here goes nothing...

[Erin]

Hello all...this is my first post. I stumbled upon this forum a while back. I read it now and again, but I just haven't been brave enough to post anything. But I am curious about a couple things...first is there anyone else here who didn't choose to be in the church where the SA occured? What I mean is that I grew up in a church like that. I didn't choose it. It was chosen for me, and I had no idea that what was happening was wrong. It was just the way it was. When I left it wasn't because I knew anything was wrong. I left because I was in college and my parents couldn't make me go anymore. It wasn't until later when my parents finally got out that I found out that wasn't the way churches were suppose to be. I realize that sounds stupid, but I really had no idea.
Second it took me about 8 years, but I've started going back to church. It's the complete opposite of the church I grew up in - which sometimes I love and sometimes I hate. Anyway before I started going back to church I just felt very angry about what happened where I grew up, but now all these feelings keep coming up that I didn't even know where there - mostly I just feel hurt and I don't know how to deal with that. It was much easier being angry. I just feel like I'm bouncing all over the place - loving my new church one minute and being suspicious of every little thing the next.
I was just curious if anyone else has had any similar experiences.

Thank you...