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Ellen
03-28-2010, 07:52 PM
My church has started a new program of sorts and asked folks to fill out a questionaire today. We didn't have to turn it in - it was a spiritual life assessment to show us where we are spiritually and then we are supposed to think about the results and pray about the ways that God might be calling us to grow.

The assessment had questions about how connected we are to God - through worship, prayer, Bible reading/study; questions about our relationship with God and questions about our service. We were supposed to rate each of the statements on a scale of 1 - 5 and then chart our score. There was really no option for answers outside of the the 1-5 scale, but I found myself writing short answers instead of putting in a number.

For most questions, I wrote "Not any more." Those were the questions about how much I pray, read scripture, and worship. Questions about service, I wrote, "I'm not allowed" for any that pertained to service in the church.

At the end of the questions, there was space to write in paragraph form what we ascertained from the assessment and how we felt God was calling us to respond. Basically, I wrote that my experience tells me that "many are called, few are chosen, and some of us are only tolerated" - that this has been my experience with the God who dwells in Christians. He tolerates me because he is obligated to do so, but He has made it clear that I am "unclean!, unclean!" and that I am unwanted, unnecessary, undesireable, etc.

In the area of service, I wrote that since my own pastor won't speak to me without a witness, I can't imagine anyone else being willing or able to serve with me or to be a recipient of any ministrations offered by me.

There was a question about my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers and I wrote honestly that I have great relationships with everyone in my life except Christians - that I am the favorite person in my family (the only one no one ever fights with), have wonderful friends, and am well respected and esteemed by my colleagues.

I found myself in tears as I answered the questions - realizing just how wounded I am still and how hope-less. I have learned to put on a good front and pretend that I am happy and have moved on, but answering those questions made me realize anew that the thing I hold most precious has gone dark.

Ellen

ex-shep
03-28-2010, 10:50 PM
If the pastor thinks you are unclean, he needs to remedial classes in homilectics and pastoral counseling. If we are all sinners, then were are all in the same boat. I am sure Jesus would have a field day with him as he did the Pharisees for their legalistic hypocracy. I must confess to a truck load of anger hearing of such an insensitive attack.

One basic rule in recovery is that we deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Of course you have to do what is right for you. My inclination is to pack up and find somewhere to worship and serve the Lord.

kodee
03-28-2010, 11:28 PM
Ellen,

I can so relate to everything you said, I feel the same way and is the reason I have stopped going to church all together. I don't need people like that to follow him. I seem to be doing okay the way I am. Ex-shep is right, Jesus would and is going to have a field day with the like's of them, Sadly there are alot of "Christians" who are like that. The real Body of Christ are people like you and me and the others here on this forum who love Jesus and don't judge others by what we wear or what kind of life we have lived or what part of town we live in. I think you are on the right path.

ex-shep
03-29-2010, 01:53 AM
Ellen,

I can so relate to everything you said, I feel the same way and is the reason I have stopped going to church all together. I don't need people like that to follow him. I seem to be doing okay the way I am. Ex-shep is right, Jesus would and is going to have a field day with the like's of them, Sadly there are alot of "Christians" who are like that. The real Body of Christ are people like you and me and the others here on this forum who love Jesus and don't judge others by what we wear or what kind of life we have lived or what part of town we live in. I think you are on the right path.


Words well spoken. Next latte on me.

Jerry
03-29-2010, 06:33 AM
There was a question about my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers and I wrote honestly that I have great relationships with everyone in my life except Christians - that I am the favorite person in my family (the only one no one ever fights with), have wonderful friends, and am well respected and esteemed by my colleagues.

Dear Ellen,,,,
Wow what a wonderful blessing !! You are obviously touching lives for God in ways you can't even imagine .....I get a kick out of these so called "Christians" who endeavor to measure "Faith" as if it came out of a gas-pump or something.......Faith is something we either have or we don't......When I am under a lot of stress in my life,I get feelings of faithlessness......When everything is going well ,,,,,I have a soaring boundless faith and everything is right with God....Could it be,,,,that I have come to understand the terms of my existence ?????,,,,,,,,,,,,Human ;) God understands the terms of His existence,thats why He sends so many wonderful people into my lifes path to help me when I stumble ;)

Love Jerry

Honeybee12
03-29-2010, 01:54 PM
Ellen,

I've experienced similar emotions you expressed in this post. I've gone through feelings of utter loss for words about my faith.. speechless. I've felt totally despondent and hopeless about fellowship with God. My experience with many believers was painful and cold.. sometimes spirit-crushing.

I'm so glad you feel free enough to express your heart here!!... I am so glad no one is telling you what to do! I'm encouraged by your honesty.. that's one thing we lack the courage to be..

I'd encourage you to continue being real, raw and honest. It's awesome.

-Honeybee12

ex-shep
03-29-2010, 10:20 PM
Ellen,

I've experienced similar emotions you expressed in this post. I've gone through feelings of utter loss for words about my faith.. speechless. I've felt totally despondent and hopeless about fellowship with God. My experience with many believers was painful and cold.. sometimes spirit-crushing.

I'm so glad you feel free enough to express your heart here!!... I am so glad no one is telling you what to do! I'm encouraged by your honesty.. that's one thing we lack the courage to be..

I'd encourage you to continue being real, raw and honest. It's awesome.

-Honeybee12

Funny you posted. I went through a brief spell of it myself last week.
The forum is a safe place to share. Keep on posting.

broken_hearted_sheep
03-31-2010, 01:01 PM
Our gifts are usually very unattractive to those who covet them or are intimidated by them. I say that not to have you think arrogantly about what special gift you have been given, but to realize...it's not always you...a lot of the time its them!

Take time and listen to God's voice...you are HIS sheep and you know HIS voice...just follow where he leads! Be encouraged!

Lori
04-05-2010, 12:23 PM
Oh Ellen, my heart breaks for you! I have also felt the same way! Cliques in churches are so painful. I will pray you can continue to hear God's voice for yourself. Something I am still in the process of learning how to do. God has given you gifts and talents to be used for HIS glory, not theirs.

Blessings,
Lori

Minni
04-06-2010, 08:06 AM
My church has started a new program

There was a question about my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers and I wrote honestly that I have great relationships with everyone in my life except Christians - that I am the favorite person in my family (the only one no one ever fights with), have wonderful friends, and am well respected and esteemed by my colleagues.


Ellen

When I read Ellens words I feel that someone is going to sufficate me. It is like a church-system is having their hands around my throat and neck, and tells me to "do it our way or do not bother!" I got so angry when I read this, and they just start new programs over and over and over because the old one dosen't work. When are these people going to ever understand that it is relationship it is all about, and you cannot rate your spiritual life from 1-5!

If I should choose any friends, I would choose you, Ellen. You seemt to have wonderful skills in communicating and relationships and being a friends. If you struggle with Christians, it is not you who have the problem, it is THEM. (Although they would never admitt it.)

My heart goes out to you, and I respect you very much for being so open, humble and sharing.
Lots of love from Minni in Norway