Will I Ever Get Better?

[hornblower]

Yeah: whoa is me, blah blah blah.........my Mother used to say to me when I would get down, which was a lot ......"why dont you go out to the garden and eat worms?" Of course on top of being depressed that thought would make me sick to my stomach.

Im just wondering if someone can tell me, if you want too that is, what this problem Im having is? I dream a lot at night, always have. I think I have a sleep problem with this. Anyway, I often sort of halfway wake up with thinking someone is going to kill me, to be more precise stab me to death.

Or I wake up thinking yukky thoughts. I wont go into what they are, cause thats a lot like the worm thing my Mother said to me right?

Does anyone know what causes this to happen? How can I spiritually get over it? For good now, Im tired of it. I have always fought these thoughts and they dont happen very often, but still it sure does ruin what little chances I have for a good day.

Am I like really sick in the head? Ive been to councelors, done that, been there and dont tell me that, ok? Ive done meds, been there, done that too, and if it helped me Id be right back on them. I may do it again anyway but they really dont help me much. Ive tried everything there is.

I want God and his people to help me, know what I mean? Anyway thanks for listening Id appreciate some feedback on this.