not to be redundant. :P

[outcast]

But sometimes I just get so tired of feeling like others don't understand where we all are coming from concerning church and SA. I know I can never fully expect anyone to comprehend my hurt and pain, but I do feel that most of the time the majority of the church is in denial that this stuff is even going on. GRRR!!

OTOH, I also get irritated with myself because I feel like right now I am living my life and not really letting myself feel or get truly connected to others. I know this is partly because I maybe haven't really taken the time to think deeply about things or because now is not the right time to process. Really, I'm not sure which is the case.

I know that on this forum I'm not the only one who feels like this though, and I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading.:D

[ex-shep]

It does feel someways like one stepped off a spaceship from Mars and know one understands. That can be maddening. Curiously when I left my groups I would talk to anyone who would listen such as co-workers or even other passengers on the bus. It was a win win. It got the cult junk out of my system and also educated others about abusive groups. I had one co-worker who was in an equally nutty pentecostal church. Her experiences were quite confirming. I am sure other forum members would understandably dive for cover at the thought; however it was helpful for me at the time.

[FreeinJesus]

... Curiously when I left my groups I would talk to anyone who would listen ....

:D I can relate to that one! I think all those years of holding everything IN....I exploded!:D:o I'm sure there are folks who think I'm a nutcase, but ...oh well.:o:rolleyes:

[Reg]

:D I can relate to that one! I think all those years of holding everything IN....I exploded!:D:o I'm sure there are folks who think I'm a nutcase, but ...oh well.:o:rolleyes:
Likewise FIJ. However, I have learned to test the waters first and find out if the other person is familiar with SA. I simply ask the question. Do you know what spiritual abuse is? Mostly, I don't even like to use the term SA. I prefer to say bad church experience that can lead to a discussion of SA.

[FreeinJesus]

Likewise FIJ. However, I have learned to test the waters first and find out if the other person is familiar with SA. I simply ask the question. Do you know what spiritual abuse is? Mostly, I don't even like to use the term SA. I prefer to say bad church experience that can lead to a discussion of SA.

Yes Reg. We've been out for over 1-1/2 years & I'm a lot better now. I don't talk about it nearly as much & I'm much more careful with who I talk to about SA.

I think there are a lot of people who have no idea what SA is. Someone said on an ex-WCoG that if you've never been damaged & hurt by religion then there's much you will never understand. I think that's really true.

[ex-shep]

:D I can relate to that one! I think all those years of holding everything IN....I exploded!:D:o I'm sure there are folks who think I'm a nutcase, but ...oh well.:o:rolleyes:


There must have been some. Most were interested and supportive. It is interesting how that turned out.

[outcast]

Hubby and I had an interesting discussion about this tonight. I know that even when no one else gets what I've been through, he does. That, at least, is comforting.

I like the analogy of feeling like someone from mars. Very applicable.

I too test the waters with people before using any SA jargon. Most are receptive and have been through similar experiences (isn't that sad)? They just don't formalize it the way we've learned to do.

I guess I just needed to admit that I am frustrated with this at times and with others lack of understanding or dismissal of it. This is compounded by the fact that my new workplace is turning out to be abusive as well. Ironically, the new superintendent of the district is a deacon in my church. But, he is not a fair representation of the heart of my new church, thank god.

The superintendent abuses our principal who, in turn, tries to abuse us. I no longer refuse to allow it and the situation in and of itself does force me to deal with my issues. I guess God knows what he's doing with all this, so I trust him to help me deal with each issue according to what he thinks is important.

It has been theraputic just to vent about it. :)

[Anna Marta]

I know that even when no one else gets what I've been through, he does. That, at least, is comforting.

I like the analogy of feeling like someone from mars. Very applicable.

I guess God knows what he's doing with all this, so I trust him to help me deal with each issue according to what he thinks is important.

It has been therapeutic just to vent about it. :)

Dear Outcast,

Ditto when it comes to the importance of husbands "getting it". It brings me comfort and security to know my husband can be my safe place.

The analogy of coming from another planet has been applicable for me too in another area of my life. When I was diagnosed with what I was told is a terminal illness it was like I stepped through a door into another dimension where I could still see everyone around me, but they could no longer touch my reality. They lived in a world where death was still a concept - when for me it had become a very real and imminent reality and because of this, I needed to live in a whole other way. I still do not take any (healthy-feel good) day I have for granted. We cling to our days and wring the most out of as many as we can. No one who has not been there can truly identify. Often just like those who have not experienced SA do to those victims, they make light of the pain and energy it takes to cope and come to terms with a different kind of life.

Just like talking about SA this is not something I talk about with people who I think cannot comprehend it because it is like throwing a flat ball that flops on the floor between us.

We are where we are when it comes to SA. I think, for me, it is unrealistic to expect those who have no idea what it is like to be abused to be able to give me more than superficially socially correct responses.

Therapeutic venting is an important part of this forum, for me anyway...

God absolutely does know what He is doing, it is me and the people around me who seem to give Him more than enough to do.

Love
AM

[ex-shep]

Sadly my parents could not have been bothered when I was in my group nor recovering. My relatives, particularly my uncle on my mother's side, could not have been more supportive. He took an interest in Tammy and the loss that I suffered. He helped me talk through the grief. I had several cousins who took the time to listen and be supportive. I also had a high school buddy who ran an ice cream shop. He listened and allowed me to keep a tab. I have to thank him some day for that gesture.

[Jerry]

Ya know what ???? I think spiritual growth is beyond our comprehension and because that thought terrifies us,we busy ourselves with effort.We like to think we have a modicum of control.In reality we are being swept along in a river of experience filled with torrents,eddys,and backwash's.So here we are,,,,suffering the pain of wounds we never bargained for.When someone finally forces us to face the terror we dread by talking about it,,,,,we withdraw into a fetal position,,,huddle over our little pile of bromides,,,,and make simple nodding movements with our heads......Somewhere down deep ,,,,,,,,,,,,,we grow ;)

[Anna Marta]

Ya know what ???? I think spiritual growth is beyond our comprehension and because that thought terrifies us,we busy ourselves with effort.We like to think we have a modicum of control.In reality we are being swept along in a river of experience filled with torrents,eddys,and backwash's.So here we are,,,,suffering the pain of wounds we never bargained for.When someone finally forces us to face the terror we dread by talking about it,,,,,we withdraw into a fetal position,,,huddle over our little pile of bromides,,,,and make simple nodding movements with our heads......Somewhere down deep ,,,,,,,,,,,,,we grow ;)

Profound! Thank you dear Jerry.

Love
AM

[ex-shep]

Profound! Thank you dear Jerry.

Love
AM

Ditto