What is Recovery From Spiritual Abuse?

[Voyager]

What is Recovery From Spiritual Abuse?

A newcomer recently declared that they felt they had already "recovered" from spiritual abuse because they were back in a church and submitted to the leadership, and that the rest of us needed to do the same so that we could recover also. I don't think it's that easy.

What is recovery from abuse? I don't think that there is a one-size-fits-all answer. What is recovery for the domestic abuse victim? Is it getting re-married? What is recovery for the rape victim? Is it being able to be nice to rapists? What is recovery for the maimed victim of a drunk driver? Is it being able to walk without a limp again?

For many abuse victims, unless they get educated, they may walk right back into an abusive situation again. This is true for not only domestic abuse victims, but spiritual abuse victims also. The possibility of a spiritual abuse victim migrating right back into another abusive church is just as high as it is for a domestic abuse victim to hook up with another wife-beater. So, the idea of being "recovered" just because you get back into a church again doesn't hold water.

I left my spiritually abusive church over six years ago. I have read more books on spiritual abuse than I can count since then. If anyone should be recovered, I should be. I have desperately tried to educate myself on how to move on from spiritual abuse. But it's not that easy. If education alone could make me recover, I would have already been recovered. I don't know if there is a place of complete recovery for any abuse victim.

What is recovery to you? For some of us it may be getting rid of the depression that hits you every day. For others it may be being able to see a church sign without cussing under your breath. Some may even think that it is getting back into a church and being able to sit through a sermon without being triggered. But I don't think there is anyone who can come in here and tell us what recovery is for us. That's because nobody can see inside our minds and our hearts. There is no prescription for a broken heart.

For me, recovery might include not getting triggered by scripture anymore. However, just because scripture doesn't trigger you doesn't mean you are recovered. Some rape victims might not get triggered by men wearing police uniforms - but that doesn't mean they have recovered. I would also like to be able to go to a church without feeling like my family is going to be abused again. I don't know if I will ever get to that place. But, just because you might be in a church right now doesn't mean you have recovered.

I thought I'd start this thread to let you tell us what recovery would be for you. What would it take for you to feel like you have recovered from spiritual abuse? I'm not sure that any of us will ever fully recover. However, I do believe that there is a place that we can graduate from "victim" to "survivor". That is what I am working toward.

What changes would you like to see in your life? What does "recovery" mean to you?