Is this their way of getting rid of me?

[~AbuseNoMore~]

Hi, I don't want to whine too much, but...this has really been bugging me.

I started visiting a church, I'm still not so sure I would ever fit in, but...

I eventually filled out a visitor card and put my PRAYER REQUEST (they had a section for that).....for more strength cuz I have so much to do (I just moved here, bought an house, etc). I am semi-retired, on social security disability.

So I get a letter that said the thankyou for visiting bit and then it says: We will be praying for you as you look for somewhere else to move (or something like that) and a job. (I'm on social security).

Is that their way of trying to get rid of me cuz I just don't fit in?

I have felt some love and acceptance from some people but I wonder if it is genuine or not. I get alot of strange looks and stares while just sitting there. Maybe cuz I'm a divorced single mom, that might be it...people don't like that...even tho I had biblically allowed reasons to do that.

Only one person ever, has said to me "it's good to see you back again at our church" and they are paid staff.

A couple weeks ago I was standing up front (they tell us to go stand up front alot) and someone was trying to get me to dance, I have severe back problems.....I did not want to dance.

On a side note: they had this dinner sign up, where people meet at other's homes and you get to know poeple. You sign up and they call you. I'm still waiting for the call, this is my way of testing them...if the don't call, then they don't really want me there.

The event is next weekend and still no call, my name has been on the list now for two weeks.

Quite simple, actually.

I am not a rocket scientist, but it is not that difficult.

I asked someone there if there is anything for the single parents...a group or anything, "No, we just all blend in together"

"Ok" I said.

In most church's, the single parents are on the end of everyone's list, if they are on there to beging with at all....

I dunno, I am whining I know.

Just so tired of the HYPOCRISY that's all.

[Jerry]

Dear AbuseNoMore,,,
Boy can I identify with your post....I too am on SSI.I am a divorced male ........See being on SSI telegraphs to them that you have limited funds(it's always about the money)....Being "divorced" makes you a "Second Class" Christian ,,,,,not because you are but because they are "Biblicaly Ignorant" .....It's true,God doesn't like "divorce" but last time I checked "Divorce" is not the "Unforgivable" sin either .......They should be very careful how they judge divorce,,,,,,God ,,,Himself is Divorced,,,,would they purpose to judge God ?????I think one must be very careful about that ;) Sounds like you got yourself into a nest of "Moral Busybodies" I'll close with a quote from Hamlet,,,,,"Angels and ministers of grace defend us !!!! :D

Welcome,,,,,,,Love Jerry

[~AbuseNoMore~]

Oh ok, yeah.

I guess they would treat me better if I stayed with the ex who got married to someone else while they were married to me?

Oh, I never thought of it THAT way, that God was divorced (He divorced Israel for awhile)....

:D

Yeah, I get no child support (one child) and I'm on SSDI.

I guess we don't have alot to offer them.

:(

I'm going to have to keep this in prayer, I don't do very well with rejection.

thankyou Jerry.

Dear AbuseNoMore,,,
Boy can I identify with your post....I too am on SSI.I am a divorced male ........See being on SSI telegraphs to them that you have limited funds(it's always about the money)....Being "divorced" makes you a "Second Class" Christian ,,,,,not because you are but because they are "Biblicaly Ignorant" .....It's true,God doesn't like "divorce" but last time I checked "Divorce" is not the "Unforgivable" sin either .......They should be very careful how they judge divorce,,,,,,God ,,,Himself is Divorced,,,,would they purpose to judge God ?????I think one must be very careful about that ;) Sounds like you got yourself into a nest of "Moral Busybodies" I'll close with a quote from Hamlet,,,,,"Angels and ministers of grace defend us !!!! :D

Welcome,,,,,,,Love Jerry

[~AbuseNoMore~]

I get tired of never measuring up.

Seems to be the story of my life.

[abbey]

geez, Id hit the road! I dont tell any member of my new church anything personal. Been there, it doesnt work.

Personally, Ive had more let downs by Christians than the wicked. Id find a different church.One that has groups and stuff.

metimes PPl just want to appear socially and spiritually strong. Its a cover-up. My faith in man-kind just dropped 20 notches due to a christin.

[abbey]

BTW, I like your style. You appear a bit humourous over this situation. Don take it seriously, I LIke that!:)

[Jacobkansas]

Yeah, hopefully they misread the visitor card and by mistake hadn't meant to be that way, but all too often I have seen churches drive off the "undesirable." They have lost their way from what God would want them to do. I am sorry to hear you have had such a bad experience with the church. For the member Abby who wrote that she has seen more help from the wicked than the saved...that is sad but true statement to say the least. I was applying for a Highway Patrol job for the state of Missouri and my Bible College (IFB pinheads) told them I was asked to leave from the college. When I left their I did so without being asked to leave. They lied about me to the background investigator and caused a lot of trouble. When I called to ask them about it they said you have to talk to so and so.. :( Stick in there my sisters and brothers..these people don't represent our Lord at all. Hope you are doing well today.

[hoipoloi]

It is many months since I posted here so the more experienced people will probably disagree with me. If so, take notice of them, not me.

It is my experience that when someone is spiritually abused it is ALWAYS the church's fault, not the victim's.

If your experience of a church is bad then my advice is:

Leave at once, without rancour, and move on. Shake the dust from your feet. Forget. Try another church.

Easy to say, difficult to do usually.

Just my opinion, could be wrong, but:

The fault is NOT yours.

[Jerry]

It is many months since I posted here so the more experienced people will probably disagree with me. If so, take notice of them, not me.

It is my experience that when someone is spiritually abused it is ALWAYS the church's fault, not the victim's.

If your experience of a church is bad then my advice is:

Leave at once, without rancour, and move on. Shake the dust from your feet. Forget. Try another church.

Easy to say, difficult to do usually.

Just my opinion, could be wrong, but:

The fault is NOT yours.

Good advice ;)

[chrismed]

AbuseNoMore,
Funny, I had to edit some of my resentment of church out of here, it wasn't right... so....

I sure can realate...As I continue in recovery from shame and addictions, it's causing a distaste and intolerance for church, which I've realized I need to look at in myself. I'll need to inventory and adjust my expectations and attitude over time. I'm not going to sit in a church that is perfectionistic and shaming, but with kids I can't just keep moving. So we make the best of it, this way. A "megachurch" works the best for us right now, because they're so huge, there are good classes and groups for our kids, and us, if we find the pastor is in a shame or perfection series. We go to the 12 step meeting and skip the sermons usually.

Megachurches do have their advantages, like someone below said, lots of groups you can try, and find the grace and love you're probably looking for. And some of them have good teaching. Interesting to think about, but I think that's what early churches really were, communities of support and worship. I was a single dad for a couple years. It's not easy. Sorry for your pains, and I hope it gets easier really soon.

All the best.

[chrismed]

To your question: I'm just hoping it's not that they would knowingly ignore you...I wonder if they don't know how to show it, or may just be disorganized?Could you call the office and say "why haven't I been called?". Is there real love and connection there, or people just acting and "doing church"? Just things I've noticed in my experiences.