What matters

[Anna Marta]

Hi Friends,

Here I sit on the sofa at my son's house. I am getting ready to pack the bags to move back to my daughter's with the other 3 grand kids. I am to accompany my daughter to an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to discuss her MRI and what can be done realisitically to help with the back pain that limits her life. I am the Duracell Bunny of Grammy's this trip.

In keeping up with my record, the annual Upper respiratory infection has reared its' ugly head and I shall be calling the doctor with whom I have an annual relationship. It appears that it takes me 3 weeks from being locked in the bacterial tube bomb (aka airplane) until full blown infection takes hold.

Considering my cousin in hospice care, my daughter's recent health issues, my son's recent run-in with menengitis, Steinar's bout of Lyme Disease not yet fully under control, my roller coaster with this immune system and the world's precarious financial situation - I am prompted to tally up what matters and what is not so critical.


I don't know if anyone else gets this way at this time of year, or because of the world's delicate condition, but I am definitedly feeling the need to take stock. These are the questions that have popped up this morning.

What difference would the reality of God make in regards to my personal outlook on eternity.
What do I want out of life? What is truly important?
How much do the lives of others mean to me?
Is happiness a goal or a transient state of being?
What does fulfilled look and feel like?
Am I the kind of person who can tolerate complacency?
Is disagreement the same as rejection, or can it just seem that way?
What kind of impact has my life had on the world around me and the people in it,,, and am I at peace with that or do I need to do something about it?
If I discovered that I should die tomorrow, what would I do with the rest of today?
I shall be spending a few days in close companionship with my journal to try to wrestle with my thoughts. I miss my Steinar who is again on the other side of the ocean. My morning mental wanderings are usually the fodder for our after dinner conversations. I miss him so very very much.

:) Anna Marta

[Jerry]

What difference would the reality of God make in regards to my personal outlook on eternity.
What do I want out of life? What is truly important?
How much do the lives of others mean to me?
Is happiness a goal or a transient state of being?
What does fulfilled look and feel like?
Am I the kind of person who can tolerate complacency?
Is disagreement the same as rejection, or can it just seem that way?
What kind of impact has my life had on the world around me and the people in it,,, and am I at peace with that or do I need to do something about it?
If I discovered that I should die tomorrow, what would I do with the rest of today?


My take on your questions,,,,,,This is interesting let's make it a survey ;)


Ans 1.....It becomes more important as we age.When your half way there,,,,you stop disbelieving in "there"........

Ans 2.....My wifes welfare......You see she graciously consented to to spend the bulk of her life with me,,,,,,,no small gift....

Ans 3.....Everything,,,,,,,if we had no one with whom to share our gifts we could have just as well been a dog or a cat or something........

Ans 4..... Neither,,,,,,,,,,happiness is a choice.....

Ans 5.....The quite time in the middle of the night,,,,,,,,,,,,at the 2-0-clock feeding ........

Ans 6.....Ha !!!!!!!!

Ans 7.....Disagreement is the same as rejection to the childish and self-centered.........

Ans 8 ..... That God will decide.......

Ans 9.....Live it !!!!!! The way I see it you can live till you die,,,,,,,,,or you can die longer..........


Well that was fun :D

[Voyager]

Is disagreement the same as rejection, or can it just seem that way?

I have struggled with that one - especially when people vehemently disagree with me and criticize my beliefs (or lack thereof). I think people who were neglected or abandoned as children struggle with this a lot. Everywhere they turn they are expecting it to happen again, and even a simple criticism can become a trigger for them. I realize I am not alone, and that there are millions of people who are hyper-sensitive to criticism. It can be hard to separate criticism from rejection, especially if you have low self esteem. It's like a built-in red flag that goes up whenever you feel that someone is shaming you. You just automatically figure that criticism = you don't like me or want me in your life. It brings back feelings you had as a child when criticism was an integral part of the rejection and abandonment that you endured, and the defensive triggers that you developed as a child are still there.

:cool:

[Spiny Norman]

What difference would the reality of God make in regards to my personal outlook on eternity.
What do I want out of life? What is truly important?
How much do the lives of others mean to me?
Is happiness a goal or a transient state of being?
What does fulfilled look and feel like?
Am I the kind of person who can tolerate complacency?
Is disagreement the same as rejection, or can it just seem that way?
What kind of impact has my life had on the world around me and the people in it,,, and am I at peace with that or do I need to do something about it?
If I discovered that I should die tomorrow, what would I do with the rest of today?
Great questions. I'll be interested to read your responses. Mine are:

1. it depends on the God in question. The one I believe in? Huge difference!

2. I want to know God, in a personal way. I have lots of questions, and He is the only one equipped to answer them all. In terms of earthly life? I have written a list of 100 things I want to do/achieve in this life. So far, I have achieved just 3 of them. Some of them are outside of my power to control, so I have to wait and see whether they become possible.

3. Honestly? My family, their lives mean a lot to me, but I recognise that I am basically a selfish little sod who seeks the best for himself. I don't like that about me.

4. Happiness is a gift. Some get to enjoy it. Fewer still learn how to attract it. I'm not a very happy person, however I am mostly contented, so I make do with that.

5. Fulfilled? Sounds like a destination. I suspect one needs to be contented first, before one can be fulfilled. So maybe I'm partly there?!

6. Complacency? No, I detest it when I see it in others. If they have the power to change something for the better, but don't do so, then complain about the fact that things haven't changed, that drives me crazy.

7. Disgreement <> rejection ... I think rejection ultimately rejects the person ... whereas disagreement over issues, facts or ideas need not involve the person.

8. Impact? Bugger all impact. I'm like a leech on humanity's arse. There's very few that aren't I reckon.

9. Rest of today? Just let my family know that I love them, that I am proud of them, and I would spend the rest of the day enjoying the sunshine and thinking about God.

[JaniceB]

I think people who were neglected or abandoned as children struggle with this a lot. Everywhere they turn they are expecting it to happen again, and even a simple criticism can become a trigger for them. I realize I am not alone, and that there are millions of people who are hyper-sensitive to criticism.

Ain't it the truth?! I still struggle with this one too. Although I know criticism isn't the same as rejection it feels that way because that's how my parents rejected me. Preaching and moaning and groaning about what a useless being I was.

I guess it's like anything else we need to recover from. We just have to keep acknowledging both our feelings and reality. That can be a major analysis project at time but progress is more important than perfection.

[Ameen]

I cannot answer the first question for obvious reasons, but here is what I think of the other questions.

What do I want out of life? What is truly important?

I want to keep doing what I am doing now: Teaching English as a Second Language and helping people with OCD. These are two of the most important things in my life, and I am glad that I enjoy activities that benefit others. Teaching even pays, which is remarkable. Imagine getting paid for something you love!

On a less altruistic level (since I am as self-centered as I am altruistic)... Stop procrastinating and get my second book out already! Continue my vocal work and find better places to perform so I can feed my ego with even more applause. Learn more languages. Find a husband and just melt in his arms.

How much do the lives of others mean to me?

Someone I care for: As much as my own life means to me.

Others: A lot. They have the same needs and feelings, after all.

But, that does not mean I will let them abuse me the way I have in the past. I will defend myself.

Is happiness a goal or a transient state of being?

Happiness is an illusion. We spend most of our time in a neutral state that is neither happy nor unhappy. There are times when we feel very happy and times when we feel very unhappy. If we can remember the happy times when we are neutral or unhappy, life is sweeter. Still, no one lives the life of a hippy happy Walt Disney cartoon.

What does fulfilled look and feel like?

If you have ever changed someone's life, you need not ask the question.

Still, if I have to put it in words (and use other examples): The high I get when I sing well or when I read something I love or when I see a DVD that moves me or when I look at great art in a museum or when I walk around a great city like Brussels or Paris or... Fulfillment comes in pieces here and there; it is not a permanent state--although it does recreate itself.

Am I the kind of person who can tolerate complacency?

I can't answer this question since the word has both positive and negative connotations, and I need to know which I should read into it in this question. I will say, though, that I cannot tolerate mediocrity and strive to be anything but one of the crowd.

Is disagreement the same as rejection, or can it just seem that way?

Disagreement is healthy and should be encouraged. If everyone agreed with me on everything, I'd be bored to tears.

However, there are times when the other person intends for the person he or she is disagreeing with to feel rejected. It is a sword in the hands of a manipulator, and it can cut through our sense of well being.

What kind of impact has my life had on the world around me and the people in it

Sometimes positive and sometimes negative.

,,, and am I at peace with that or do I need to do something about it?

That's the way it is for everyone.

I am at peace with the good I have done, and I hope to do better in other things.

If I discovered that I should die tomorrow, what would I do with the rest of today?

1. Make sure my parents, sister and best friend will all be O.K. without me.

2. Eat a lot of chocolate and have a lot of sex.

In reason,

Ameen

[Willow]

[QUOTE=Anna Marta;64448]

If I discovered that I should die tomorrow, what would I do with the rest of today?


This is a good thought. I think all I'd have time to do is call everyone up and say goodbye and cry with them.

[Anna Marta]

Hi Friends,

In keeping up with my record, the annual Upper respiratory infection has reared its' ugly head and I shall be calling the doctor with whom I have an annual relationship. It appears that it takes me 3 weeks from being locked in the bacterial tube bomb (aka airplane) until full blown infection takes hold.
:) Anna Marta

Called the doctor and again within 5 days I went from the sniffles of a head cold to early pneumonia and a full blown sinus infection. :mad:

I am in bed and downright sick today. Could use some prayer that this clears up before I have to fly again.

Love
Anna Marta

[riverdove]

It's hard enough to be taking care of yourself in this situation, not to mention that you have loved ones who are also sick to be concerned for. It's definitely a challenging situation. Prayers for you and yours and hope for speedy recovery. Take care Anna Marta.

[Grey]

Sending prayers... Hope you feel better soon