Who is King Baby?

[Tim]

'King Baby' is a title sometimes conferred on us, especially in early recovery, and refers to the characteristic infantile ego possessed by those who need to grow up. King Babies are driven by self-will, banging with all their might on their high chair trays. Recovery is a process of maturing emotionally and spiritually. Maybe that's why Bill W. referred to AA as a 'Spiritual Kindergarten'.

What is a King Baby (or if you prefer, Queen Baby)? This is someone who needs to control others. It is someone who has an inability to accept frustrations. It is someone who wants it her way, right away.

What are some other characteristics of King Baby? Here is a list roughly adapted from a Hazelden Recovery Pamphlet of the same name:

(1) Often becomes angry or afraid of authority figures and attempts to manipulate them to get his own way

(2) Seeks approval to the extent that she loses her own identity

(3) Makes a good 1st impression, but fails to follow thru

(4) Has difficulty accepting criticism and becomes threatened and angry

(5) Is driven to extremes

(6) Is self-rejecting

(7) Is often immobilized by anger and frustration, and is rarely satisfied

(8) Is usually lonely even around other people

(9) Is a chronic complainer who blames others for what is wrong in his life

(10) Feels unappreciated and thinks she doesn't fit in

(11) Sees the world as filled with selfish people who aren't there for him

(12) Sees everything as a catastrophe

(13) Judges in absolutes, black-and-white

(14) Lives in the past and is fearful of the future

(15) Has strong feelings of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment

(16) Fears failure and rejection and won't try new things that they might not do well

(17) Obsessed with money and material things

(18) Dreams big, but has little ability to make things happen

(19) Cannot tolerate illness in themselves or others

(20) Prefers to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates

(21) Believes that rules are for others

(22) Becomes addicted to excitement

(23) Holds emotional pain within and loses touch with his feelings

Make of this what you will.