Is this how you treat your children?

[rodgertutt]

Is this how you treat your children?

When I was seven my stepmother lit a fire in a beaker and said to me, "If you don't open your heart's door to Jesus and invite Him in, God is going to put you into a fire much bigger and hotter than that after you die and He will never ever let you get out of it.”
So in my heart I prayed the way she said that I had to.

Awhile later she said it's obvious that you still are not saved because you are still such a bad boy.
At that point in time I felt totally hopeless, and I was sure that God had given up on me.

My Dad used to beat me with a bamboo cane repeatedly shouting "In Jesus Name, in Jesus Name," until the welts on my legs would bleed. He told me that it was easy to tell at an early age that I was going to go to hell.

Then they both sent me away to a foster home because they could no longer cope with my bad behavior. My real mother had died giving birth to me. My Dad's second wife had died at child birth too but the child did not live either.

So at the age of seven I became convinced that everyone had given up on me, including God.

Later, at the age of 28 (I'm 69 now) I began a twelve year nervous breakdown over my inability to successfully emotionally cope with the idea that God lets any creature suffer forever. I was only able to recover by gradually learning that there are no verses in the Bible that teach endless suffering in hell for anyone. See

http://www.tentmaker.org/books/BibleThreateningsExplained.html

From Rodger Tutt in Toronto, Canada
“That God may be All in all” 1Cor.15:28

[ex-shep]

It saddens me when Christianity is abused and justifications are made in the name of Jesus. Your complaints are most understandable. It is obvious why such abuses make alternative religions look quite attractive. Not all Christians are like your parents. Sad to say such abuses can really sour a healthy walk with God.

I am not sure if you have posted before or not. If this your first time here, welcome aboard. Please make yourself at home. There are many of us who have been there, seen it, done that and got the T shirt and expired Green Stamps. I can easily relate to your plight. I am sure many others will do the same as they check the posts. Virtual coffee pot is always brewing. Glad you are here. Keep coming back.

[JaniceB]

My Dad used to beat me with a bamboo cane repeatedly shouting "In Jesus Name, in Jesus Name," until the welts on my legs would bleed. He told me that it was easy to tell at an early age that I was going to go to hell.

That is an unconscionable way to treat a child! My parents abused me too but not in the name of Jesus. I got most of that at church. It is hard enough to recover without hearing that Jesus wanted you beaten.

I hope you find healing here. I certainly am. It looks as if you've begun the process and I'm glad for that and I thank you for the link. It looks very interesting.

I believe that God truly is love and that He wants us to behave a certain way because it's good for us but He isn't into punishment or even testing us. He doesn't have to test us because life does that. He's there for us when the testing comes even though it may be hard to see Him because of the pain and tears. When it's hard for me to believe that I just review the many little miracles that have happened in my life and it starts to bring me back.

JaniceB

[dougjb]

Hi rodgertutt,
I understand your situation because was on the child abuse train and it was a miserable time. I rejected the Christian faith in my youth because my parents misrepresented the Christian faith to me. I realize now that I was rejecting the misrepresentation of Christianity. With the grace and mercy of God heard and received the true message of the gospel. Over the last 29 years, I have had some struggles but God is faithful to help me through it. I pray that the LORD will keep you and bless you.

dougjb
some food for thought

[SpinningHead]

Sweetie,

That 7-year old boy did not need to fear hell (or have the fear of hell beaten into him!)...your parents who beat you till' you bled in the name of Jesus, on the other hand...to actually beat and abuse a child in the precious name of our gentle-with-children Lord Jesus??? :confused:

[hornblower]

So true Spinning I often think of that scripture about 'if anyone does anything to a small child to turn him away from heaven or cause him to stumble, I think it says, it would be better for that person to have a large anvil placed around their neck and for them to be drown into the sea.............

I cannot imagine such a horrid thing happening but alas I have suffered my dearest friend too with my own form of growing up under the idea of never being good enough.

I would venture to say with great assurance on this fact that this one idea that God hated me and thinks of me as trash and no good at all is what ruined my entire life.

I still fight this idea every single day. Just last week Jesus gave me the beginning of a huge healing concerning some severe (severe to me anyway) spiritual abuse when I was only nine years old in her church.
I have always known that this happened to me but I didnt give it much thought as these kinds of things happened a lot to me as a child.

My Mother dropped me off at the home of bereaved mother whose son (nine years old also) had drowned the previous day. This sweet young boy was (in love) with me. Those people there took me to the funeral home and made me kiss his face in the casket.
All of them learing at the sight.

I have put this blame on myself all of my life and I am now 63 years old. How well I can understand your pain my dear friend. My parents didnt beat me in the name of Jesus..........they were not like that they just believed I was bad to the core...........

NO CHILD is ever bad!
Hard for us to understand maybe.
Difficult to get them to do what we want them to do.
I know this because I have worked with at least 1000 children in my lifetime and not one of them was ever bad. Sick at heart and mind maybe but not bad.
There have been two of those children in all of that number that were so ill I could not reach them and Im sure no one could.
Many many more I saw abused in ways Im sure that God is so angry about that there is no telling what He will do to those who did the things they did to them, there will be NO excuse for them, no place to run too, no hiding at all when He comes.

Its very hard if I would say absolutely impossibel to forgive these people that did these things to us and to other children but............I do ask God too.

I have learned even though I am hurt and bleeding now from it all that it does no good to look at this and hate them..........I do hate what they do and did and its absolutely so important to hate evil........but the people like my Mother who did what she did to me, was hurt so much more as a child than I was, that this is what makes them sick to the point of doing it to their own children what was more than done to them.

My own son says that his child hood was perfect, Im sure he is overstating it, but the other day when I told him that there is no telling what he grew up with since I had no upbringing but verbal abuse and physical according to todays standards anyway, I dont look at my beatings with that same kind of view, maybe I should, but I dont.
I did have whelps.......I thought they would bleed but they didnt.........switches and belts..........nothing they could do would change me. IF they could catch me!
My son says he doesnt understand that if I was so abused how could his life have been so good?
Jesus. Thats how. I beleived Jesus loved me. AND you know I think it might be because I saw it all for what it was..........
I do think he has it wrong anyway because I do see a lot that happened to him that he doesnt deal with but thats not for me to say its for him.....I am here if he needs me for anything at all. I will hopefully always see the truth. I did spank my children.
It only took a couple of times.
All it was for was to get their attention. Two or three swats........no whelps I dont think anyway.......it was a spoon, a wooden spoon. A Mothers hand just doesnt cut it I found out quickley.
I tried time out and if it works for you, fine, but in my daughters case it was impossible. I was the one that was paying the price, not her. (nothings changed about that either)They both were about four or five years old.

I dont think I will ver be sorry I did that. My son makes a big thing about it to his children to embarass me..........they dont spank........
he knows the real truth though that I loved them so much I wanted them to be good people. People that care about the things and other people around them and their property too. I wanted them to be responsible and to know how to take good care of themselves.
They are both that way completely. My daughter is ill but I dont think it was my doing.
She doesnt ever say it is. Its hard for me to believe they love me as I still believe I am unlovable.
63 years old and it never goes away.

[rodgertutt]

I have found your responses to my abuse post very comforting. Thank you all.

I have had the following quote memorized for many years and I frequently use it on forums. It has been, and still is a HUGE comfort to me so I love to share it!!

“God’s purposes are so vast and glorious, beyond all guessing now, that when they are achieved and consummated, all our sufferings and sorrows of today, even the agonies that nearly break our faith, the disasters that well nigh overwhelm us, shall, seen from that fair country where God’s age long dreams come true, bulk as little as bulk now the pieces of a broken toy upon a nursery floor, over which, thinking that all our little world was in ruins, we cried ourselves to sleep.”

Dr. Leslie Weatherhead

http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/savior-of-the-world/godislove.html

[hornblower]

that is so beautiful and Ill bet you its so very true because as I am coming to terms with everyday my dearest suffering friend........we are His chioldren and He would love it if our toys never broke at all.........just as we are with our own children, He loves us even more than we can ever imagine it.

I can barely believe it but I am at this very moment almost laughing from my 'd's little episodes...........she helped me this morning with my latest trial of SA yesterday.

When I see things through Gods eyes all of my troubles begin to disapear but when I look through what the world does and expects from me and others I am torn asunder.

[Jerry]

Dear Rodger,,,
Those people who taught that little boy he would burn in hell have pronounced their own judgment....... You see ,,,,,children are as blank slates that we write on.So what are we judged by?????,,,,,,what we have written of course ;)

[leelees]

oh my god thats horrific..i cant say anything your thread, im truly shocked!