No weapon formed...

[Gary]

Hi all !
God's word says no weapon formed against us shall prosper--but at times it
I must admit it's much easier to get my mind around that statement than it is to get my heart and faith around it.
Guess I need to vent a little.For several years I pastored a circuit of 3 small
very rural churches.Before that I spent 3 years doing jeuvenile prison ministry.
I resigned as a pastor in my denomination because of certain matters regarding property,polity,and the way the denomination was treating the members of the churches I pastored.I dared to ask some rather piercing questions to my denominational "bosses",and based upon that,and much prayer-I decided to serve God rather than man.It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.
In the months that followed though,I found my pain ministered to by the Lord as he led me to go back to the basics.I wrote a little spiritual growth book based on the serenity prayer-and that was just what I needed.
Although I've been renewed and revived by many things since then(2+yrs.ago)
I still am hurt by the pastor of my local church,where my family have been members for ages.When I first resigned as a pastor,my family and I returned there,but this church is one of the denomination that I resigned.We were welcomed back by the people,but the pastor,probably under "orders"has
shunned,ignored,insulted,and generally frozen me out of any meaningful fellowship in the church.At first I thought of just going somewhere else,but
where ever we went my wife and daughter found fault with something-anything,
about the churches.They continue to go to our home church,as the "wrath" isn't directed at them.I'm currently not regularly attending anywhere,occasionally I've preached revivals,or homecomings.And I'm working on a new book--but I must say
I'm hurting over all this--and would appreciate your prayers.I know the Lord has plans for me;plans to prosper and not to harm-plans for my future and my hope,
but discerning his will is hard during times such as these for me.OK-Enough venting.
Yours in Christ,
Gary

[Janice]

Gary,
I hear ya! I hate the way my church treats people too but, I feel I'm "stuck" there at the moment because my hubby is a board member.
He is allowed to be a church member, I am not allowed (because I smoke.)
It drives me crazy when I dwell on it so I just keep trying to tell myself that I am going there for God and no one else. Someone told me once that, "I am a member of the blood-bought church" so, it doesn't matter if I cannnot be a church member.
But...to me it DOES matter! It's so very hard to accept that God loves & accepts me when my own church doesn't seem to do so.
Praying God will lead you.

[Katie]

Ah, yes, The "SHUNNING." I wonder what epistle this is found in since it is such an oft used tool of church leaders.

I will pray for you. I know how hard it is to stand strong against the shame that is obviously being projected at you. Remember that this person is not the one who defines the truth of who you are.

Is it possible in your situation to open a discussion with the leader over his treatment of you? I am aware that in many circumstances that is not a wise or helpful option.

[Theodora]

Hi all !
God's word says no weapon formed against us shall prosper--but at times it
I must admit it's much easier to get my mind around that statement than it is to get my heart and faith around it.
Guess I need to vent a little.For several years I pastored a circuit of 3 small
very rural churches.Before that I spent 3 years doing jeuvenile prison ministry.
I resigned as a pastor in my denomination because of certain matters regarding property,polity,and the way the denomination was treating the members of the churches I pastored.I dared to ask some rather piercing questions to my denominational "bosses",and based upon that,and much prayer-I decided to serve God rather than man.It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.
In the months that followed though,I found my pain ministered to by the Lord as he led me to go back to the basics.I wrote a little spiritual growth book based on the serenity prayer-and that was just what I needed.
Although I've been renewed and revived by many things since then(2+yrs.ago)
I still am hurt by the pastor of my local church,where my family have been members for ages.When I first resigned as a pastor,my family and I returned there,but this church is one of the denomination that I resigned.We were welcomed back by the people,but the pastor,probably under "orders"has
shunned,ignored,insulted,and generally frozen me out of any meaningful fellowship in the church.At first I thought of just going somewhere else,but
where ever we went my wife and daughter found fault with something-anything,
about the churches.They continue to go to our home church,as the "wrath" isn't directed at them.I'm currently not regularly attending anywhere,occasionally I've preached revivals,or homecomings.And I'm working on a new book--but I must say
I'm hurting over all this--and would appreciate your prayers.I know the Lord has plans for me;plans to prosper and not to harm-plans for my future and my hope,
but discerning his will is hard during times such as these for me.OK-Enough venting.
Yours in Christ,
Gary

Thanks for your post and giving us so much of your background. I'm not always "here," but I think you're relatively new, so, if you've not already been "welcomed," may I bid you welcome too?

While I've not had your particular experience, I HAVE struggled through the years of trying to find adequate spiritual support for myself----which, for me, means finding some place where I can receive the Eucharist regularly---AND finding church communities where my family can be supported. Sadly...."shamefully"...I admit to dragging them WITH me when I could no longer participate in a particular church of my denomination....until, when my sons were in their teen years, our older son clearly needed more than was being offered in my denomination.

So then....in the Lord's "providence?"....my husband and I "happened" to attend a class being taught by a friend at a church with the same denomination in which my husband had been raised. My hubby visibly relaxed into the different "style" of worship/preaching as being "HOME" again, and the pastor turned out to be exactly the kind of nurturing supportive sort which my sons needed...and US too...so we started attending there on a regular basis, though never "joining." (Never had occasion to find out WHAT those good folks thought about that, but we were never made to feel uncomfortable about it. Our younger son DID "join" when he was of an age to do so.)

In any case, my "solution," FWIW, was to do "double-duty" when I was responsible for seeing that my sons/family got to church. I would go to an early Eucharist somewhere first for ME....since, try as I might, it NEVER feels like I have really "worshiped" when at the more relaxed "Protestant" service...and then go to the second service, where my husband and I sang in the choir and in other ways participated in the "life of the community" as best we could.

I'm not sure whether you can also find some sort of compromise like that...and it must be especially painful for you to be so "shunned" because of your past INVESTMENT in that place as a pastor, BUT....somehow we need to find places where WE can be supported/comfortable even as we're conscious of needing to do what our families need as well. (And yes...like your family, my sons made it VERY plain that they had HAD it with trying to "adapt" to my former churches and their routines.....sigh! I DO feel guilty about not being able to "adapt" myself well enough, since my first church in this city DID later have a good youth program which they might have enjoyed. On a personal note, it's also hard to be a "split" family....I would so much like for my husband and sons to be able to be able to be WITH me at a Eucharist and feel that we were truly SHARING in an experience!)

Well...that's probably more than you needed to know about me and MY little "pilgrimage," but is some of the background for my instant empathy with what you shared here.

Know that you and yours will be in my prayers as you continue to heal from this painful experience....and find where/how to "move on!"

Grace and peace!

Theodora

P.S. Have you ever written up anything about your ministry to youth in prisons? Part of our hard time when our older son was in his mid-teens was that he spent some time "out of the home"---including a stint at the "Youth Rehabilitation and Treatment Center" It was VERY hard for us to recruit help/support/PASTORAL care for him while he was there...especially since he wasn't in our city at the time...and I commend you and all for that very vital ministry. We were told by folks in the Lutheran Social Services that c. 40 per cent of youth who ended up in jail had exactly our son's profile, e.g. adopted, attention deficit, and with substance abuse problems. The bishop of our "other" church home is interested in developing a better outreach ministry for those in those "difficult circumstances"--both youth and adult--so, if you have some suggestions out of your experience for how to go about that, I would appreciate your advice...which I would share on. Thanks.