Should I try?

[BeautifulMess]

I have been working so much and I'm always at college and i really haven't had time to sit and evaluate where I am in my life. But last night I finished all of my homework early and I had a few minutes to relax.

In that time I realized how numb I feel towards everything. Work and school has distracted me, for the most part, from everything that happened.

But the problem is that I feel so angry towards the church and so numb towards GOD that i think it's starting to become a problem. I don't want to turn from GOD but I feel like that's what's happening. I feel like I just don't care about anything anymore, even school and my major are becoming pointless to me.

I know it's not about what the church did to me, I feel I've moved past that whole thing. But what happened was so traumatic to me it changed me drastically. I actually have comparison personality tests from before and after the ordeal that showed that my personality has severely changed.

I feel like a totally different person. Mostly in a good way but I feel like I'm having to rediscover who I am.

My question is: Should I try and go to another church right now? I feel like thats the only way I can get out of this funk I'm in. Although I don't want to do it an I wont like it at least I'll be doing SOMETHING. I really don't know what to do or how to feel. I need some advice.

[Jerry]

I actually have comparison personality tests from before and after the ordeal that showed that my personality has severely changed.

Dear BeautifulMess,,,
I suspect that you are a student in the "Mental Health Field" and would caution you about self administered personality tests,,,,,especially MMPI's....When we study "Abnormal Psychology" there is a stage where we tend to recognize,and focus on, abnormalities in ourselves causing us to misinterpret personality test results ,,,,,,especially our own ! The point is that we are all a bit paranoid,a bit narcissistic,a bit skitzo,at times passive/aggressive and so on and so on.......The question is ,,,Do these elements of personality fall "Outside" the normal range ???? Sweetheart on reading the rest of your post,you sound pretty darn normal to me ;) We all suffer identity crisis at some point in our lives,it's part of being human.....

When my son graduated "High School" I asked him what he was going to do.He replied "Well Dad ,,,,first I got to figure out who I am..." I said,,,,,"Try takin a look at your "Drivers License" :D

P.S.Thought of another one,,,While I was in "REHAB" the psychologist had me in his office and administered a "Rorschach" (inkblot test).....When I was done describing the "inkblots" He said,,,,,"Mr.Green you seem to find something sexual in each example I showed you ???" I replied,,,,,"Whataya blamin me for ????YOUR the one with the dirty pictures!!!!!" :D




Love Jerry

[BeautifulMess]

Thank you for your reply.

Yes the school I am attending requires personality tests for a lot of the classes and programs so I am constantly exposed to it.

Maybe it is just an Identity crisis. I really wish it was finished and I could move on.

Thanks again for your post and I will try to be more careful in the future :)