The Nail is Hit on the Head Again

[Anna Marta]

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Dec 10, 2008

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How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God. Where is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is centered on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our faith will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough. Often we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been taught does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their thoughts and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to engage in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our faith is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People of real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.
Amen.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

[Anna Marta]

It is not a sign of failure to engage in this hard work.
It is a sign of courage.
And it is a sign that our faith is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life.
People of real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in their heart.


Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.


This prayer from the Ryans touches me in a way only you people on this forum could possibly understand. Those of us who have walked the hard path know only too well how much pain is involved with finding "The Way" again.

I have so much respect for each of us as we continue to struggle and not give up, even though we sometimes rant and rave at each other in our pain because it would be so much easier on some days to give it all up in the false belief that there-in lies the path to peace.

You know that "narrow road" the bible talks about? I think that is the road we are on... the road that squeezes you in some inexplicable way to keep going forward and to fight and struggle until somehow in some way faith becomes "who" we are not a label from some church denomination.

Everybody believes in "Something" because it is not possible to believe in nothing! Even to say there is no God is to believe something - that one needs proof to substanstiate.

[JaniceB]

You know that "narrow road" the bible talks about? I think that is the road we are on... the road that squeezes you in some inexplicable way to keep going forward and to fight and struggle until somehow in some way faith becomes "who" we are not a label from some church denomination.

It would indeed be so much easier to let someone else tell me what is right but I can't go there anymore. I just can't do it. Something about having seen the light makes it impossible.

Now I'm investigating what got me into to it in the first place? How do other people get taken in? Why am I investigating? I don't know. Maybe because the question won't leave me alone.

[Anna Marta]

Now I'm investigating what got me into to it in the first place? How do other people get taken in? Why am I investigating? I don't know. Maybe because the question won't leave me alone.

Me too.... :confused: