a happy thought :)

[outcast]

This afternoon I met with the music minister at my church to discuss the recording of a demo of some of the worship songs I had written at the cult church. These songs were highly praised for their quality there, but I didn't trust the opinions I was hearing concerning them b/c I know how cults practice the love bombing technique.

When we had joined our new church this past summer, I had played one of my songs for my music minister and he really liked it. He then offered to help me record the demo for free and he seemed really excited to help me get these songs out to publishers.

As we met today, I played the rest of my songs for him that I wanted to record and we discussed how to proceed with this project.

I was blown away completely by the fact that he offered today to do all the things with my music that I do not know how to do. He offered to score everything for me and to record a background instrumental for us to practice with so that we can be ready to record by march.

While he gave me advice and told me all the things he was willing to help me with, it was hard not to tear up. I explained to him that I had not been in a church in a long time that was willing to bless its congregants in such a way.

You see, for me to record a demo would cost at least a thousand dollars. Not to mention the fact that I don't know how to score music since I play piano by chords and by ear.

He understood my viewpoint and he agreed how sad it was that more churches do not support their members, especially when said members are faithful to serve the church for free. Instead we are often asked to do even more.

Conversely his attitude is quite the opposite. Over the past several months he has been genuinely excited to help me accomplish this project. Furthermore, he's given me all the tools I was lacking to finish it before.

I am excited and encouraged with this situaition. To me, it is a confirmation that we are indeed in a healthy church. I am also thrilled and feeling very peaceful with the timing of this project.

I wanted to post this to let you all know that there are still good churches out there. Just keep looking.

[Jerry]

Outcast,,,,,,,he sounds like a good guy :D

[Anna Marta]

WONDERFUL- So happy for you Outcast !!!! Keeping this project in our thoughts and prayers.

Love
AM

[Grey]

Very exciting, and very encouraging. I am happy for such blessings for you. :)

[outcast]

Thanks. :) I know we here on the forum do not often hear good news about churches, so I try not to hestitate to share mine.

When I e-mailed the mp3s of the songs for the projects, I thanked him again for showing me such support. His response was not religious or anything, he just said "that is what the family of God does." Then he sai he was so glad we were at this church.

I thought deeply about that, and I believe he is right. Healthy churches should behave this way. I pray that others here will find such a church.

I do appreciate the prayers for this project. Ironically, when I was at my old churches, people often tried to pressure me to record my songs and promote them, but I had no resources to do so. Now, I feel so much like the timing is right for this to finally happen. I still covet your prayers though.

[hornblower]

That is so cool outcast, Im happy for you.
I have always known that there are good 'God' people out there in churches, running them and the entire nine yards. I think the reason I got off track was in looking to them to make my life what I wanted it to be, sort of anyway. I still dont think I was really in a cult, maybe it was, I dont know, but it would be hard for a cult to get a hold on me. Im way too outspoken, always was.
In any case I used to be a part of a very healthy good church. The pastor and the asst pastor, a woman who also had a counseling degree, were both very open and knowledgeable. Unfortunately a movement came to oust the pastor and it was a methodist church. I still see him and his wife occasionally.
So anyway good places do exist.
Or well meaning people anyway.
I wonder if Ill ever get back into it again Im so radically on the other side now.

[outcast]

That is so cool outcast, Im happy for you.
I have always known that there are good 'God' people out there in churches, running them and the entire nine yards. I think the reason I got off track was in looking to them to make my life what I wanted it to be, sort of anyway. I still dont think I was really in a cult, maybe it was, I dont know, but it would be hard for a cult to get a hold on me. Im way too outspoken, always was.
In any case I used to be a part of a very healthy good church. The pastor and the asst pastor, a woman who also had a counseling degree, were both very open and knowledgeable. Unfortunately a movement came to oust the pastor and it was a methodist church. I still see him and his wife occasionally.
So anyway good places do exist.
Or well meaning people anyway.
I wonder if Ill ever get back into it again Im so radically on the other side now.


I can identify with the sentiments expressed here. I think we are all oftentimes guilty of wanting a church to help us make our life what we want it to be. It is a hard temptation to resist and one I still fight constantly.

I think that you should just give yourself more time. I know from what you've shared here that you have been through some of the most traumatic church experiences I've ever heard of.

I think that radically being on the other side is even a process of healing. I know I still have days where I feel that way too and I think that we swing to the opposite end of things in order to find balance in our lives again.

The important thing here IMHO is that you haven't given up on yourself. You have grown alot in the past 3 years I've been on this forum and I know that you are going to be okay. ((((hornblower)))). :) Much love to you dear.