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Just searching for support
05-19-2018, 03:32 PM
Post: #1
Just searching for support
About 2 years ago I was kicked out of a place due to false accusations against me.. Since then been praying and asking God for healing and the truth behind everything I went through for close to 8yrs that I was in this "church". I had been spiritually, mentally, emotionally abused along with slight physical abuse. I beleive God has shown me much concerning this place and looking back it has more cult like signs. However now I feel alone, Don't feel like I can actually talk about everything I went through, extremely terrified of even going to church. I am in a good church now but still terrified. I find that because of all I went through is effecting me today.
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05-20-2018, 04:27 AM
Post: #2
RE: Just searching for support
Whiterose,

Glad you found us. So sorry to hear of the trouble you are experiencing. You have been traumatized by others who have abused you at a physical, emotional & spiritual level. This deep hurt will take perhaps more time to overcome than you may think. One good thing is you have found a healthy church where you may find some support.

The term spiritual abuse is not as well known by others as you may think. If/when you discuss your experience with others be cautious. It is easy for others to think you may be just complaining about your previous church and in a bad attitude. This article may help you in your transition....

Adjusting To Life After Someone Exits An Abusive Church/Cult
https://www.facebook.com/notes/spiritual...483741079/

Reg Smile "If we want to set our lives right and find peace, it is not the tolerant attitude of others that will do it for us. It will come about, rather, by our learning how to show compassion to them..... If we do not seek liberation from our obsessions, then becoming more withdrawn and less social may even make us more blind to them, since it can mask them." - John Cassian (He lived between 360 and 430 A.D. He was a monk in Bethlehem and Egypt.)
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05-20-2018, 05:12 AM
Post: #3
RE: Just searching for support
Thank you! There is so much on my mind. I have found that those who were first hand whitnesses to what I went through dont even understand nor have I felt like I was allowed to talk about anything I went through. The "old church" actually hunted me down to the one I joined immediately after. They publicly accused me in front of the new church. However the new place did protect me both in prayer and physically..they would walk me to my car because we were not sure what these others were capable of. I pretended I was okay but I wasn't. I was invited 7 months ago to a new church that I have falled in love with and recently told the pastor briefly but not the details of what I went through. All he knows is I have been spiritually abused and thanked me dor telling him as he said they do need to know such things. He then suggested taking an inner healing class Which I started. I did open up yet I have so many questions. After seeking God and comparing what scripture says I fear I was more in a cult than a church. Yet that confuses me as they did teach Jesus as Lord and the only way to salvation. But yet all cult signs were present from fear,manipulation and control. I still fight maby triggers today. I am receiving support from the new place I am going to but I still feel there are jist things I cant talk about. Maybe to the leaders bit thats it. I feel like I need to talk about what I went through.
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05-20-2018, 06:00 AM
Post: #4
RE: Just searching for support
Only have another minute. Although not FTF, this place has helped many who need to talk about what they have and are experiencing. Glad to hear, at least, you have some support locally.

Reg Smile "If we want to set our lives right and find peace, it is not the tolerant attitude of others that will do it for us. It will come about, rather, by our learning how to show compassion to them..... If we do not seek liberation from our obsessions, then becoming more withdrawn and less social may even make us more blind to them, since it can mask them." - John Cassian (He lived between 360 and 430 A.D. He was a monk in Bethlehem and Egypt.)
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07-21-2018, 09:39 PM
Post: #5
RE: Just searching for support
I too have been hurt very badly by my church that I no longer attend. I still love this church and I wish I could get the support or a hearing ear to get someone to understand the pain I have endured. The Pastor and I are on speaking terms but only by text or email. We had a close relationship and during the last several months I have relied on him to counsel me. I have however abused our communications by sending too many emails or text and as a result I have been told I have seriously injured my Pastor by doing so. Specifically, his health, his family and his ministry. He never once told me to stop so I thought he was counseling me.
I have been devastated by this news because I had no idea what was happening. To make it short I was rebuked by the church leadership without any consideration of what scripture says about the discipline procedure found in scripture, our church bylaws and even the Westminster Standards.
I have tried to explain the hurt from this but no one wants to understand. I have talked with leadership including the Pastor but they just want to drop the matter, forgive and forget. Its just not that easy to heal from such a devastating hurt. One elder told me that the leadership thinks I am mentally unstable and that I would not be able to serve as an officer in the future. I am already an ordained Deacon in my denomination. I just feel that there rebuke was way too harsh, was not according to scripture but they don't want to admit it. I am wanting to return to the church but the hurt and pain and the mistrust have held me back. One time I say to myself I can never return to the church and the other is that this is where God has placed me so I should return, endure the embarrassment and the looks and stares and the mistrust and simply return and forget about it all. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I should view this? Thank you.
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