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Timid
06-18-2009, 09:05 PM
Don't mind me, I just need to get some thoughts and frustrations out. But if you want to listen then continue on reading my rant.

I have worked as a nurse in a little community hospital for nearly 24 years. I have been a nurse for over 25 years. I have worked in the Surgery department of my hospital for around 21 years. I work very hard. I wear multiple hats and my boss puts a lot of faith and trust in me. She knows she can count on me to get things done and the job is done well.

Some of the women I work with will smile to your face but stab you in the back every opportunity they get. I know not to trust them, but still sometimes their words and behaviors really hurt.

I am a patient advocate. Anything I can do to make a patients surgical experience easier, I do. So my boss, over the years, has asked me to develop specific programs to prepare patients for surgeries. I developed a very successful program that totally prepares patients for major joint replacement surgeries. As a result of that program, it has saved the hospital thousands of dollars.

I have also developed a successful teaching and preparation program for outpatient surgeries. This too has saved the hospital lots of money.

I do not brag about these accomplishments. I am not full of myself. I am just a very quiet, hard working person.

Slowly, over the years, some of the women I work with have become mean spirited toward me. They complain that I don't do enough. But I do most of their admission paper work for them. To be honest, after I work with a patient pre-operatively there is very little for these nurses to do. But it isn't enough for them.

Two weeks ago, I had about 15 hours of work to be accomplished in 8 hours. The nurses were doing nothing. So I asked if they could help me. (We are supposed to be a team, everyone helping each other.) The whole department exploded in anger. I will never ask them for help again.

After that my boss commanded that every one of them to orient to my job so they understand what I do. (She knows the load I carry.) The ones who have oriented with me now support me. They never knew how big my job is. But the two that cause the most problems, still haven't oriented with me.

So now we have this new nurse, and one of the trouble makers is orienting her to the department. One day she oriented with one of my supporters. My supporter was explaining one task to her and the new girl said, "Oh is this another one of those things that Timid won't do?". The only place she could have gotten that idea was from the trouble maker.

Of course this got back to me, and though I know it shouldn't, it really hurts. All I have ever tried to do there was help patients, help my co-workers, and help my boss. To have co-workers talk bad about me is painful.

I want to let the depth of my anger and pain spew all over them, but I know that won't help any. I guess it is even more frustrating because the ring leader claims to be a good Catholic girl. Her behavior triggers my sensitivity to the SA. So I know I need to be careful with what I say, and only speak of the things she has done and not lump them into the whole SA mess, since she had nothing to do with that.

But the depth of pain that is triggered feels like a volcano with in me that needs to explode. I just can't hurt anyone the way they are hurting me. So I guess I stuff the feelings and go on.

This is the night before my vacation. I should be happy. But I am down and depressed because of all this crap.

Timid

Anna Marta
06-19-2009, 12:35 AM
(((((Timid)))))

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this crap at work. :mad: As a former nurse, and instructor in a hospital based health education department, I can touch where you are! :( Your accomplishments speak highly of your dedication, not to mention your skills and intelligence. Many of us really did go into nursing because we love God and His children and honestly care about them. There are pros and cons to being in that group and you describe them well. As a person who cares deeply you also tend to feel deeply, it is part and parcial of who you are and reflects your loving heart.

For your jealous colleagues, I would dare to think nursing is just a job, not an inner calling. Jealousy is a nasty thing and rots the heart from the inside out. Whoever these people are they are NOT happy with themselves if not downright personality disordered... Natually having this knowledge does nothing for "your pain" explanations are not solutions, are they?

You are right when you connect the behaviors of your colleague to SA because it IS abuse she is engaging in when it comes to you! :mad:

It appears that your boss is well aware of the problem and the atmosphere. I would caution you that sometimes being passive isn't always the answer if we want to have healthy immune systems. It is the easier thing to do, but not always the wisest. Being proactive may be all that you can do if you are not willing to register a formal (or informal) complaint with your boss or personell about the person undermining you.

As long as you continue to feel you are boxed in a corner with no way out, your immune system will leave you wide open for stress related health problems. Beginning a vacation so depressed is dangerous as you will need to spend a good deal of it recovering psychologically and emotionally.

Could it be that God is allowing you the opportunity to develop new areas of strength, and this situation could be fodder for new programs that would teach nurses how to cope?

Keeping you in prayer.
Hugs
AM

Timid
06-19-2009, 09:04 AM
Thank you so much AM. Your kind and wise words help. I have been thinking and praying about what to do.

I think what I am going to do is first the Biblical thing. Pray for my enemies.

Second, when I get back, I will insist that the two trouble makers spend a day with me in my job. I have a feeling though no matter what, they will always be back stabbers and gossips.

I will also insist from this point on that all new people start with me. As I am the beginning of the process to getting patients ready, the new nurses should learn my job first. :) I know my boss will do this for me. It will stop any "rumor mill" problems before they even start when it comes to what I do or don't do in my job.

For now, I am going to forget about work. Pack my bags for my vacation. And relax and enjoy myself. I work hard and have earned this time of peace.

Thank you again AM. (((((AM))))) You have helped me put things into perspective again.

Timid

Anna Marta
06-19-2009, 11:05 AM
Happy vacation! :D:D:D:D:D:D
((((((Hugs)))))))