"Soul Repair"

[riverdove]

Has anybody read the book, "Soul Repair" yet? I've just got my copy and am just beginning to read it. If you have already read it, what do you think of it?

[Anna Marta]

I have seen this book advertised on the home page of this site, but never ordered it. I looked it up on Amazon and read through the "search inside" pages. It looks very good. Actually I own all of the other books by the author and they were excellent too.

You have spurred me on - I order it! It won't reach Norway for 2 weeks, but I'll check in again after I get it.

Thanks a lot.
AM

[Willow]

I haven't seen this one. I have homework from my counselor to read a different book right now, but will check out the amazon on it.

[Voyager]

Here is the description of the book from Amazon.com:

Product Description
Do you fear that God is angry with you? Do you wonder if God is really for you? if God really loves you? Deep down many of us believe that we are not good enough, and never will be good enough, to have a meaningful relationship with God. This is because we have been spiritually trained in ways that have left us with distorted and inadequate spiritualities of four different kinds:


abusive
anorexic
addictive
codependent


And we are left with a toxic combination of fear and shame. We may try to get it right. We may try to control ourselves and others. We may try to please God and to earn God's love. After a while we find ourselves exhausted and discouraged, and we may feel even more alienated from God.

Jeff VanVonderen, Dale Ryan and Juanita Ryan understand this problem because they have been there both personally and professionally. And they are prepared to help you rebuild your spiritual life. If you find yourself living out a burdensome and unfulfilling spirituality, this book is for you. If you are longing to have a relationship with God that works, this book can show you the way.

About the Author
Jeff VanVonderen is a speaker and consultant in the areas of addiction, family systems and recovery. He is one of the featured interventionists on the Arts & Entertainment Network show Intervention. He is the author of Good News for the Chemically Dependent, Families Where Grace Is in Place, When God's People Let You Down, Tired of Trying to Measure Up and The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.

Dale Ryan is CEO of Christian Recovery International, based in Southern California. He is also an assistant professor of recovery ministry and director of the Fuller Institute for Recovery Ministry at Fuller Theological Seminary. He has consulted with ministries in several countries who are seeking to develop support groups for alcoholics and addicts and their families. He is a coauthor of The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Kindergarten, Rooted in God's Love and Bible study guides published by InterVarsity Press.

Juanita Ryan is a clinical nurse specialist with an M.S.N. in psychiatric mental health nursing. She has taught mental health nursing at Bethel University, Rio Hondo Community College and Biola University. She is currently a therapist in private practice at Brea Family Counseling Center in Brea, California. She is the author or coauthor of over thirty InterVarsity Press Bible studies.


:cool:

[Voyager]

I found this paragraph from the above description very interesting:

And we are left with a toxic combination of fear and shame. We may try to get it right. We may try to control ourselves and others. We may try to please God and to earn God's love. After a while we find ourselves exhausted and discouraged, and we may feel even more alienated from God.

Ain't that the truth! We are a mess when we leave spiritual abuse and it takes time to recover. Getting rid of the fear and shame can be the biggest hurdle. No wonder people try to shame and control forum members around here from time to time... it's a side effect of being spiritually abused. But if we don't forsake it, we will just keep perpetuating the spiritual abuse.

I think I may buy this book. Thanks for bringing it up Riverdove.

:cool:

[riverdove]

AM, Willow and Voyager: I hope you all get your copy soon. So far it's been a really good read and an eye opener for me. I'm a slow reader. It has said many things I have never seen it that way before. I shows how much brainwashing I have been through with the abusive groups. Oye .. it's going to be a long time before I detox myself of some of the group's abusive thinking and finally arrive at the point of grace myself.

[JaniceB]

I read it about a month ago and it was very healing. Great book! Full of good examples of others like me.

[riverdove]

I am now reflecting on how I have developed spiritual addiction that would damage my personal walk with God through the years. Of course, at what point did I pick up this spiritual addiction, I can only look back and say that it has been accumulated over a period of more than 25 years of my active participation in the church life. As Alice in wonderland says, "How can something be aweful and good at the same time?" Here's little excerpt from "Soul Repair" about spiritual addiction.

"Soul Repair" (Pgs 68-71):

"Usually we think of addictions as being about the improper use of negative things, like drugs. When an addiction is about something that is generally understood to be positive--like food, work, sex or spirituality--it is more confusing for us. For that reason, addictive spirituality is not always easy to see, especially in ourselves. Maybe we are active in our church and are deeply committed to its doctrine. Maybe we take prayer seriously and we pray a lot. Maybe we enjoy singing praise songs and listening to Christian radio. But does doing something a lot and enjoying it make us addicts? No, it does not. Spiritual practices are not addictive in and of themselves .......

When addicts stop using, they become extremely agitated. They experience high levels of anxiety and become easily depressed. Addicts who have stopped using become irritable and can easily be provoked to actions that seem out of character for them ... Spiritual addicts who stop abusing an aspect of their spiritual life may suddenly begin compulsively overeating, drinking or acting out sexually in order to compensate for the loss of their usual high.

If there is any question in our minds about whether we suffer from addictive spirituality, we can abstain from the aspect of the spiritual life that is the most compulsive for us and see what happens. If we are hooked on being right, we can stop asserting our views for a while and make an effort to see the point of view of others or even just listen without chiming in. If we are addicted to a spiritual behavior, we can stop that behavior for a period of time. If it is a spiritual feeling that we are hooked on, we can stay away from whatever it is that gives us that feeling. Then we can pay close attention to our mood and our reactions.

Here are some questions that might help us assess the extent to which the addictive process is playing a role in our spirituality:

How comfortable am I when I abstain from a certain spiritual practice?
Do I find myself unusually irritable, restless and depressed when I abstain from it?
Do I find myself acting out in other ways?
Do I begin to mentally obsess about the thing I have quit?
Am I able to quit for as long as I promised? Or do I find myself coming up with an excuse for returning to the bahvior before the period of time is over?
Are other people telling me that my spiritual practices have done harm to our relationship?
Has anyone ever said I'm "too spiritually minded to be of any earthly good"?
Have I ever engaged in spiritual practices more than I intended?
Has my commitment to spiritual practices ever gotten in the way of other important responsibilities?
Over time have I found it necessary to gradually increase the frequency or intensity of my spiritual practices in order to feel less anxious about my relationship with God?
Do I continue certain spiritual practices even though they leave me feeling depressed, anxious and frustrated?
Does the very idea of taking a close look at my spiritual practices make me angry or resentful?

Positive answers to any of these questions might suggest that the addictive process is playing an unwanted role in our spiritual lives."The book also wrote about "Anorexic Spirituality." "It is surrender to love that I really resist. I am willing to accept measured doses of love as long as it doesn't upset the basic framework of my world. That framework is built on the assumption that people get what they deserve. That's what I really want. I want to earn what I get." - David G. Benner, Pg. 38" And like the example of Ted given in the chapter, this was what he thought, "We shouldn't even be thinking about receiving from God, he thought. We need to stay focused on our responsibility to give to God." (Pg. 39)

So, for many years, I've always thought I was only doing the right thing--serving with all the resources and time that I have and trying to give all the pat answers that I could and looking for broken lives to fix. I would never have imagined that I was in spiritual poverty myself because I "knew" so much and was "giving" so much of myself. How could one be so poor when they have so much to give? Back to "Alice in Wonderland," Alice said the answer was it was an oxymoron. This too sounds very strange to me ... I guess I'm still in the denial stage, but trying to wake up to the fact that I've missed something really important on the way.

[Anna Marta]

My book came today... so did my first mystery lover's magazine. Now what does that say about me? :confused:

Do I find out who did it first? :eek: or,,,
Should I repair my soul? :rolleyes:

[Anna Marta]

I succumbed to both.

I must admit that reading this book is not going to be a fast affair. If the questions that follow just the introduction are any indication of the rest of the book, this will not be a read... it be a growing experience.

If you're not ready to be challenged, then in my opinion, don't bother wasting time opening the book. It does not promise to be an informational "5 Steps to Freedom" or pithy-like read. It is the opportunity to go on a journey into one's self and examine oneself honestly.

I anticipate knowing a lot more about me. I also anticipate a few uncomfortable days (weeks?) dissembling and reassembling my belief system.

Really, should I have expected anything less from these authors? They are no simply authors, they are much more like mentors or tour guides for this wilderness journey.

I sincerely hope that the others who also have purchased the book and have decided to take the same journey will be willing to share some of their experiences.

Love
AM

[Hope 98]

If you're not ready to be challenged, then in my opinion, don't bother wasting time opening the book. It does not promise to be an informational "5 Steps to Freedom" or pithy-like read. It is the opportunity to go on a journey into one's self and examine oneself honestly.
Love
AM

I'm becoming interested in reading this - but I can't imagine fitting something so monumental into the stuff in my life right now. I'm tempted to ask permission to do this in a few months

Hehe

Hope

[Anna Marta]

Now dear Hope, who has to give you permission? If it peaks your interest pick it up and read it through and put off the indepth work til later on.

When is that baby due? Are you all ready for the big day?

Love
AM

[Hope 98]

Well - I was joking about permission.

This Sunday, we are having a baby shower. The guest list has somehow climbed up to about 80 people :eek:!! Yes - I'm SCARED!!

The baby is due on March 4th, and we are working on getting ready. That is actually a long unpleasant story wrapped around the boarder and my husband and foolish attitudes and all of Murphy's laws.

They have talked to the pastor I used to work for and arranged a wedding date of May 2, if all goes well.

[Anna Marta]

Well - I was joking about permission.

I was too! :D

That damn Murphy, who invites him to life's most important occasions?

[Hope 98]

I was too! :D

That damn Murphy, who invites him to life's most important occasions?

yeah - some of us theorize that Murphy is just another name for satan...

just a theory...