kodee
04-11-2010, 01:08 AM
I think I have told you that I have not been close to my mother, she was one of my abusers and when I met Jesus the church was a safe place that I knew she would not get to me, After my father died it was my responsibility to look after her. It has been a strain to say the least, even though she can't hit me anymore she still can wound and push my buttons. Reciently I have been struggling with her touching me inapproprately, I kept playing the new release from Mercyme "All of Creation" and down loaded it off amazon, Great song and its on youtube.on the video there was a part that shows an old woman in the arms of Jesus and I saw my mother. I kept playing it over and over as I drove. I began to cry because the thought of having to spend eternity with her was overwhelming but found myself praying for her, not that God would punish her but would not hold her accountible for the sin's committed agenst me. I asked Jesus to find a way to have the gospel explaned to her in a way that would introduce her to Christ. This is a big step for me, still feeling uneasy with it but I know Jesus is pleased. I will say that I don't expect her to follow christ, she is stuck in her ways and my Doctors believe she in mentaly Ill. If anything else it was good for my heart.