Recovery? Trigger warning!

[4trustful one]

To whom it may concern: I feel that I need to share some thoughts. During my brief stay here I experienced the following.
1. It was insinuated that I am a predetor.
2.It was insinuated that I am a religious bigot.
3.There was a “cloaked” threat to turn me into the administration to have me “banned”
4.I was accused of being someone that I am not.
5.It seems that people were talking about me behind my back because someone told me that around ½ dozen people thought that I was someone that I am not.
6.I was accused of being unkind.
7.I was accused of not being compassionate.
8.It was insinuated that I am an abuser.

All of because I offered a prayer for some people who were breaking God’s heart? All of this because I love God and did not want Him misrepresented? All of this because I cared enough for some people to pray in private and online on a “Christian” forum? I am sorry. It did not even dawn on me that I might trigger you so. I have been abused and abused. That is why I came here. I thought that we might be able to help one another. But it quickly became obvious to me that I was not welcome here. I did not know the unspoken “rules” that one need share about themselves before they are accepted and welcomed.
I am usually not one to defend myself. I really do not need to do that. However, I feel that I need to write this. I beg of you not to do the same to anyone else.
At my old church there was man that used to come and sit in the balcony during the services. It was a large church.
He must have been hurting terribly and came there for help. But no one reached out to Him.
That man went out and tried to commit suicide.

[4trustful one]

Excuse me. I should'nt have said the man "tried" to commit suicide. The man is dead. He did commit suicide.

[Nwankama]

There are two persons each of who wants our souls. One accuses and the other saves. I must be careful of whose side on which I am. Do I want to be (or sometimes act as is I am) the agent of he who accuses or he who accepts people and saves? We must be careful to be on the side of God. May He help even me as I am making this comment. I don't mean that I am good or that anyone is bad. My own sins are ever before me and that makes it difficult for me to pass judgement on others. It is very serious!

[Willow]

4trustfulone

I don't think I was involved in that series of posts... but feel badly that you were wounded here. I hope we are growing here and treating people better as we grow. I'm not really so much christian anymore, but the law of kindness is really important to me.

Peace,
Willow

[Willow]

Correction... I did get involved and made a silly joke at the wrong time. Jerry took it well. Others were offended. So sorry. I need to watch my sense of humor here.

[Patty]

Omigosh, to 4trustful one...i have not read all the posts containing such hurtful accusations towards you because I haven't been around this site for awhile. I am an "old-timer." However, from time to time because we are such a hurting group, we act and react the same way our old abusive churches conditioned us. ("hurting people hurt people" and all that) I am truely sorry you have encountered more woundedness here, but trust me, trustful one, hang with this, it is a great place to work through when you feel falsely accused, probably unlike your old church.

[Satscout]

:mad: :(

All of which goes to show how very very easy it is for wounded people to lash out... I have heard it said that Christians are the only ones known to shoot their wounded...

(((((4trustful one)))))

Grace and healing for us all...

Sharon

[Voyager]

All of because I offered a prayer for some people who were breaking God’s heart? All of this because I love God and did not want Him misrepresented?

Based on my experience, accusing people of "breaking God's heart" or "misrepresenting God" are the very types of things that trigger people around here. Many of us have had these manipulative phrases used on us in our former abusive groups. If you want to get some pleasant responses, you may want to refrain from using that type of verbiage in the future. It can be very triggering. Just my two-cents worth.

:cool:

[Patty]

Voyager,
Very good point. I would not like someone declaring me as one who " is breaking God's heart." I have heard that and many other catch phrases that are nothing more than gussied up gossip and slander, applied to me before. Definitely, not only a trigger but out and out damaging spiritual abuse.

[Janice]

Must have missed that thread entirely. Don't remember a thing about it.

[Beautiful_Dreamer]

I wasn't around for this exchange but I can see how some of those phrases could be triggering..heck, I can see how pretty much any phrase can be triggering to a person who has had a bad experience with it...but that doesn't mean we don't want you here. But we *do* want to know about your life and experiences because 1)we might be able to help and heal each other, and 2) I for one just love learning about other people.

[Dolphin]

Just use the filter feature and pray for the "alien"ated one. If you see a circle of light forming in perfect radius around the groundwork of your feet when outside, even going to your mailbox, RUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

[Dolphin]

Cheer up, even in worst case scenario, having been familarized by the televised reality show "Next Generation", I have seen such captives of the Enterprise to be treated most fair, and even be trained and hold adjunct jobs, having their skills tested and appreciated. I can only imagine the same courtesy would be extended on the newer reality show, and I don't think you anything to fear. The men are usually strapping, bright, and faithful in most cases. So cheer up, with a little "mind erase" laser on your noggin of your former life, you'd fit in just fine I'm sure.

[Dolphin]

I could do a Deanna Troy empathic like job pretty well. As for you, I hear that nurses are held in high-respect and are in demand, readily trainable as the devices are not duplicated anywhere else, and always need to be trained, barring education background considerations, and their quarters have the most modern tastes. We could be best buds too, if so incarcerated together, until we find us men of course. But I will always be your friend too.

And that goes for the rest of you travellers of earth too! Are there any more complaints of such confusion here of how they are being treated? I am ready to help clear any confusion as you can see and ready as well to be as kind and hospitable as I can if worst case situation should ever occur.

[Satscout]

I could do a Deanna Troy empathic like job pretty well.

AAAAAAAAACK

I forgot that most folks' impression of empaths is influenced by THAT character. *shudder* Most of us are nothing like Deanna Troi nor want to be.

*tilts head* I suspect most true empaths don't even know the name for that gift/curse that complicates their lives. More power to them. May they live in perpetual ignorance of it.

Sharon

[Dolphin]

Trustful, I have christianity questions but I still have a strong faith in God. It personally does not offend me that you have a strong belief in God still either because I do too. Forgive my joking around I am being silly. Someone here with a neat name thinks I am other people too and would like to find my location or something. My joking around is about that only kind of expanded. God bless us all. I think we've all been through hard times. It really helps to have a place to talk about this stuff.

[Dolphin]

Are you an empath, Satscout? I guess you mean you are deeply feeling. It is interesting how people are built different ways. I think that the gifts that each of us have all have a downside, as people can feel used by others or misunderstood.

[Dolphin]

Satscout, are you aboard the Voyager too then? I mean if I was hunted down and abducted and all, would I at least be able to get counseling about that you think? I think that would help. So what do your superiors say?

[Satscout]

Satscout, are you aboard the Voyager too then? I mean if I was hunted down and abducted and all, would I at least be able to get counseling about that you think? I think that would help. So what do your superiors say?

To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure what you were referring to until this quote...

but no, I'm not "aboard the Voyager", and yes, I am an empath.

The science fictional types take a perfectly normal trait and make something supernatural about it. In real life, empaths come in two basic flavors, receptive and projective. Most folks have both to one degree or another. Some don't really exhibit either. Some exhibit one or the other very very VERY strongly.

I am a receptive empath. Gets me in trouble all the time, and I've been trying to burn it out of myself for most of my life with no real success.

A good example of a projective empath is a musical performer who "moves" his audience... someone who "makes you feel the music". They are sending the emotion with the sound. I can't describe it better. It is not quantifiable, as far as I know.

Most empaths who tend toward the receptive end of the scale end up in the "helping professions" or in the looney bin, or both.

When I was little, all I had to be was in the same room with a person - eyes shut, walling them off as best as I could to no avail - and I was feeling what that person felt. Involuntarily. Powerfully. Maddeningly. And the bigger the group, the stronger the wash. Nobody was safe to talk to, because I could "feel" the condescension before I ever spoke. And I never met a projector "sending" *safe* enough to trust.

I still hate large groups. And I *always* sit on the end of a row. Always.

Enough about my neuroses. Is there anything you can do about your pursuers? or their "superiors"? If I were in a position to help, I would... *sighs at powerlessness*

Sharon

[4trustful one]

Voyager,
Very good point. I would not like someone declaring me as one who " is breaking God's heart." I have heard that and many other catch phrases that are nothing more than gussied up gossip and slander, applied to me before. Definitely, not only a trigger but out and out damaging spiritual abuse.

Patty, Are you implying that I am a gossip, slanderer and using out and out damaging spiritual abuse?
If that is what you are saying about me, will you tell that to God, please?
I see nothing wrong with saying one is breaking God's heart. I break His heart. If His heart breaks over someone it only means that He dearly loves that person. One's heart (including God's) can only be broken if they care. It is only a hard heart that refuses to be broken and God intensly loves Voyager. God's heart breaks more than we can ever imagine because He longs to be loved. Just like you and me and Voyager.
Please don't think the worst about me. I did nothing to harm you. I did not gossip, slander or spiritually abuse you. I did not gossip, slander or abuse Voyager. I care deeply about him. Is there something wrong with that?

[Patty]

Nope, don't know you, never have read any of your previous posts, not calling you anything. I was just replying to a comment made by Voyager, whereby I agreed that "catch phrases" in "Christianese" as well as "twisted scripture," especially when employed by church leaders have been used to manipulate and intimidate those who they consider threats in their church. They decree this about someone they are threatened by, leak it to people they can count on to spread it, and the person is now tainted goods. Common tactic. "Breaking God's heart" is a good one, among many others. (we oughta start a list!) You don't hear that phrase in day-to-day language. I mean really, who can say someone is doing that, its like the whole speck/log in the eye theory. Who is anyone, other than the Holy Spirit, who can know the heart and mind of another?

[Satscout]

Patty, Are you implying that I am a gossip, slanderer and using out and out damaging spiritual abuse?
If that is what you are saying about me, will you tell that to God, please?
I see nothing wrong with saying one is breaking God's heart. I break His heart. If His heart breaks over someone it only means that He dearly loves that person. One's heart (including God's) can only be broken if they care. It is only a hard heart that refuses to be broken and God intensly loves Voyager. God's heart breaks more than we can ever imagine because He longs to be loved. Just like you and me and Voyager.
Please don't think the worst about me. I did nothing to harm you. I did not gossip, slander or spiritually abuse you. I did not gossip, slander or abuse Voyager. I care deeply about him. Is there something wrong with that?

:(

I don't think anybody is implying ANYTHING other than that certain phrases are VERY triggering...

For example: One person may be OK with having a gun in his house for self defense.

Another person may have been a victim of a gun crime and have small children in the house, and have very good reasons for NOT being OK with having a gun in his house.

Phrases like "breaking God's heart" can come across like a loaded pistol whether they are intended that way or not ***only because they have been instruments of abuse in the past***. And on a board like this one, the odds of it triggering are high (as the responses on the subject have shown).

SOOOOOO.... even though the current use was NOT meant as gossip, slander, or abuse, it comes across that way because of CONTEXT, not INTENT. What makes SAYING it wrong is NOT that it is meant to harm but that it is hurting others whether it is intended to or not.

*sigh*

Peace

Sharon

[4trustful one]

Nope, don't know you, never have read any of your previous posts, not calling you anything. Thank you!

I was just replying to a comment made by Voyager, whereby I agreed that "catch phrases" in "Christianese" as well as "twisted scripture," especially when employed by church leaders have been used to manipulate and intimidate those who they consider threats in their church. They decree this about someone they are threatened by, leak it to people they can count on to spread it, and the person is now tainted goods. I know the hurt from that, myself as I have had that done to me many times.

Common tactic. "Breaking God's heart" is a good one, among many others. (we oughta start a list!) You don't hear that phrase in day-to-day language. I now realize that and will try to be more careful. However, I do hear it in every day language because, I am usually only around people that speak "Chrisianeze all of the time. It is part of "me". I don't mean to "trigger" anyone here. I really don't. It is very hard for me to adjust myself to people that are not used to that. I am trying, tho, I really am. I don't want to hurt anyone here more than they have been hurt.

I mean really, who can say someone is doing that, its like the whole speck/log in the eye theory. Who is anyone, other than the Holy Spirit, who can know the heart and mind of another? You are so right about judging. If it came across as judging, please forgive me. I know that I am judgemental but, again I am trying. Having said that, I feel my conscious is clear that I was not judging Voyager's heart even tho it might have come across as such. I believe that Voyager now realizes that I care deeply about him. I have tried to communicate that to him several times :cool: However, I am getting to know God's beautiful heart. I have searched for His heart for numerous years as He has invited me to. God says that we judge him and invites us to be persuaded of His love and goodness. We all judge God whether we realize it or not and I have judged His heart to be full of loving-kindness, mercy. I have been persuaded of His goodness. I believe that He is quite delighted to reveal Himself to doubters when we ask. I claim no super-spirituality because I have come to trust Him. I am just one desperate seeker and had no where else to turn. You are right that the Holy Spirit only knows the heart and mind of another. He absolutely delights to reveal to us the heart and mind of God because He wants to share God's beautiful heart and mind so that we might know the Father's heart and mind.

Patty, if I triggered you or anyone else, I am sorry. I do not want to hurt others! I am still learning!
Thank you for your reply to me. I am sorry this is so long and "preachy" but I just wanted to explain where I am coming from. I will continue to try to adjust to this forum.
4trustful one P.S. please read through your message above to me. I made a mess of this and somehow got some of my answers entangled with yours. No time left to fix it.

[Patty]

Wow, what a beautiful, honest and non-defensive reply. Thank-you. (now this is how it works!)

[Voyager]

When we see ourselves as unlovable or even hated by God, it's easy for us to project that feeling onto others without even realizing it. On the other hand, when we realize that none of us are inherently "evil" (although we all sometimes do bad things), then we are better able to communicate with each other without being hyper-defensive and overreacting to anything that might remotely resemble a condemning remark.

I'm still trying to learn this!

:(

[Voyager]

Maybe we should ask the Admin to implement a "Trigger Warning Level" system for the forums similar to the national Terror Threat Level system. He could put either a red, yellow, orange, blue, or green light on the forum home page showing the trigger level depending on the "temperature" in the forums: Severe, High, Elevated, Guarded, and Low.

:D :p :D

[Florence]

Speaking only for myself, I am very suspicious and cautious of anyone who asserts that they know when God's heart is broken or try to defend Him if they believe He is being misrepresented. I don't even want people to tell me God loves me and cares for me. He's a pretty big God and He doesn't need anyone's help to get that message across or to defend His honor with empty words. I'm am much more responsive to people who simply show that they understand God's heart with their own words of kindness and encouragement. If it's sincere and from the heart, I will know that it is not that person alone who speaks, but God speaking through them. No "Thus saith the Lord"s required.

Florence

[4trustful one]

[QUOTE=Satscout (Phrases like "breaking God's heart" can come across like a loaded pistol whether they are intended that way or not ***only because they have been instruments of abuse in the past


Thanks for concern and imput, (((Satscout))). It has been my experience that even perceived, loaded pistols can turn into the sweetest of flowers.

[4trustful one]

Wow, what a beautiful, honest and non-defensive reply. Thank-you. (now this is how it works!)

Thank-you! Your words mean so much to me, dear (((Patty)))

[4trustful one]

[QUOTE=Voyager]When we see ourselves as unlovable or even hated by God, it's easy for us to project that feeling onto others without even realizing it. On the other hand, when we realize that none of us are inherently "evil" (although we all sometimes do bad things), then we are better able to communicate with each other without being hyper-defensive and overreacting to anything that might remotely resemble a condemning remark.

I'm still trying to learn this!

I'm still trying to learn this, also! It is so :cool: that you are so transparent, :cool: (Voyager) :)

[4trustful one]

Maybe we should ask the Admin to implement a "Trigger Warning Level" system for the forums similar to the national Terror Threat Level system. He could put either a red, yellow, orange, blue, or green light on the forum home page showing the trigger level depending on the "temperature" in the forums: Severe, High, Elevated, Guarded, and Low.

:D :p :D



:eek: Run for cover........Hide...........Come out from hiding and lurk :p

[4trustful one]

:eek: Run for cover........Hide...........Come out from hiding and lurk :p

Whoops! I misunderstood what you were saying, Voyager ! that is the reason my reply was, perhaps confusing :o
Sure am having trouble communicating to others and understanding what people are saying. Guess I need some sleep :o Plus, I still need to grow alot!

[4trustful one]

QUOTE=Voyager: When we see ourselves as unlovable or even hated by God, it's easy for us to project that feeling onto others without even realizing it. On the other hand, when we realize that none of us are inherently "evil" (although we all sometimes do bad things), then we are better able to communicate with each other without being hyper-defensive and overreacting to anything that might remotely resemble a condemning remark.

I'm still trying to learn this!

QUOTE = 4trustful one: I'm still trying to learn this, also!

Clarification: To anyone who might be confused regarding my reply to Voyager versus some of my previous statements regarding my relationship with God - I have become much more persuaded of His love of me. The results of my being persuaded has been freedom from the awful, awful fear that I had up until recently. It does not mean that I don't get anxious but that nagging fear and doubt is pretty much gone. I think i also saw myself as unlovable and hated by God as Voyager. That is changing. And, the result of my unhealthy fear leaving has been an incredible freedom to be "me". Because I now believe that I am the apple of God's eye, I have, overall, peace, joy and an incredible relief that alot of my doubts are disappearing. It has been a long, long struggle, like most of us here, but God never let go of my hand. I felt like He did, but, He did not and will not.
I still am "trying to learn this" as Voyager but my doubts are becoming fewer and fewer. I still don't understand so much suffering in the world but, since I am being persuaded that He is a kind, loving and good God it is becoming a little easier to trust Him with the issue of suffering.
I hope that this makes some sense to some who have followed this tread.
I hope to be able to "share" sometime some of the things that have helped me trust God more. I know that each of us have to be persuaded in our own way and time but, I tried to learn from others who were having struggles. I tried, and continue to try some of the things that helped those whose footsteps I follow. Some of the things that helped them to be convinced of God's trustworthiness have really helped me also.
This is way too long, already, so might share at a later time.
Thanks for listening and for most of your patience with me and my struggles...

[Patty]

Well, gee, now I am confused. Are "Voyager" and "4Trustful One" the same person?

[4trustful one]

No, we are not the same person. I know, my writing can be sooo confusing. I am really trying to work on that.

Patty, your kind post to me was one of the few things that kept me going. Thank you, dear one! I am glad you wrote because I almost forgot you. How could I? Well, I am human ;)