Investment Made--We were robbed!

[SueJean]

My hubby & I were talking about the spiritual abuse group. He realized that we made an investment--time, energy, money, etc. We took a risk--his words--and all that we had invested in regarding that group is gone. His words have had a profound...and I do truly mean that...affect on me. We've been robbed. We thought that we were storing up treasure in heaven. Yes, we did. Silly us. Silly me. I did the same things over and over again, expecting different results: that's just one definition for crazy. Tomorrow will be different; this time will be different, ad nauseum. No moth nor rust stole this treasure. No. I've apologized to GOD for putting all of my trust into people rather than in Him. Now what? Reading The Shack is helping to give me words to better express what I'm feeling: The Great Sadness. Now what? My in-laws went through a shake-up where they were attending. My mom-in-law, who was about 55 at the time, never recovered. She's 95; her son, our children, and I are her closest friends.
Invest in GOD...how do I go about that? No, really. I'm not trying to be smart mouth or an agitator. Spend time with GOD? Read the Bible? What???

[ex-shep]

You are not alone in your feelings. I lost four years to my group. I am cursed with underemployment. It took me years to recover.

The numbers are staggering and depressing. Where I have to be careful is not to wallow in resentment or self pity. The losses can be overwhelming.

What has helped in the long run is the gifts earned in recovery. They are worth the work and the wait. In the meantime, I can relate. I have been there, seen it, done that, and got the T shirt.

[simka2]

The sense of loss is very sad indeed :(

[Anna Marta]

Keep sharing - let those feelings and thoughts out. I identify with them and can feel your anger and frustration.

This is a process and we have to surface some of the stuff to work it out and deal with the feelings.

I am praying for you

AM

[SueJean]

Ohhh, thank you all for sharing. Thank you for encouraging me to get all of this stuff out!!!! It seems to come in spirts...a little here and a little there. Hugs a bunch.

[Timid]

Ohhh, thank you all for sharing. Thank you for encouraging me to get all of this stuff out!!!! It seems to come in spirts...a little here and a little there. Hugs a bunch.

I totally understand what you are saying SueJean. I am glad there is this place of safety for you and me and others to express those feelings of anger and betrayal.

The letting it out in little spirts is like testing the waters to see if it is safe. Let those little spirts keep happening. For some reason venting the feelings helps healing. One little spirt at a time is better than no spirts at all. :p

You hang in there.

[Jerry]

Dear Suejean,,,,
I have to disagree in the "All is lost idea"....God is acutely aware of the good faith and good intentions of yourself and dh ;) Don't ever believe that your loving efforts count for nothing....God is a very smart fella,He knows what is what ;).....At judgement you and dh will ware beautiful white robes made of linen weaved from your works.......Those who abused and perverted your gifts to God will stand naked with hands cupped over their genitals.....They will not receive a well done ,,,,,,,,but will be told "Get out of My sight,I never knew you" ;) ...... Trust me ,,,,God knows you and dh tried,and thats what counts.God owns everything anyway ;)

Love Jerry

[Anna Marta]

Allow the little spirts to squirt. The reason it happens this way is because you are grieving and grief takes time to work through. Our bodies are wise so they allow us to deal with only so much at a time. When we listen to our bodies and go with their natural flow, instead of fighting it, the process continues slowly but surely. A new life in which we can trust and love agains begins to unfold ahead of us like a flower opening. Don't rush, don't shut down, "just be."

I honestly believe God the Father knows your needs and will direct your recovery if you allow Him the time and freedom.

Love and prayers for your journey
AM

[SueJean]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I am glad that I have a place to come and share my thoughts, my spirts of "What was that???"

[Carmen]

I understand too, Sue Jean. The feeling of loss at the beginning is overwhelming. I have even compared it to rape of the soul. Get together regularly with those that support you emotionally and understand you. Don't face this alone. After the SA I was spiraling down and was blessed that a few good friends came by to get me out of it. Don't give up - fight your way back to health and well-being. You can do it!

[SueJean]

Hi Carmen,
The 12 Step meetings that I attend help to a point. At least there, I can share my experience, strength, and hope as I recover from the violence from my family of origin. Finding someone to share this pain...to even be able to talk about it, sigh. I'm in counseling. One of our goals is for me to be able to drive and go to places that I feel are unsafe--I may see someone from the SA group.

[JaniceB]

Dear Suejean,,,,
I have to disagree in the "All is lost idea"....God is acutely aware of the good faith and good intentions of yourself and dh ;) Don't ever believe that your loving efforts count for nothing....God is a very smart fella,He knows what is what ;)

I have to agree. God is a very smart fella and not easily offended either. God is also very creative and he can make great stuff out of junk. Spiritual abuse is junk but I've seen God bring gold into my life using the SA and my healing to make it.

[SueJean]

Thank you all who've written. I do soooooo greatly appreciate it. This website is really the only place that I can really share and I do mean truly share what I'm thinking and feeling w/out feeling dismissed or that I should be over it by now. And, since I'm still talking about it, that means that I need to forgive and forget, etc. I like how the author of The Shack explained forgiveness. I most certainly agree. That's a topic for another day. I'll read all of your comments again. I like having comments written; it allows me the opportunity to reread and to think BEFORE I comment :D