A Note To All!

[Illuminated]

Hello Everyone!
I am posting this to explain to everyone the situation that has occured here on this forum involving my posts in the last week.

Last week I responded to what I considered an unusual post in the NACR forum. I thought it was unusual because of the way that it was written and composed. I refer to the post titled 'From Jess', authored by the user Ninaspirit.

I tried to encourage the poster, who I thought might be posting as a spot of humour, by talking about Jesus.

The responses made by Jess, through Ninaspirit's account, began to worry me because of the content on the responses. Such statements as 'we are 12' and 'there are more of us here' are statements sometimes uttered by people who are influenced by forces other than Jesus.

Because the poster seemed a little upset and was responding so quickly to my posts, I thought that the poster was in need of a continuing dialogue with someone at that time. So, I continued respond and to reference Jesus, thinking that perhaps the poster was still carrying on a joking thread for a little comic relief.
I tried to make a pun about the name of the poster - Jess - and how close it was to the name of Jesus. The responses from Jess continued, typed strangely and unclear to me.

The next morning someone kindly PMed me and told me the situation about the poster called Jess. I immediately apologised to that PMer, and to the two other people who PMed me about the situation, and told them my thinking process.
I was afraid to respond to Jess again, because one of the PMers said I was making statements that could be considered psychologically harmful to Jess. How statements about Jesus could be psychologically harmful to someone, I just don't know.

I am not qualified to respond to a poster such as Jess, or to others on the board who also sometimes post as another person. When I found out the nature of Jess, I knew that the situation was a trigger for me. I explained that to the first PMer, or one of the PMers, I don't remember. I explained in confidence because I didn't want to hurt Jess. Well, that someone has apparently told Jess what I said and what my thinking processes were. A breach of confidence has occurred. I stopped my PM capabilities because I could not handle any more PMs that were alarming to me.

Immediately after finding out the nature of Jess, I PMed the Admin of the board and asked that my comments be removed because I was told by the PMers that they were hurting Jess. The admin of the board refused to remove the comments.

I have come far enough in my recovery, thanks to listening to our stories here on this forum and through other counseling, to know that I still need to be in a safe place, free from any attack and condemnation for my opinions and thoughts. This board is not a safe place for me because I was not allowed to retract what I wrote. Incidently, I wrote what I wrote after being misled by the poster to think that the posting was a joke, due to circumstances beyond my control.

This kind of situation, and the outcome, to me, is another example of verbal abuse by other Christians. No one told me, or others on this board that I know of, about the nature of Jess. That is neglect.

When I did apologise for 'hurting' Jess unintentionlly to the PMers (because I was afraid to correpond with Jess anymore), I think my apology was conveyed to Jess because the reasons I gave showed up in a post by the PMer that I explained things to. I am sure that the information I shared confidentially with one of the PMers about my thought process was conveyed to Jess because it showed up in a following post by Jess.

Jess is still complaining and talking about me. This is such a trigger for me - someone talking and saying things that are not true about me behind my back - that I can't take it.

I have asked that my membership be removed from the forum. So much for Christian fellowship.