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Willow
07-15-2008, 10:40 AM
NACR Daily Meditation for Tuesday, 7/15/2008

by Dale and Juanita Ryan

(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
I Corinthians 13:3

We need to experience loving relationships in order to heal and grow. In loving relationships we experience the safety that allows us to face the truth. In loving relationships we experience the support we need to begin to change. And in loving relationships we learn that we are lovable and valuable.

Because we have been wounded in relationships, our instinct is often to run from relationships. We don't want to be hurt again. This leaves an enormous void in our souls. And it is this void which we desperately try to fill with addictions and compulsions of various kinds. This text focuses on two manifestations of religious addiction (compulsive altruism and religiously motivated self-abuse) and sums up the result: I gain nothing. The same could be said of all of our addictions. "I deliver my body to be burned" and "I gain nothing" are an accurate description not only of a particular kind of religious addiction but also of chemial addiction, work addiction, sexual addiction and relationship addiction, as well as many self-abusive compulsions.

We gain nothing for all the time and effort we spend on trying to numb the pain. It does not achieve the desired result. The void remains.

Although loving fellowship may be frightening for us, it is the path to recovery. The vulnerabilities of intimacy may remind us of earlier times of terror in life, but there is no way to recover in isolation. The net result of compulsions and addictions is "I gain nothing." But the net result of recovery is very different. There is something to be gained by all the hard work that recovery requires. Recovery builds in us a capacity to receive love and a capacity to give love to others. And that is a real gain.

May God grant you the courage you need today to pursue loving fellowship.

Lord, you see my guarded heart.
You see the fears that make me run from love.
What I fear is what I want most.
I want to love and to be loved.
Give me courage to open my heart to love today.
Amen.<

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

Janice
07-15-2008, 11:00 AM
I LOVE YOU (((((((((((((((((AMY))))))))))))))!!!

Spiny Norman
07-15-2008, 06:11 PM
You wrote:
"What I fear is what I want most"

That's a perceptive observation. I suspect part of the reason is that we don't want to risk being rejected in love, so we hold back and thereby deny ourselves the possiblity of experiencing that love. Diabolical, but that's how many seem to be wired.

I have another saying, which I trot out as a joke on those humourous occasions when I see myself displaying behaviour that is like my parents:

"I have become that which I feared"

Now if only that were true of love ... then Christ's work in me would be complete.

leelees
07-16-2008, 11:11 AM
thankyou soooo much willow, that was great!
i know that God is getting me to a point where im ready for a relationship......but i do wish He'd hurry up heh

dougjb
07-16-2008, 11:50 AM
Hi willow,
Good post! It is amazing how loving your neighbor can correct a lot of problems in life and bring a lot of fulfillment in life. I hope that the church can recapture what true Christian community is all about.:D

dougjb
some food for thought

Janice
07-16-2008, 01:28 PM
If God always did the the WAY we wanted WHEN we wanted it, then we would have no reason to trust Him then now would we? ;)



thankyou soooo much willow, that was great!
i know that God is getting me to a point where im ready for a relationship......but i do wish He'd hurry up heh

leelees
07-16-2008, 03:38 PM
heh i know willow, im just a bit over excited at times thats all!..i hate waiting, God knows this and thats why he's making me wait lol....darn and blast :D

hornblower
07-16-2008, 09:10 PM
wow what a good post here I am so here in this place of needing this love from a friendship or what I wish it would be is my husband of course. At times its there others not really most of the time not.

What does this statement mean exactly? (compulsive altruism and religiously motivated self-abuse)

Willow
07-17-2008, 10:41 AM
wow what a good post here I am so here in this place of needing this love from a friendship or what I wish it would be is my husband of course. At times its there others not really most of the time not.

What does this statement mean exactly? (compulsive altruism and religiously motivated self-abuse)

Heya HB... To me it means... doing all kinds of stuff to try to buy people's affection or to try to buy god's favor. Religious self abuse... I guess that could mean disregarding your own well being completely to work yourself compulsively - hoping that somehow it will make people/god will love you.