Happy Easter if you are up to it

[ex-shep]

Some of us because of our abuse, today is a bittersweet day. The forum knows that and we are here for you. Find what joy you can today; if that is too much, the coffee pot is brewing and somebody will be on the forum to listen and support.

[Hope 98]

God bless you ex-shep for your concern and your virtual coffee pot.

Praying for a stability that seems to have eluded you for so long, a job that you can feel good about, adequate finances, support and peace.

Easter is OK for me. Life in general has been wearing me down. I'm not at church or with family or friends because I just can put on the smile and optimism. I can't figure out just what might provide the right source of energy I need to recharge.

Some might be willing to help if I could tell them what I need, but I can't ask when I don't really know.

I'm still very cautious about asking a lot of folks for help, because so often in my past, I've received judgment and "discipline" instead of compassion and assistance. The fear fills in where fatigue leaves spaces. I'm not sure how to pull out & up.

Guess I needed to let this out somewhere. Thanks for making it feel safe to do.

[Minni]

I have actually been having a hard Easter, and it was really nice to see this thread here on the forum. I have not been on this Forum for many months, but now and then things of the past arise in me. Easter has been a time when I have been thinking about Jesus, and has been really sad because I kind of have missed part of the fellowship-feeling, and then a part of me did not missed it at all. I also react when I see Christian putting on Facebook things like “Jesus is risen” and so on because of Easter. I guess that I am still not over the spiritual abuse-part.

[Minni]

God bless you ex-shep for your concern and your virtual coffee pot.

Praying for a stability that seems to have eluded you for so long, a job that you can feel good about, adequate finances, support and peace.

Easter is OK for me. Life in general has been wearing me down. I'm not at church or with family or friends because I just can put on the smile and optimism. I can't figure out just what might provide the right source of energy I need to recharge.

Some might be willing to help if I could tell them what I need, but I can't ask when I don't really know.

I'm still very cautious about asking a lot of folks for help, because so often in my past, I've received judgment and "discipline" instead of compassion and assistance. The fear fills in where fatigue leaves spaces. I'm not sure how to pull out & up.



Guess I needed to let this out somewhere. Thanks for making it feel safe to do.

I feel kind of the same. Asking people for help within the church-system
often ends up with a lot of advices of what THEY think you should do and make you know that you are wrong if you are not " in line" with their way of thinking. I guess part of the process for us is to find out for ourselves what we need and what we do not need. And for me it has taken a lot of time, and I guess I am still in that process. The good thing is that God knows what we need, and even if we do not know it ourselves, it has been taking me a long time to come to the point where I can relax to sort thing out for myself, without the toxicing thoughts from an abusive system. I wish you all well. THinking about you. :-) :)

[Hope 98]

I feel kind of the same. Asking people for help within the church-system
often ends up with a lot of advices of what THEY think you should do and make you know that you are wrong if you are not " in line" with their way of thinking. I guess part of the process for us is to find out for ourselves what we need and what we do not need. And for me it has taken a lot of time, and I guess I am still in that process. The good thing is that God knows what we need, and even if we do not know it ourselves, it has been taking me a long time to come to the point where I can relax to sort thing out for myself, without the toxicing thoughts from an abusive system. I wish you all well. THinking about you. :-) :)

Thanks for posting and for thinking :)

Hope the rest of your day is peaceful.

[riverdove]

I know for many Easters, it's always been a dread for me especially when church going relatives revolve their conversations around church attendance, involvement and etc. While we love to be reminded about the real meaning of Easter, the church involvement part is still a sensitive area for me. We're still attending churches, but when they start to ask for more involvement, I cringe at the thought of "belonging" to a church again. So, I can relate to people here who feel the same way during this very special and dear holiday. I know it's been a conflict for me as well ....

In any case, today, after church, we decided to do something different for Easter. We invited some street people for lunch at a close by restaurant. My family and I were a little nervous how it would turn out, but it turned out that the restaurant was friendly to them which we were really surprised, but very pleased. We also got a chance to talk to them and were happy to see them enjoying the meal. The waitress gave me a hug and kept thanking us for bringing them in there to eat. Anyway, after we left the restaurant, I have been thinking ... that it's rather ironic that we and the homless have so much in common. Here we are, we are homeless from having a church home and they're homeless from not having a home to live in. Jesus can relate to the sadness of homelessness all too well when He said in Matthew 8:20, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Yet, the promise to all those who who are in Him, He said in John 14:2, "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." This is indeed a very comforting thought for me this Easter to discover the kind of sadness Jesus went through in order to redeem my own sadness. Happy Resurrection Day to all of you!

[ex-shep]

God bless you ex-shep for your concern and your virtual coffee pot.

Praying for a stability that seems to have eluded you for so long, a job that you can feel good about, adequate finances, support and peace.

Easter is OK for me. Life in general has been wearing me down. I'm not at church or with family or friends because I just can put on the smile and optimism. I can't figure out just what might provide the right source of energy I need to recharge.

Some might be willing to help if I could tell them what I need, but I can't ask when I don't really know.

I'm still very cautious about asking a lot of folks for help, because so often in my past, I've received judgment and "discipline" instead of compassion and assistance. The fear fills in where fatigue leaves spaces. I'm not sure how to pull out & up.

Guess I needed to let this out somewhere. Thanks for making it feel safe to do.

I have been able to take lemons and make lemon ade. I am delighted Bambi turned our lives upside down.

Asking for help is tricky indeed, especially when one considers how few people have a working knowledge of spiritual abuse. One thing that has always been a slam dunk for me is that my higher power has always provided everything I need to recover. Sometimes I get the answers I need and not realized I asked for help until I get the answers.

[ex-shep]

I have actually been having a hard Easter, and it was really nice to see this thread here on the forum. I have not been on this Forum for many months, but now and then things of the past arise in me. Easter has been a time when I have been thinking about Jesus, and has been really sad because I kind of have missed part of the fellowship-feeling, and then a part of me did not missed it at all. I also react when I see Christian putting on Facebook things like “Jesus is risen” and so on because of Easter. I guess that I am still not over the spiritual abuse-part.


That I can relate. There is an embittered sense of after all my group has put me through, you have the gall to wish me a Happy Easter. Of course all of us realize that it is sour grapes at its best. Still the anxiety is most understandable.

[Minni]

That I can relate. There is an embittered sense of after all my group has put me through, you have the gall to wish me a Happy Easter. Of course all of us realize that it is sour grapes at its best. Still the anxiety is most understandable.

Thanks. But why do I react the way I do? Like when people put up news on their facebook page about Jesus, it just makes me sick. Maybe it is because I used to do that before when I was in the system to change others, and use every opportunity to evangelizing. I could not let people be where they were, like the abusive church can not let people be where they are. ANyone else who gets an reaction when they see these kinds of statements?

[Minni]

I know for many Easters, it's always been a dread for me especially when church going relatives revolve their conversations around church attendance, involvement and etc. While we love to be reminded about the real meaning of Easter, the church involvement part is still a sensitive area for me. We're still attending churches, but when they start to ask for more involvement, I cringe at the thought of "belonging" to a church again. So, I can relate to people here who feel the same way during this very special and dear holiday. I know it's been a conflict for me as well ....

In any case, today, after church, we decided to do something different for Easter. We invited some street people for lunch at a close by restaurant. My family and I were a little nervous how it would turn out, but it turned out that the restaurant was friendly to them which we were really surprised, but very pleased. We also got a chance to talk to them and were happy to see them enjoying the meal. The waitress gave me a hug and kept thanking us for bringing them in there to eat. Anyway, after we left the restaurant, I have been thinking ... that it's rather ironic that we and the homless have so much in common. Here we are, we are homeless from having a church home and they're homeless from not having a home to live in. Jesus can relate to the sadness of homelessness all too well when He said in Matthew 8:20, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Yet, the promise to all those who who are in Him, He said in John 14:2, "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." This is indeed a very comforting thought for me this Easter to discover the kind of sadness Jesus went through in order to redeem my own sadness. Happy Resurrection Day to all of you!

This is exactly how I feel this Easter: Homeless....
The true meaning of Easter is great. But even when I try to listen to worship music I get sort of twisted inside. I try to praise Him, but is unable to sing the church-songs. So I just sat down thinking about Easter and had my own little conversation with the Lord about the pain and thankful for the sacrifice He made. I guess Jesus felt homeless too when He came to this earth. It is a solitude journey....

[Minni]

Thanks for posting and for thinking :)

Hope the rest of your day is peaceful.

Thank you so much, and the same wishes to you too!:)

[Gayle]

Thanks. But why do I react the way I do? Like when people put up news on their facebook page about Jesus, it just makes me sick. Maybe it is because I used to do that before when I was in the system to change others, and use every opportunity to evangelizing. I could not let people be where they were, like the abusive church can not let people be where they are. ANyone else who gets an reaction when they see these kinds of statements?

yup, me too. Is it suppose to be this way?

[Reg]

For those who couldn't attend Easter Services, here is the sermon our Senior Pastor gave for those who may want to here it. It was about as pure a message I have ever heard of the Gospel.

It was a very inspiring service with the choir singing a series of songs before the main message and in between quotes from the book of John.

April 4
EASTER - I Will Rise 1 Corinthians 15:21-26
Dr. Tom Finch | Listen Now | Podcast

April 4 (It says Good Friday in error)
http://bramalea.org/about/messages.php

[ex-shep]

yup, me too. Is it suppose to be this way?


You may want to stay clear of my FB page lest anyone gets triggered. In all seriousness I went through the same myself. After such abuse one develops almost an allergy to anything remotely evangelical. It is almost a defense mechanism. It does fade with time. Once burned twice shy.

I have no pat answers. I left a church which I would reccomend to anyone because of the old tapes. What did work was finding what did not trigger me and start with that first. I found Christian radio programmes which felt safe to me. With the internet, I could check services before I went to visit.

One church that Shelly and I joined was entitled "How the Bills Get Paid". It was the Sunday of the annual business meeting. The pastor provided reasons why one may not want to vote for the budget. He contrasted reason why he would vote yes. He then threw the ball back to the congregation for them to decide, reflect and pray. The budget did pass by a 70-30 percent margin. No mind control there.

Again no easy answers. It just took time to recover and to let the tapes fade. One day the Lord tapped me on the shoulder and told me the water was fine. So far so good. Again each person's journey is different, so take what you want and leave the rest.

[ex-shep]

For those who couldn't attend Easter Services, here is the sermon our Senior Pastor gave for those who may want to here it. It was about as pure a message I have ever heard of the Gospel.

It was a very inspiring service with the choir singing a series of songs before the main message and in between quotes from the book of John.

April 4
EASTER - I Will Rise 1 Corinthians 15:21-26
Dr. Tom Finch | Listen Now | Podcast

April 4 (It says Good Friday in error)
http://bramalea.org/about/messages.php

I have listened to some of the Bramlea feeds before. They are good.

[Minni]

You may want to stay clear of my FB page lest anyone gets triggered. In all seriousness I went through the same myself. After such abuse one develops almost an allergy to anything remotely evangelical. It is almost a defense mechanism. It does fade with time. Once burned twice shy.

I have no pat answers. I left a church which I would reccomend to anyone because of the old tapes. What did work was finding what did not trigger me and start with that first. I found Christian radio programmes which felt safe to me. With the internet, I could check services before I went to visit.

One church that Shelly and I joined was entitled "How the Bills Get Paid". It was the Sunday of the annual business meeting. The pastor provided reasons why one may not want to vote for the budget. He contrasted reason why he would vote yes. He then threw the ball back to the congregation for them to decide, reflect and pray. The budget did pass by a 70-30 percent margin. No mind control there.

Again no easy answers. It just took time to recover and to let the tapes fade. One day the Lord tapped me on the shoulder and told me the water was fine. So far so good. Again each person's journey is different, so take what you want and leave the rest.

The interesting thing is that we are learned to evangelize under all cirkomstances. At least I was. In the church they taught us that we were bold for Christ if we ALWAYS put up the flag and tell everyone who wonderful Christ is and so on. So when I experieneced the abuse, and left the church three years ago, I actually did the same thing on my Facebook page, BUT just the opposite message. I kind of had to rebell so that my so called relgious friends could get the message that I do not longer want to be one of them. After these years, I do not have the need for that anymore, and has actually taken off every political and relgious views on my FB site.
I do not have the same reason or need to rebell. But I still react when people has a need to tell how wonderful Jesus is or what they do in church on FB.
I thought that I would be over that by now, since it is three years ago.

Sometimes I feel so schizophrenic. Like I am a non-Christian one day and a Christian another day. And I think more like my none-Christian friends now than I used before, and kind of see things more from the perspective of the world, which is freeing, at the same time I have more and more doubts about Christianity...

[ex-shep]

The interesting thing is that we are learned to evangelize under all cirkomstances. At least I was. In the church they taught us that we were bold for Christ if we ALWAYS put up the flag and tell everyone who wonderful Christ is and so on. So when I experieneced the abuse, and left the church three years ago, I actually did the same thing on my Facebook page, BUT just the opposite message. I kind of had to rebell so that my so called relgious friends could get the message that I do not longer want to be one of them. After these years, I do not have the need for that anymore, and has actually taken off every political and relgious views on my FB site.
I do not have the same reason or need to rebell. But I still react when people has a need to tell how wonderful Jesus is or what they do in church on FB.
I thought that I would be over that by now, since it is three years ago.

Sometimes I feel so schizophrenic. Like I am a non-Christian one day and a Christian another day. And I think more like my none-Christian friends now than I used before, and kind of see things more from the perspective of the world, which is freeing, at the same time I have more and more doubts about Christianity...

I went back to the Unitarianism that I grew up with after I left my groups. I go through the anti Christian phase myself. I read the skeptic and Free Inquiry. I will give the editors credit. There were good at showing out the farcical side of evangelicals. Sometimes they had good advice we may should have heeded. For me being an accidental collaction of atoms did not do it for me.

I was at the same point at the three year mark of my recovery. I could listen to Joni and Friends and the Bible Answerman. At least I was hearing the scriptures in context. That helped me undo the tapes a bit. It was freeing to open up my social contacts. Joni always managed to interject some geniune comfort. It would still take a few years. I developed relationship in my 12 step groups and my hobbies. As a point of reference I remember a rail fan who was also a Fundalmentalist. He had his convictions but he also had a sense of balance between his church and his hobby. He never preached in the club meetings, but I am sure he would have the answer in his heart of the hope that is in heart IF the occasion arose and not if he forced it. There was a healthy sense of balance.

If one reads my FB page, there are the evangelical messages. There are debates. There are quite a few liberals on the page. All I ask is a little common sense respect. I have blocked a few kooks and one friend for using expletives in opposition to a politician. There is fellowship, some blogs, and good clean wholesome family fun in the mix. I do share my faith, just not in every post.

Even the gospels record that Jesus rested. One can infer there were times he hung out the do not disturb sign.

[Minni]

I went back to the Unitarianism that I grew up with after I left my groups. I go through the anti Christian phase myself. I read the skeptic and Free Inquiry. I will give the editors credit. There were good at showing out the farcical side of evangelicals. Sometimes they had good advice we may should have heeded. For me being an accidental collaction of atoms did not do it for me.

I was at the same point at the three year mark of my recovery. I could listen to Joni and Friends and the Bible Answerman. At least I was hearing the scriptures in context. That helped me undo the tapes a bit. It was freeing to open up my social contacts. Joni always managed to interject some geniune comfort. It would still take a few years. I developed relationship in my 12 step groups and my hobbies. As a point of reference I remember a rail fan who was also a Fundalmentalist. He had his convictions but he also had a sense of balance between his church and his hobby. He never preached in the club meetings, but I am sure he would have the answer in his heart of the hope that is in heart IF the occasion arose and not if he forced it. There was a healthy sense of balance.

If one reads my FB page, there are the evangelical messages. There are debates. There are quite a few liberals on the page. All I ask is a little common sense respect. I have blocked a few kooks and one friend for using expletives in opposition to a politician. There is fellowship, some blogs, and good clean wholesome family fun in the mix. I do share my faith, just not in every post.

Even the gospels record that Jesus rested. One can infer there were times he hung out the do not disturb sign.

I think actually I have read about Unitarism, and I like what I read. I especially like the part that there is hope beyond hell, that hell is not forever and that all man will be saved because of Jesus. Isn't that some of it? I am from Norway so I do not understand everything. What is "the skeptic and Free Inquiry". And where can I read it? The Bibleanswer-man, is that Hank Hanegraaf? I have read some good books about counterfeit revival that he wrote. I also have found www.thegodjourney.com and www.lifestream.org as very refreshing and out-of-the-box way of thinking. Who is Joni and friends? Is that the woman who had this accident? Being a Norwegian I am not fully up-dated of what goes on in the States. Here in our contry,Christian litterature stinks.....

[Minni]

I think actually I have read about Unitarism, and I like what I read. I especially like the part that there is hope beyond hell, that hell is not forever and that all man will be saved because of Jesus. Isn't that some of it? I am from Norway so I do not understand everything. What is "the skeptic and Free Inquiry". And where can I read it? The Bibleanswer-man, is that Hank Hanegraaf? I have read some good books about counterfeit revival that he wrote. I also have found www.thegodjourney.com and www.lifestream.org as very refreshing and out-of-the-box way of thinking. Who is Joni and friends? Is that the woman who had this accident? Being a Norwegian I am not fully up-dated of what goes on in the States. Here in our contry,Christian litterature stinks.....

By the way, you said that you had the same reacions that I have had after three years of recovery. I guess it takes time, but it also is good to know that it takes time for others as well....:)