ex-shep
03-22-2010, 11:57 PM
I need to get this out my system before I permanently loose my faculties. I doubt I will, but it feels like it. I have enough Al Anon in me to know when it is time to detach. I did have to pull the plug on the situation with Bambi. The withdrawal came fast and hard, but it beats denial hands down. I still need to vent and process some loose ends in this bizarre caper.
For those new to forum, Bambi Paderewski, was a former co worker who gave given Shelly and I fits. She was extremely terrified of me to the point of disruption. My attempts to report the incident backfired with my former employer accusing me of stalking. The nuttiness continued on after I left the former employer for several months on “Buddy.net”. I was getting suggestions to be a buddy and even a buddy request. Shelly was having the same on her buddy page. Bambi would take her buddy page down and bring it back up again. We were not sure what to make of it. Finally it occurred to me that her fiancé was not going appreciate the on line infidelity. That comment to Bambi finally stopped her cold and she disappeared permanently from the Buddy Pages.
Not being to get to our church because of weather, work schedules, and the cost of travel, and the fact that finances were tight because a cut in hours and Shelly not able to find work, we looked for a close by church. We were invited to both an AA meeting and a church both on Sunday mornings fifteen miles away. What we did not count on was being in the home parish of Stanislaus Kubelík and his family. Stan is Bambi’s fiancé. The church is large enough that we simply do not run into each other. Bambi came in one service and left. We were too busy enjoying the music and liturgy to notice. I made a mental note of it and continued worshipping. It was ancient history by the time of the recessional hymn.
What is disturbing is the cult relationship Bambi has with her fiancé. We had a brief friendship with Stan’s sister Magdalena whose life had literally crashed about her. Her professional career was dashed by illness, job loss and homelessness. To add to her situation was two cult situations. Her ex husband who has her daughter is a member of a well known door knocking group. That has been a strain. Her brother has been verbally abusive and shaming. It is her fault that she is in the predicament she is in. Stan has been known to fly into a rage to anyone who gets in his way. Stan is overly protective of his sister and has no problem taking her verbally apart limb by limb. I was horrified that she received an email calling her stupid. Shelly and I did have an opportunity to be friends with Magdalena. She appreciated the outreach. Things were fine until Stan got wind of it, then the friendship was over. I cannot help but see the cult dynamic is the only reality is the group itself, with Stan being the group.
One day last spring when I was still at my former employer, I got from my desk to stretch. I saw Bambi with a big mark on her face. I knew somebody had hit her. Bambi saw me. She knew that I saw the bruise on her left cheek. Tears started to well up in her. She ran into the Ladies Room. Talking to Maggie and looking back on it, I was starting to wonder who hit Bambi. The question which then arose was would Bambi and her children be safe around Stan. Maggie expressed reservations about the wedding. The upcoming event has been an incredible strain for her. I was never able to get a fix on just why.
An inner city pastor once made the comment that in the suburbs, sin happens behind closed doors. The Paderewski family has been rocked by years of real estate fraud culminating in prison time. The duplicity and deciet has been heart breaking. The Kubelík clan is determined to keep a front about things and keep things covered up. Maggie and Bambi could be injured pawns for life outside of divine intervention.
Obviously there is nothing I can do. Anything I do will only added water to a gasoline fire. I had to pull the plug on this. The post Paderewski world is weird and eerily quiet. I feel like I had walked out my groups all over again. The potential cult dynamics are too close to home for my taste. Life will go on. I will recover from this. I must move on. My recovery and serenity depends on it. Still the thing which I am the most powerless is the impression that if Bambi goes down the aisle, I and many St Charles College alums may also end up attending her funeral.
For those new to forum, Bambi Paderewski, was a former co worker who gave given Shelly and I fits. She was extremely terrified of me to the point of disruption. My attempts to report the incident backfired with my former employer accusing me of stalking. The nuttiness continued on after I left the former employer for several months on “Buddy.net”. I was getting suggestions to be a buddy and even a buddy request. Shelly was having the same on her buddy page. Bambi would take her buddy page down and bring it back up again. We were not sure what to make of it. Finally it occurred to me that her fiancé was not going appreciate the on line infidelity. That comment to Bambi finally stopped her cold and she disappeared permanently from the Buddy Pages.
Not being to get to our church because of weather, work schedules, and the cost of travel, and the fact that finances were tight because a cut in hours and Shelly not able to find work, we looked for a close by church. We were invited to both an AA meeting and a church both on Sunday mornings fifteen miles away. What we did not count on was being in the home parish of Stanislaus Kubelík and his family. Stan is Bambi’s fiancé. The church is large enough that we simply do not run into each other. Bambi came in one service and left. We were too busy enjoying the music and liturgy to notice. I made a mental note of it and continued worshipping. It was ancient history by the time of the recessional hymn.
What is disturbing is the cult relationship Bambi has with her fiancé. We had a brief friendship with Stan’s sister Magdalena whose life had literally crashed about her. Her professional career was dashed by illness, job loss and homelessness. To add to her situation was two cult situations. Her ex husband who has her daughter is a member of a well known door knocking group. That has been a strain. Her brother has been verbally abusive and shaming. It is her fault that she is in the predicament she is in. Stan has been known to fly into a rage to anyone who gets in his way. Stan is overly protective of his sister and has no problem taking her verbally apart limb by limb. I was horrified that she received an email calling her stupid. Shelly and I did have an opportunity to be friends with Magdalena. She appreciated the outreach. Things were fine until Stan got wind of it, then the friendship was over. I cannot help but see the cult dynamic is the only reality is the group itself, with Stan being the group.
One day last spring when I was still at my former employer, I got from my desk to stretch. I saw Bambi with a big mark on her face. I knew somebody had hit her. Bambi saw me. She knew that I saw the bruise on her left cheek. Tears started to well up in her. She ran into the Ladies Room. Talking to Maggie and looking back on it, I was starting to wonder who hit Bambi. The question which then arose was would Bambi and her children be safe around Stan. Maggie expressed reservations about the wedding. The upcoming event has been an incredible strain for her. I was never able to get a fix on just why.
An inner city pastor once made the comment that in the suburbs, sin happens behind closed doors. The Paderewski family has been rocked by years of real estate fraud culminating in prison time. The duplicity and deciet has been heart breaking. The Kubelík clan is determined to keep a front about things and keep things covered up. Maggie and Bambi could be injured pawns for life outside of divine intervention.
Obviously there is nothing I can do. Anything I do will only added water to a gasoline fire. I had to pull the plug on this. The post Paderewski world is weird and eerily quiet. I feel like I had walked out my groups all over again. The potential cult dynamics are too close to home for my taste. Life will go on. I will recover from this. I must move on. My recovery and serenity depends on it. Still the thing which I am the most powerless is the impression that if Bambi goes down the aisle, I and many St Charles College alums may also end up attending her funeral.