Meditating and pondering the thought

I was sitting here and meditating how God's awesome power and I realized that I had totally lost respect for His power and His greatness. It is like He became anemic and frail unable. I had no respect for Him and wanted to shun anything that had to do with His power good or bad. I also realized that it was lost in the obscurity of man trying to make himself so great to me and make himself so powerful that I lost my focused.

I didn't realize how little God had become until I took out the things that made Him great. Yeah, I wanted to ditch my pain (which is okay, who don't) and I wanted to point fingers (that is normal for a moment) and I wanted to be selective and only put in God what I wanted Him to be. But that doesn't give me the real God or the real picture. It is so hard to see that God's thoughts and ways are higher and not like ours and why do I and others keep trying to box God in to a picture frame..... ?????!!?

It is pretty scarey to have a God who knows more than I do because I risk being reduced again... I guess I really need to be humble which is virtually impossible for me to just do. It usually means a process for me. It is really incredible that God can't be boxed to a definition or a process, or rule of thumb. Gosh, I just wished I hadn't of tossed so many things out with the bathwater like God with the rest of the things. I am sure glad He understands and has healing balm for my mind and my life.