The Cause of all the Controversy

[Voyager]

I've been posting on these forums for over six years now, and if there is any one thing I have seen that will cause an immediate controversy - it is someone bringing correction to the forum or to a specific member. Every time this has happened, it has caused the forum to erupt in anger and a storm of emotions.

The Forum Guidelines are very clear as to what the reasons are that these forums are here for, and correction, criticizing, or counseling other members is not part of them. I want to also say that when someone responds in anger to another member bringing correction, that is not stooping to the same level. Letting someone know that it is not their place to correct you is not a form of bringing correction to them - it is simply saying "I do not appreciate you correcting or judging me."

Correcting the forum and/or a specific member is a way of saying "I don't have a problem - you do!" It is a form of covering up your own hurts, wounds, and shortcomings. To give it a Biblical term, it is a way of trying to remove the toothpick out of someone else's eye when you have a rafter beam in your own eye.

Many of the members of these forums - especially those on the spiritual abuse forum - are very sensitive to correction, especially religious correction. The reason many of us are here is due to receiving harsh religious correction and punishment for many years without being able to speak our minds. So, when you see someone here vent after another member attempts to bring correction and/or judgement to them, it really is a very healthy sign - even if anger is involved. It's okay to be angry when you feel like someone has overstepped your boundaries.

We are all here to learn how to stand up for ourselves and to create healthy boundaries. We are doing that by sharing our hurts and experiences, and by supporting and caring for one another - not by bringing correction or criticism to one another.

That's my understanding of what these forums are all about, and it is in no way an attempt to correct anyone or to change this forum.