In my fathers foot steps

[kodee]

I did find a church that seemed harmless enough, It is kinda Baptist/nondenominational. I made the mistake of admitting what I have told most of you in here and the pastors response was of woundering if I was like my father, set me back a little and the more I think about it the more embarressed I get about telling him and the home group leader. Have not been back since. one of you said she admired me for my honesty in telling my story, There is an anninimity using the web, you cant see me, you know the town I put down as my home town but not alot about me. that's okay! I don't mind sharing and you all have been very supportive and for that I'm greatfull. I just don't know if its time for me to return to church. I have concluded that alot of you have trust issues, i'm with you on that one. I just can't hide what i am and what has happened to me. Again I feel alone. Do you think this is spiritual abuse or just ignorance? I don't sence any malice in his comments. he seems like a nice guy. i will say that he wants to open a tavern minestry with music and witnessing. I don't think he understands that most men who have been abused have substance abuse issues or sexual identity issues and are found in Taverns, if he does not have the answers for me as a christian then how is he going to answer the tough questions from someone there? I asked in anouther thread if God will judge me if I can't forgive, I still don't have the answers for that one. Right now I do wish my mnother would have aborted me, at least my blood would have been on her hands not mine.