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Spiritual abuse what the heck happened?
05-10-2017, 03:59 PM
Post: #1
Spiritual abuse what the heck happened?
I am new. Testing the waters out on this site. I am very wary of groups now.
Bob is a pseudo name. I have discovered so much about myself on this journey and I am learning to have a new relationship with God not based on fear. I am trying really hard to understand what happened to me. I left my church three years ago and its still faling apart at the seams.

It seems to have been my codependency and the pastors narcism at work though I don't want to blame myself and put shame on me like I often do or people have done.

Does anyone understand?

The tendency is to compare stories and say mine is not that bad. But the main thing is that I did not know I could make my own decisions which a lot of people will point fingers at me and say that is silly. But I didn't. There was a thought in my mind that you have to listen to the leaders and do what they say because they are the leaders.

In addition, to having marriage issues and also being a bit controlled by my spouse...like I said the codependency thing is an issue across the board. I am just trying to make sense of it all and I really need support.

I prayed and God showed me Jeff Vander...something book and some videos on spiritual abuse that really spoke to me. I ate up that book! I read it in 2 days.

I have been angry...you know because life was stolen from me in thinking I did not have choices. Anyway, so I am really into psychology now, high control groups, and cult research because I want to understand what happened to me so it will never happen again or I will be prepared!!!

It's weird to think God loves me and I don't need to do anything to earn that. So opposite of what experiential christianity has been for me over the years.
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05-11-2017, 05:09 AM
Post: #2
RE: Spiritual abuse what the heck happened?
(05-10-2017 03:59 PM)BOB Wrote:  I am new. Testing the waters out on this site. I am very wary of groups now.
Bob is a pseudo name. I have discovered so much about myself on this journey and I am learning to have a new relationship with God not based on fear. I am trying really hard to understand what happened to me. I left my church three years ago and its still faling apart at the seams.

It seems to have been my codependency and the pastors narcism at work though I don't want to blame myself and put shame on me like I often do or people have done.

Does anyone understand?

The tendency is to compare stories and say mine is not that bad. But the main thing is that I did not know I could make my own decisions which a lot of people will point fingers at me and say that is silly. But I didn't. There was a thought in my mind that you have to listen to the leaders and do what they say because they are the leaders.

In addition, to having marriage issues and also being a bit controlled by my spouse...like I said the codependency thing is an issue across the board. I am just trying to make sense of it all and I really need support.

I prayed and God showed me Jeff Vander...something book and some videos on spiritual abuse that really spoke to me. I ate up that book! I read it in 2 days.

I have been angry...you know because life was stolen from me in thinking I did not have choices. Anyway, so I am really into psychology now, high control groups, and cult research because I want to understand what happened to me so it will never happen again or I will be prepared!!!

It's weird to think God loves me and I don't need to do anything to earn that. So opposite of what experiential christianity has been for me over the years.

(05-10-2017 03:59 PM)BOB Wrote:  There was a thought in my mind that you have to listen to the leaders and do what they say because they are the leaders.

Welcome Bob, glad you found us.

You may like this...

FALSE AUTHORITY

https://www.facebook.com/notes/spiritual...129989017/

Reg Smile "If we want to set our lives right and find peace, it is not the tolerant attitude of others that will do it for us. It will come about, rather, by our learning how to show compassion to them..... If we do not seek liberation from our obsessions, then becoming more withdrawn and less social may even make us more blind to them, since it can mask them." - John Cassian (He lived between 360 and 430 A.D. He was a monk in Bethlehem and Egypt.)
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