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Received an apology
12-20-2017, 04:38 PM (This post was last modified: 12-20-2017 04:40 PM by KingdomNow.)
Post: #1
Received an apology
I am new to the forum but have been healing for several years. My husband and I came out of a church we were a part of for 25 years. The church is up the street and has been pastored and run by a very large family for this whole time. As the pastor's family grew and matured they all became involved in leadership.... of a small church.

We had been feeling a disconnect for some time and tried to work through this with the pastor and his wife. Months later, when we felt the need to move on, we were judged harshly, confronted with our "spiritual flaws" and drug through a horribly painful time of judgement and shunning. People were told to choose between the church or us. We had not done anything wrong. It had just become an extremely controlling environment.

The pain has lingered over these years....especially because we live in a small town. Last week I received an email from one of the family/pastors. He asked for forgiveness and stated he and his wife are now seeing things from a different perspective after living in another country for three years. He said he wishes they could have a redo and acknowledged the wrongs done.

We forgave them long ago....but as you know that is an ongoing process. Even with forgiveness the hurt and pain is still so raw. These were friends for 25 years.... I watched and helped mentor the pastor's kids.....

The letter has brought back so much of the pain and the memories of what happened. It just really re-opened the wound. Even though we are grateful that he and his wife had a revelation...... the others have not. We just feel the need to really keep our distance.

Why does this pain last for so many years? Thanks for listening...

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12-21-2017, 06:08 AM
Post: #2
RE: Received an apology
A BIG welcome.

Sounds like you have things under control with a proper perspective. Forgiveness is one thing, reconciliation is something different. You have to decide what you feel comfortable with.

Reg Smile "If we want to set our lives right and find peace, it is not the tolerant attitude of others that will do it for us. It will come about, rather, by our learning how to show compassion to them..... If we do not seek liberation from our obsessions, then becoming more withdrawn and less social may even make us more blind to them, since it can mask them." - John Cassian (He lived between 360 and 430 A.D. He was a monk in Bethlehem and Egypt.)
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