Going Through the Mill:

[hornblower]

Please help us pray for my daughter. She is on a rampage to move to a new apartment. Anyone could understand why she want this but it wouldnt help her in fact it would be worse I know.
Shes desperate for friends and she is in a really hard place.
When she works its not in prestigious jobs, usually retail sales and people can be really mean in those positions and really nice too. Shes got a good boss but nobody else will have anything to do with her. The younger girls smoke and go outside and dont work she says.
I try to explain to her how it is but she thinks Im critisizing her. Im not but anyway..........shes ill.......shes not really bad ill but enough so that people shun her because this is a horible world we live in with uncaring mean people how well i know!
Im worried she might try to kill herself. Shes never done that but the way she is crying and going on and on its like she is facing her illness in ways she has never faced it before.

I told my husband we need to get some help and he just looked at me like Im crazy. Ok I was.
I forgot there is no help.
I ciopied this to show anyone that will read this post and if I can Im going to try to post the link too if you want to read the article. Once again I treied to at least find someone to talk too about these situations online. I hate nothering you guys so much with my pain about her. There is nothing anywhere. There is for schizophrenics but not for us.

Heres the copy I did from a story about another family:

(The Harwoods cared for her at home until she was 32. But then the strain became too much. "When there's a mentally ill person in the family," Carolyn Harwood says, "the whole family gets sick.")

Maybe this will help someone understand how we suffer. To have your daughter attacked and almost murdered when she was barely six is one thing. But then to try so hard for years and years to keep going to church and serve others and God and be treated like I have the plague when I ask someone to pray for her????????????????????
She is most definitely a Christian or the best kind. She would help anyone anytime with anything. She saves little baby birds for heavens sakes. You would think someone from these fine huge mamoth churches that she goes too and takes care of their children for them would become a friend to her wouldnt you? Nope! Never! Not one! Not ever!

Im so angry and hurting so bad, my eyes are so swollen and my husband is exhausted from her calling him at work pleading and yelling and doing anything she can to move to this run down apartment in the worst part of town because she thinks there will be someone there to love her maybe?

DR PHIL??????????????? DR Laura???????? Where are you??????? I can just hear them now with their damnable advise. At least im not so dumb to even call them. How well I know what its like to have someone hang up on me like Dr Laura does. Or try telling all of this to your counselor to have him sit there and say nope there is no help for her or you! Yep he did my friends. Thats all he ever said to me..........?
So Ok.
Im sorry Im stuck with this one im finally really mad at God. He knows I am so maybe this is where he wanted me to get too. In this area of being so mad at Him.........Im afraid..........I know Hes told me to not worry before.......this is what the pastors wife got so mad at the bible study about....she was yelling at everybody but me. I knew it was me she was upset with though so I called her hand at it. I knew it was time to leave there. Either leave or get something straight with her she was so completely.............controlling! Mean too. To the little people. Thats why she wouldnt even look at me. I will not stand for that!
Anyway God told me I could get mad at Him all I wanted too. He told me that He wasnt afraid of my sin not one little bit!
So according to what the bible study was supposed to be doing I read the scripture god gave me and then proceeded to tell what He showed me about it which was He wasnt afraid of my sin............in fact bring it on!
SHe couldnt deal with that one!
I want to say to each of you that is why we have all been hurt in these places. These people are severely running away from something. God! You dont want to be in their way when it happens.
Anyway....Im just here hurting and hoping and crying out to God in my angery way lately thought Id let u guys know about it. Please pray for my little girl. God told me I would make her wedding dress. Now I dont know if I really hear Him or not but I still have this hope about that one. I didnt even ask Him if she could get married? She would be getting married fairly late in life if she did. Probably no grandaughter. There goes my dream.........gone!
Like I said though its not that important to me that she have a husband, but it is to her she said it tonight! This is the first time she has ever said that ever to me!!!!!!!
She said, Ill be here in this place the rest of my life and ill never get married and have a husband or any friends either! She was crying so hard, its very unusual.
My back.............Ive got to go too long again! sorry. sorry sorry.