trying hard not to throw the baby out with the bathwater

[kaz57]

trying hard not to throw the baby out with the bathwater!!!

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hi - i have just discovered this website and i think it will be a great help to me. I am english living in london and was raised fundamentalist, evangelical and charismatic ... phew thats quite a package deal!!!
I married my husband ONLY cos he convinced me i would be out of gods will if i didnt....and believe me there has never been anywhere scarier in my imagination than "out of god's will" canyon!!!!! i then endured 10 years of mental and physical abuse cos divorce would also be "out of gods will". finally the marriage broke me and i got out - i have spent the last 20 years gradually coming to the realisation that i cannot live a life of fear and guilt any more. I am a fun loving person with a love of life but the fundamentalist faith is choking the life out of me..... the last 5 years have been spent trying to come to terms with the fact that although i love god and treasure my faith in jesus there has been something terribly flawed in the conditioning about christianity that i was raised in....that is a scary thing to realise isnt it!!! I am daring to question and let go of all that while at the same time trying to maintain my faith or rather let my faith find a character and balance that truly serves and nurtures me and is NOT about fear but about grace and love and mercy. Its sooo not easy cos the cords of fear and condemnation are so ingrained - but i will perservere
im trying to save the baby whilst getting rid of the bathwater cos so many people (an awful lot of them very well intentioned) have peed in my bathwater and its just got to go - its just not healthy to sit in anymore.
it would really mean a lot to me to be able to chat with any others who are on this journey and gain support and understanding - and share encouragement
thanks a lot
karen :)

[tke316]

I enjoyed your mixed metaphor. When you throw the baby out with the bath water, the baby is the one who was sitting in the bath water, not you.

It's good to get free. I recommend The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.

You could also look into and get a taste for some open future ideas. People can look at God's will as not cast in concrete (another metaphor). God tells us to pray and, in a sense, negotiate his will. We keep hearing that it was God's will that Jesus go to the cross, but even Jesus prayed to God that "if it is possible let this cup pass from me." In other words, even Jesus was able to talk to God about God's will having "another way." "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42.

Grace and Peace,

LastDaze

[Jerry]

Dear Kaz,,,
What a wonderful introduction,,,,,,WELCOME to "DISFUNCTION JUNCTION" :D Remember Christ came to "break the chains",,,,,,NOT to "change the locks" ;)

Love Jerry

[Anna Marta]

I am a fun loving person with a love of life but the fundamentalist faith is choking the life out of me.....

the last 5 years have been spent trying to come to terms with the fact that although i love god and treasure my faith in jesus there has been something terribly flawed in the conditioning about christianity that i was raised in....

it would really mean a lot to me to be able to chat with any others who are on this journey and gain support and understanding - and share encouragement
thanks a lot
karen :)

I hear you! The healthiest thing I did was to walk out of that brand of Christianity - and not look back!

You are right, it does suck the life out of you because it has nothing to do with God and everything to do with people who have their own agenda - instead of building up, it tears down, from the inside out!!! :mad:

My faith and my relationship to the Lord has become increasingly stronger since I no longer worry about pleasing people and lost that fear. It was a severe shock to me also to discover that a great deal of my life had been based on "a lie." For a long time I was very uncomfortable about not being a card carrying member of some religious organization.

My experience with SA has taken me on a journey that I hope will not end until I meet my Lord. I am presently reading a book by Steven Maltz entitled "Where the Church Went Wrong..." think you may enjoy the read and get some valuable information on basic tenants of the faith and why they are what they are... why they are MAN made...

Good luck on your journey.
Anna Marta