"you MUST attend church faithfully"

[Lvanett]

I got a devotional online the other day and the topic was faithful church attendance. The author wrote words to the effect of "you MUST attend church faithfully!" stating that the early Christians did and those who didn't were considered apostate. But the statement ""you MUST attend church faithfully!" bothered me. I wanted to write the author and give him a piece of my mind, explaining how some want to do so but can't for a number of reasons. But it's not Christlike to attack my brother or sister in this way, so I decided not to.

About that line...usually it's said by someone who means well but has probably not experienced spiritual abuse - or who has only been to a handful of churches and only experienced one "bad" one out of them all. Someone who may not understand.

I've tried so many churches I'm starting to run out of places I would consider going to. Oh we have lots of denominational churches (including Catholic) and of course local JWs, Mormons, SDAs and other Christian offshoot churches are aplenty. I definitely don't fit in those places, since the offshoots are too "extreme" for me and the denominational ones are usually too stuck in the past, just wanting the old worn pews, old dusty bibles, and old fashioned "Let us sing a hymn to Our God" (said almost robotically) style worship with or without olde organ.

The sad part?
I really want to attend a church and be faithful - I really do! - but I'm fearful that the next church I want to attend regularly will be abusive in one form or another. Things like false promises, putting on a show (gotta love these), or going the opposite way and running to their little cliques instead of acknowledging you even after several visits. Not that I expect people to come jumping for joy when I arrive, just a "hey how are you, we care about you" kinda treatment.

I've even thought of going back to churches I used to attend. Lots of prayer in that department. There's only one I would consider attending, but the last time I went I got a "show". I'm afraid that the next visit will be more of the same.

I want to use my spiritual gifts, but so many churches are not open to it and that further complicates things. Just makes me want to crawl in bed and sleep the rest of my life away.

So I hope the next person who tells me I "must attend church faithfully" can understand and accept the reasons why I'm hesitant to do so. I'm not sure if the Lord accepts it or not.

[luttrell03]

Hi Lvanett.
I don't wonder that the statement bugged you! It's quite buggy.
Isn't it just the ol' religious obligation/duty thing of, 'I should' or 'I must' do this or that to gain browny points? Don't blame you for not being 'built up' by the devotional. But I highly respect your heart's desire for something authentic, real and truly encouraging in fellowship.

I guess the message comes from Heb. 10:25-25,,,'Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.'

Some translate that verse to say,' you shouldn't miss our worship services of the church'. But notice the verse doesn't say anything about worship, services or church per se., although I'm not knocking any of that.
Also the verse doesn't mention any particular time, place, day, building, institution, around a primary leader, how often to meet, or if I should hear at least an hour long sermon.

What I think the verse is primarily saying is that it is good for us to assemble (doesn't say there, 'the assembly'), gather, come together, with other believers in order for mutual encouragement in an authentic way. That can happen anywhere, any time, any place.
That fits better the context.....'let us draw near with a sincere heart' (22)
'Let us hold fast the confession of our hope' (23),'let us consider one another to stir up love and good works' (24).
So I don't personally believe the writer was talking about 'church attendance records' per se, but to encourage us to get some encouragement and get loved up when possible so we can finish the course.
I don't know if that encouraged you any, but I think you were right on about that devotional. :)

[simka2]

I feel your frustration :( I attended a relatively healthy non-controlling church that does let me practice my gifts...and lets just say last Sun was bad!!!! I was planning my escape! The message triggered me soooo badly...and one of the things said was something along the lines of "you cannot grow as a chrisitan outside of the body." Now I actually believe this to some degree in a loose sense...plus I do think there are special circumstances and desert experiences that are very intense.

Anyway I was in a fit! and this from the pastor who physically stepped in to protect me from spiritually abuseive pastor. That night we went to dinner with another former staff couple who now attend our church...and I gushed about how upset I was. They brought up a really good point...see someone they brought to church really needed to hear that. So I began to wonder if I should cut my pastor a little slack...someone needed to hear what he ahd to say...and he was sensitive enough to say it. Now I have an obligation to work thru my triggers...and be careful not to apply every comment directly to myself :) Easier said than done...huh? :)

Plus I know that next sun he is fininshing his message and it has to do with a wallless church...or something.

Take gentle care of yourself!

[ex-shep]

I got a devotional online the other day and the topic was faithful church attendance. The author wrote words to the effect of "you MUST attend church faithfully!" stating that the early Christians did and those who didn't were considered apostate. But the statement ""you MUST attend church faithfully!" bothered me. I wanted to write the author and give him a piece of my mind, explaining how some want to do so but can't for a number of reasons. But it's not Christlike to attack my brother or sister in this way, so I decided not to.

About that line...usually it's said by someone who means well but has probably not experienced spiritual abuse - or who has only been to a handful of churches and only experienced one "bad" one out of them all. Someone who may not understand.

I've tried so many churches I'm starting to run out of places I would consider going to. Oh we have lots of denominational churches (including Catholic) and of course local JWs, Mormons, SDAs and other Christian offshoot churches are aplenty. I definitely don't fit in those places, since the offshoots are too "extreme" for me and the denominational ones are usually too stuck in the past, just wanting the old worn pews, old dusty bibles, and old fashioned "Let us sing a hymn to Our God" (said almost robotically) style worship with or without olde organ.

The sad part?
I really want to attend a church and be faithful - I really do! - but I'm fearful that the next church I want to attend regularly will be abusive in one form or another. Things like false promises, putting on a show (gotta love these), or going the opposite way and running to their little cliques instead of acknowledging you even after several visits. Not that I expect people to come jumping for joy when I arrive, just a "hey how are you, we care about you" kinda treatment.

I've even thought of going back to churches I used to attend. Lots of prayer in that department. There's only one I would consider attending, but the last time I went I got a "show". I'm afraid that the next visit will be more of the same.

I want to use my spiritual gifts, but so many churches are not open to it and that further complicates things. Just makes me want to crawl in bed and sleep the rest of my life away.

So I hope the next person who tells me I "must attend church faithfully" can understand and accept the reasons why I'm hesitant to do so. I'm not sure if the Lord accepts it or not.


I can relate to your frustration. There is need to attend faithfully, but I can see where it would flash over to legalism in a heartbeat. There is nothing worse than the used car salesman first time visitor commitee. I wanted to just sit down a service at church in Cleveland. For those who like old time southern gospel, the place cannot be beat. The second my wife and I walked in, we were fresh meat. It was maddening. Needless to say, we never went back. I still have their coffee cups.

The church I attend is inviting. Most come by invitation from friends and neighbors. There is a mention for first timers in the service. There is a visitors table where one can come at his leisure. We all manage to find a niche. I get up early on Sunday for the early service because I like it, not out of obligation. Good post. Next latte on me.

[JaniceB]

I got a devotional online the other day and the topic was faithful church attendance. The author wrote words to the effect of "you MUST attend church faithfully!" stating that the early Christians did and those who didn't were considered apostate.

I doubt that the author of that devotion would tell you to go to church right after you'd been hit by a truck. Hopefully that person would encourage you to get well first and not risk your recovery by sitting in a church. Well, you've been hit by a truck with a big SA on the side of it. Take care of yourself.

"you cannot grow as a chrisitan outside of the body." Now I actually believe this to some degree in a loose sense...plus I do think there are special circumstances and desert experiences that are very intense.

Sometimes you cannot grow as a Christian inside the body, especially if they're on your case about something all the time. I remember a pastor telling us that our faith would grow through assembling together and I told him that my faith had been damaged many times by assembling.

I would love to find a church or a Bible study group or something that I could feel safe in but I guess I still have wounds from that truck accident.

[ex-shep]

I doubt that the author of that devotion would tell you to go to church right after you'd been hit by a truck. Hopefully that person would encourage you to get well first and not risk your recovery by sitting in a church. Well, you've been hit by a truck with a big SA on the side of it. Take care of yourself.



Sometimes you cannot grow as a Christian inside the body, especially if they're on your case about something all the time. I remember a pastor telling us that our faith would grow through assembling together and I told him that my faith had been damaged many times by assembling.

I would love to find a church or a Bible study group or something that I could feel safe in but I guess I still have wounds from that truck accident.

In our case, we simply need the time to recuperate. The best one do for a bit is sleep in. I love the church I attend. I doubt I would go during the early years of recovery. It is an inviting church; however I can see where others may dive for cover. For now take care of yourself. I knew when I was ready. It was worth the wait.

[dougjb]

Hi everyone,
I do believe that Christian need to come together as a community of believers for mutual aid and support in our faith and we should have a natural inclination and desire to assemble as a body of believers. If there is a need for the leadership of the church to incessantly demand that one "faithfully attend church," it tells me that there is something fundamentally malfunctioning in the church. It causes me to ask the big question, "Why don't people want to go to church?" What is missing that causes people to shy away from getting together?
I may be out of my mind here but I will proffer a really wild and crazy thought. Jesus gave a new command in John 13:35, "Love one another..." If we have love someone, then there is a strong tendency to desire to be around them. If we do not love someone or even dislike them, there is a strong tendency to avoid them. If there is lovelessness and indifference between members of a church, then would people be more or less inclined to attend and participate in the activities of the church.
It is my opinion that if there is an attendence problem in the church, maybe, the leadership should first look for the root cause of the problem and strive to remedy it. I would be that many issues would disappear if we became more people orientated with an emphasis on truly loving each other and less program orientated.

dougjb
some food for thought

[Lvanett]

I love the input I'm getting here. :)

I consider our coming here as a "church" of sorts. OK we don't have services, but we do gather, build each other up (or correct one another in love), and all share a love for the Lord and a desire to be what He wants us to be. We're damaged goods but not unacceptable in HIS eyes. To Him, we're just broken pottery....and God loves us the way we are and will accept & forgive us even if we never change. That's one of the things I love about Him, He never forces things.

Churches, OTOH, are not always so willing to accept you as you are. If you have spiritual abuse and need your space, some understand and some don't. If you're like me and you want to serve but have some baggage, again...some understand and accept you, and some don't. They act like "if we can't change into what we think you should be we want no part of you." That's not love, that's manipulation.

I don't know if the author of the devotional took all this into consideration or not (it was the late Adrian Rogers).