bad mom

[Leslie]

I just heard from a dear friend at church that some of the ladies at church make (snidish?) comments when I don't go to prayer meeting that my husband is "there again with the kids!". I understand that she doesn't want to be involved, which means she doesn't want to tell me who is questioning my mothering. She said she thinks some people believe I am slack in my mothering because of this. Of course these people don't know my reasons for not being there.

He takes them there often because he insists on it. During the separation he insisted on seeing them nightly after his lawyer told him to, and took them to church even if it was to stash them in the nursery, often keeping them out until 10:00 .

[Jerry]

Originally Posted by Leslie

I just heard from a dear friend at church that some of the ladies at church make (snidish?) comments when I don't go to prayer meeting that my husband is "there again with the kids!". I understand that she doesn't want to be involved, which means she doesn't want to tell me who is questioning my mothering. She said she thinks some people believe I am slack in my mothering because of this. Of course these people don't know my reasons for not being there.

He takes them there often because he insists on it. During the separation he insisted on seeing them nightly after his lawyer told him to, and took them to church even if it was to stash them in the nursery, often keeping them out until 10:00 .

Dear Leslie,,,
Be strong for yourself and kids and don't let them get to you.What you are whitnessing is these people walking whole before you to their deaths.That is how they kill themselves.That is the way they die.All day they wage these little wars,,,,,,,,,,,,,and the darkness accumulates in their minds like poison
Love Jerry

[mstar]

Leslie, Jerry is right. Know it hurts and you prob. feel like you are in a "web" of misunderstanding.

If these people are called by Christ to be your friends, then they will be listening to His Spirit and believing the best of you. . . His great unconditional love for you. If not, detach and give them to the Lord to deal with. Continue to be the good mom that you are and ignore them.

Will continue to pray for you and your family.

How hurtful and how judgmental! Just out of curiosity, why did this friend of yours feel the need to share these horrible comments with you? Was she upset that someone would talk so badly about you? Did she come to your defense when these ladies were commenting about you? If someone said these kinds of words about a friend of mine, it would really make me mad and I would speak up in her defense!!!

I'm so sorry that your husband is using your children in this way...in an attempt to make you "look bad". And just taking them to stash them in the nursery until 10:00, how is that being a "good parent"? I now regret the things that I put my children through because of our involvement with our former "church". My youngest one spent late nights in the "church" nursery because of lengthy services. Do I feel that that made me a "good mother" by putting him through that? Absolutely not! My involvement in our former "church" made me a worse mother, not a better one!

Gwen

[SpinningHead]

I say "moon" em!

[butterfly]

Leslie, DO you think your husband said anything to these ladys?
You don"t have to say anything to some because they know the truth NOT .
The church I went to had busy bodys acting like buzzards. If you missed a service they were right there buzzing around picking at you when you went back. Worse yet they would dive in on your family if you didn"t show up with them. Pick pick away they would go at it. My poor sons hated to go to church if I wasn"t going because they hated those attacks.
I am sorry that you have to be picked apart from the buzzards in that church. butterfly [shirley]

[Joseph]

Hi Leslie,

I'm going through similar things right now, because I haven't been in church for about 8 months, and I have custody of my daughter every Sunday, I am being heavily criticized by the ex wife, her family and their friends and minions. I said I woulld be happy to explain to them what had happened to us and they say "I don't want to hear it" that was their exact words. It was okay for my ex, not going to church for the last three years (she just started going again in the last couple of months) and her parents spenta year out of church too, but that was okay. They are making a feeble attempt to make me look bad, I stand up for what I feel is right for my daughter and I, screw them and their judging and their slander, their just trying to get me to react. Thats what you have to be careful of, they try to get you to explode or be unstable, question yourself. Keep your relationships strong with your kids, pour into them. Try not to be critical of those people in front of them, and educate them as soon as you think they're old enough, as they get older they will see whats going on. My daughters twelve and she went through the SA with me, she saw it, she learned from it, and they can't pull the wool over her eyes. As a matter of fact, she questions why they don't want to hear about how we were hurt by the church, why they don't care. It may take a little time, but your integrity will shine through and all of this stuff will be exposed as the nonsense that it is.

Hang in there,
Joe

[Leslie]

The few people I asked knew nothing of the gossip. I think my friend told me to warn me for my own good--to let me know what my absence looks like to some. She doesn't think she was supposed t hear the comments, so she didn't address the speakers. That's really all I know.

The late, late nights were when we were separated. Once then the elders and my husband kept my kids at church until 11pm. With all their cell phones turned off I was beside myself with worry. Now they're usually home by 9:15, which still means a late bedtime!

thanks, all, I'll respond to your kind comments soon
Leslie