Church attendance frustrations...

[Sheep]

After 16 yrs of marriage I discovered that my husband had been deceptive with me throughout our whole marriage. This naturally devastated me. I kept going to church with him for awhile, but it was too much like pretending. I've discussed with him at length that I need him to put forth some sort of effort into our relationship spiritually on Mon, Tue, Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Saturday in order for me to feel comfortable attending church with him on Sunday. Well, he was sleeping yesterday, so I got up and got ready to go to church and after he heard me he started to do the same! I reminded him that when he ignores me the rest of the week and then intends on going to church together that it's a trigger for me because my dad used to "play church" on Sundays then live whatever way he wanted to the rest of the week! He commented that he hadn't remembered anything about these conversations we've had nor the boundaries I have around attending church together. So...I stayed home again and he went (by himself). Grr...this relationship has too many "same old patterns" repeating itself!!!! I don't know if I should just start going to a different church for myself - it's a thought anyway. I did that while we were separated and it seemed to be just fine. Why do I care so much about these things anyway?!

Needing God's grace ~

Sheep