"mosquito" still here

[standing still]

I'm just wondering.

Why is it when there were 30 views regarding my agreement with "Satscout" on her post regarding there be a cooling down along with a request from voyager to forgive me was there no posted responses?

However, there were numerous posts to the posts regarding voyager's responses to the "offensive" post I was seeking forgiveness with a backhanded slap and labeling as a mosquito.

THe mesquito is still here....bbbbuuuuzzzzzzz

By the way. I sign my posts. I don't hide behind a mask.

Best,
Pal Madden
706.372.5302
E-mail: mpmadden@peoplepc.com

[dwilliams]

:D

Hey! :)

No harm intended...as I said, I don't know what the reasons are for the strong emotions...

I'm sure that if you offended me in any way, then came and apologized, I'd forgive you instantly... Further, even if there was no apology, I don't hold grudges, so would have just shrugged my shoulders and went on my way.

I can be a pest too, so the label doesn't offend me much. It's cool! :cool:
I'm sure most of my posts here are pretty dull, some a little offensive and you have pointed out one in particular as our-right obnoxious!
Buzzzzz back atcha, my friend! :)

I apologize for adding my two cents with that post, but as I said, I don't care to know what the initial disagreement was about...I really just got to the part where the person mentioned "pest" and my brain shot out an automatic image of a person ignoring a mosquito on his/her arm, which, if left alone, would cause the stingy, itchy bump... I know, I know! My humor is a little off sometimes and it sounded like I was suggesting a "slap" in your direction... :eek:

Again, no harm intended; physical, verbal or otherwise...

Darren Williams

See? There's the name, but for all other correspondence, I'd rather stick to PM's.

[Willow]

Hi Pal,
Don't think I've said a word crosswise to you.
I'm working hard on that.
I'd rather not use my real name most of the time. Sometimes I sign my posts with my real name when it feels right. Hiding? I dont' think I'm hiding.

[Voyager]

By the way. I sign my posts. I don't hide behind a mask.

What do you want - a cookie? Or would you rather we just admit now that you are better than all of us? Would that give you the validation you are seeking?

:rolleyes:

[standing still]

Do you need need to go on another "voyage" crying "melt down - the sky is falling, the end id near."

Why don't you pick up the phone and call me? Or, do you not have the courage?
Nah, you'll just hide behind your mask...

Best,
Pal

706.372.5302

[Voyager]

Do you need need to go on another "voyage" crying "melt down - the sky is falling, the end id near."

Why don't you pick up the phone and call me? Or, do you not have the courage?
Nah, you'll just hide behind your mask...

Best,
Pal

706.372.5302

LOL! :D

[standing still]

You're growing. At least you didn't cry "melt down."

And, no, I'm not better. Far from it.

I wouldn't mind a cookie, though. Oatmeal with Chocolate chip.

Best,
Pal



LOL! :D

[Voyager]

Let's be pals, okay Pal? I'm not your enemy. You can cry on my shoulder anytime.

And the forum members all said, "Awww, isn't that sweet!"

:p

[standing still]

I was never your enemy. You have misinterpreted my posts. In addition, I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers or solutions as your reponse to the "let" post suggest.

I have only been trying to take what I have learned from my own losses and turn them into gain for myself and others in the body of Christ.

It's this kind of fleshing out that uncovers the true motives. Maybe others looking on can see that just because someone is venting a different colored smoke that there may at times be the need to look beyond the cloud - there may be a light behind it.

Cry on your shoulder? I'll be doing plenty of crying tonight. I was going to coach my 9 year old in basketball, and had to turn around because I didn't have enough gas to get there in the car I turn in tomorrow. So, I came back here to the library.

It is going to break my son's heart. I was the head coach. Even though the season is only half over I knew this was going to be my last chance to coach him. It meant so much to me because it was through sports leagues at the "Y" that I saw the most authentic representation of Christ I have ever known. I was doing a very good job with these boys. We were really moving in a good direction. Now, it's over.

My marriage is over. My family with five beautiful children is broken apart. My children are hurting. My wife is turning them against me. She stays in the church denomination I was victimized in, and uses them to stay covered up. She has bought into her own lies. How do you deal with that?

My ministry was based all around the biblical church, starting with the family. If you ever go to my web site you will see that. It was fashioned so people could truly be empowered for the kingdom.

This past weekend I couldn't get to the library to get in this forum because of snow in Chralotte. It gave me time to reflect. I was concerned someone here might go to my site, see the word discipleship, and run from it because of past abuse. I started thinking of alternative words I could use so that those here, and others that have been abused would feel safe.

My leanings have only been solidified here. I see when we are reaching out to others it helps to ease our pain and get more in touch with God. That's what my minstry is all about - to empower people in a safe enviroment to impact others through authentic ministry into a stronger relationship with God without the usual titles through a different form of ministry.

However, to think some might think I stand here thinking I have all the answers only reveals to me how deeply I have been misunderstood. That's why I asked those here to go to the site, and then offer their refelections and constructive criticism so that I might find ways to improve upon it.

However, tomorrow or the next day I get to experience homelessness, and go to a shelter. Never dreamed I would ever find myself there. All I ever wanted to do was start a ministry so others would not come up against the same abuse I have in the church, and have true freedom in their efforts to grow.

So, yes, here, I have gained a mystic touch. I have found those who shoulder my pain with me, and understand my pilgrimmage. They understand as Vanvonderan states: the subtle power of spritual abuse.

I have taken my pearls far too often and laid them before "swine", only to have them trample over it, reduce it to something it wasn't, and then try to stand against their stampede as they turned and tore me to pieces. And, now, it is happening again.

So, you see my fellow voyager and journeyman, some who come here come excited because they believe they have something that God has prepared through their years of suffering that may give what we are all seeking in our relationships with God, and that is an authentic walk with love that can even love the abusers, as Christ did.

I'm not there, yet, I don't guess. Maybe my homelessness will get me there - I don't know. I do know as Vanvonderen states that those who deal with what we deal with at times feel like they are going crazy. And, I have to admit I'm a close to totally losing my sanity. I'm wondering if I'm not going to end up standing on a street corner talking to the air. Or, maybe God is going to give me my "hinds feet on high places."

I know, as Vanvonderen sates, those are two very large extremes. What can I say?

I will find out in short order.

Best,
Pal












Many years ago we fell asleep by the sedative of the superman, but the mystic magic of nature wand says awake and rise again. Too long has thou slumbered, too long has time passed you by, your work on earth is delinquent and you cannot reign on high. If it's true that you've awaken, good for you, but your work has just begun, because thy brother needs awakening too, touch him softly, gently, aportion of thy light to him give, and the mystic magic of your touch will cause him to look and live.

Let's be pals, okay Pal? I'm not your enemy. You can cry on my shoulder anytime.

And the forum members all said, "Awww, isn't that sweet!"

:p

[dwilliams]

Standing Still...

sent you a PM saying your link don't work...

Maybe just won't on my end...?

Hmm...curious...

[standing still]

I don't know what PM is.

[dwilliams]

Private Message...top right corner of screen...

[standing still]

Since I have at times had things I have developed taken and reduced to something it wasn't by "officials" in the church, I changed the link to:

klmministries.hostvm.com/home.html

no www in front - test site

Sad to have to live with that kind of paranoia.

Best,
Pal

[standing still]

oops - left out an "i"

It's:

klmministries.ihostvm.com/home.html

[Kerrin]

Hi "standing still",
I'm just coming in on this so I may be out of touch completely.
I found my broken marriage too to be something my church was interested in; that is it was my fault not his and after 10 years i was out!
I know as a single mum what it's like to be homeless, with a child who had just undergone 2 spinal operations.
I too wondered where the next meal would come from and would i have enough petrol until next wlfare cheque.
BUT, when i was finally broken. (& broke). I found one night I literally cried out to God and gave Him everything incluuding my life. I really meant for Him to take me away, things were so bleak.
Amongst other things he asked me to surrendor EVERYTHING to Him. I said I HAVE!!! TAKE IT ALL. He quietly said No you haven't said I can have these things to do with what i will, not YOUR will. (Sounds simple? It wasn't)
Anyway, 5 months later I have job a savings account a good credit record and am going on a hokiday up North (Barrier Reef area, Robert if your reading!), and i still pinch myself at where iwas even 2 months ago.
Each day I expect nothing i pray for a blessing even though i don't deserve it and always wear my armour,
God Bless You and He will provide if you let him do it His way,
Blessings,
Kerrin ;)