analyzer
06-16-2009, 07:15 AM
The purpose of this post is to share with you the love of God that I experience at the moment inspite of the fact that I fell into deep sin. This issue is very rarely brought up from the pulpits because of the fear that people take the grace of God as a licence to sin. God didn’t justify my sin, but exposed it in the most loving, patient and creative way by letting me bump into an article that I refer to below. That article was moving me in a deep way. It’s about Kevin Hines who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, but changed his mind half the way down saying to himself:
1. "I want to live. Why am I doing this?"
2. “God, save me”
3. “throw your head back”
4. “hit feet first”.
Happy ending: He survived !
This is just one of many articles telling the story:
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/164/5/720
Why am I bringing this up and how did God speak to me through this article?
1. Because I jump from bridges myself (out of fun)
2. Because I was confident that I never had contemplated to commit suicide. (thought so)
I love life, embrace it to the fullest and I don't miss any chance to enjoy life. As an adventurer I run marathons, enjoy humongous swims, ride my bicycle, climb mountains and jump from cliffs and bridges. By the way, you are welcomed to see some of this stuff via my profile where I deposited a link to my little website.
I never had contemplated to commit suicide, at least I thought so, but the Lord has shown to me that I had committed suicide in a spiritual sense and now He is in the process of rescuing me. Often we fail to view the Goodness and the Severity of God simultaneously (Rom 11:22). With His infinite Goodness He sought creative ways to reach me and with His infinite Severity He exposed the true nature of my bad choices to me. God allowed me to experience Prov 8:36: “But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.”
As I said in my very first post: The greatest tragedy I have observed in others and also in myself is this: as we turn away from spiritual abuse we succumb to the temptation to turn away from God too. We are faced with the challenge to separate the siamese twins of godly investment and spiritual abuse with a tiny scalpel and regrettably very often both of the twins don’t survive the operation.
Just as fever is the evidence that our immune system is fighting an infection, our struggle with sin is the evidence that the Spirit inside of us is fighting for our freedom. God loves us too much that he would let us go and settle with it. God wants us to be free from the bondage of sin and from selfish leaders.
I want to live – to find a community where not everything is revolving around one man.
I want to live – to see Rom 8:28 fulfilled after 20 years of poor leadership. ("that all things work together for good ...")
I want to live – to experience authentic friendships like never before.
I want to live - to be led by God’s wisdom who to follow and who to avoid here on earth.
I want to live – to experience God’ s forgiveness after I turned my back on Him.
Please pray for me that I would continue to pursue these things. Thank you for your patience to read this post.
God bless you all
Gerald
1. "I want to live. Why am I doing this?"
2. “God, save me”
3. “throw your head back”
4. “hit feet first”.
Happy ending: He survived !
This is just one of many articles telling the story:
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/164/5/720
Why am I bringing this up and how did God speak to me through this article?
1. Because I jump from bridges myself (out of fun)
2. Because I was confident that I never had contemplated to commit suicide. (thought so)
I love life, embrace it to the fullest and I don't miss any chance to enjoy life. As an adventurer I run marathons, enjoy humongous swims, ride my bicycle, climb mountains and jump from cliffs and bridges. By the way, you are welcomed to see some of this stuff via my profile where I deposited a link to my little website.
I never had contemplated to commit suicide, at least I thought so, but the Lord has shown to me that I had committed suicide in a spiritual sense and now He is in the process of rescuing me. Often we fail to view the Goodness and the Severity of God simultaneously (Rom 11:22). With His infinite Goodness He sought creative ways to reach me and with His infinite Severity He exposed the true nature of my bad choices to me. God allowed me to experience Prov 8:36: “But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.”
As I said in my very first post: The greatest tragedy I have observed in others and also in myself is this: as we turn away from spiritual abuse we succumb to the temptation to turn away from God too. We are faced with the challenge to separate the siamese twins of godly investment and spiritual abuse with a tiny scalpel and regrettably very often both of the twins don’t survive the operation.
Just as fever is the evidence that our immune system is fighting an infection, our struggle with sin is the evidence that the Spirit inside of us is fighting for our freedom. God loves us too much that he would let us go and settle with it. God wants us to be free from the bondage of sin and from selfish leaders.
I want to live – to find a community where not everything is revolving around one man.
I want to live – to see Rom 8:28 fulfilled after 20 years of poor leadership. ("that all things work together for good ...")
I want to live – to experience authentic friendships like never before.
I want to live - to be led by God’s wisdom who to follow and who to avoid here on earth.
I want to live – to experience God’ s forgiveness after I turned my back on Him.
Please pray for me that I would continue to pursue these things. Thank you for your patience to read this post.
God bless you all
Gerald