Voyager
01-30-2009, 02:40 PM
I thought it would be cool to start a thread that discusses what helps and hinders us in our recovery from spiritual abuse process. The forum guidelines encourage us to do that. I'm guessing that by sharing these, our fellow forum members will be sensitive to each others' recovery needs - and our boundaries.
I'll start with sharing what helps me recover and heal:
It helps me to be around people who accept me for who I am in recovery.
It helps me if they don't require me to believe a certain way or perform a certain way to be accepted.
It helps me to know that I am not about to be severed from the group.
It helps me to feel like people can understand what I share with the group.
It helps me to be around people who appreciate my encouragement, and return it.
It helps me to be around people who can allow me to hide every once in a while when I want to be alone.
It helps me to be around people who don't get personal satisfaction by controlling me.
I'm sure there is more but I will leave it at that for now.
Here are some of the things that hinder my recovery:
Requiring me to measure up spiritually. Feeling like I have to measure up spiritually is one of the biggest hurdles for me when trying to recover from spiritual abuse. I don't want to have to live my life to meet someone else's religious expectations.
Fear of rejection and/or severance from the group. Another hurdle to overcome when you leave spiritual abuse is fear of being rejected and cut off from the flock. The last thing I want to feel in a recovery group is fear that I am making God mad or that I might be violating the Bible and doomed for hellfire. Fears of being severed from the group are usually the biggest trigger for anyone who has suffered the traumatic loss of a church family. Verses that focus on cutting people off from the flock of God should never be used as weapons in a recovery group in my opinion. They cause way too much pain and trauma for people.
Guilt trips and shaming. With guilt being one of the most powerful weapons used on spiritual abuse victims during their abusive experience, it should not be a weapon that is used in a recovery group in my opinion. When people make me feel guilt about spiritual issues, it hinders my recovery. It makes me feel ashamed and unworthy, and does not help me heal.
Okay, I will stop there. Now it's your turn. Let us know what helps you recover from spiritual abuse - and what hinders your recovery.
This should be fun - and healthy.
:cool:
I'll start with sharing what helps me recover and heal:
It helps me to be around people who accept me for who I am in recovery.
It helps me if they don't require me to believe a certain way or perform a certain way to be accepted.
It helps me to know that I am not about to be severed from the group.
It helps me to feel like people can understand what I share with the group.
It helps me to be around people who appreciate my encouragement, and return it.
It helps me to be around people who can allow me to hide every once in a while when I want to be alone.
It helps me to be around people who don't get personal satisfaction by controlling me.
I'm sure there is more but I will leave it at that for now.
Here are some of the things that hinder my recovery:
Requiring me to measure up spiritually. Feeling like I have to measure up spiritually is one of the biggest hurdles for me when trying to recover from spiritual abuse. I don't want to have to live my life to meet someone else's religious expectations.
Fear of rejection and/or severance from the group. Another hurdle to overcome when you leave spiritual abuse is fear of being rejected and cut off from the flock. The last thing I want to feel in a recovery group is fear that I am making God mad or that I might be violating the Bible and doomed for hellfire. Fears of being severed from the group are usually the biggest trigger for anyone who has suffered the traumatic loss of a church family. Verses that focus on cutting people off from the flock of God should never be used as weapons in a recovery group in my opinion. They cause way too much pain and trauma for people.
Guilt trips and shaming. With guilt being one of the most powerful weapons used on spiritual abuse victims during their abusive experience, it should not be a weapon that is used in a recovery group in my opinion. When people make me feel guilt about spiritual issues, it hinders my recovery. It makes me feel ashamed and unworthy, and does not help me heal.
Okay, I will stop there. Now it's your turn. Let us know what helps you recover from spiritual abuse - and what hinders your recovery.
This should be fun - and healthy.
:cool: