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leelees
07-05-2008, 05:03 AM
i went out last night for a works party, i had a number of rums (i was dressed as a pirate) and got a bit drunk but not hugely, got one hours sleep last night as i stayed around someones house and drank vodka all the way through, but still wasnt too drunk at all, but merry... got in this morning and spoke to someone on msn who said to me ...

"lol :P not very christian like is it NO lol"

me- "thanks"

":P lol"

"well its true"

me- "i dont need to hear that" (slightly annoyed at the judgemental way shes talking to me)

"lol fine"

"yh you say ur a christian and you go and get drunk it ant good"

me- "dont judge what i do"

"its true"





im really really p****d off at that, i feel really low now and i ended up cutting my leg to try and help, i feel really angry and fustrated inside...its not like i go out all the time getting drunk as i live a distance from work so hardly ever drink really, i didnt this time for once cos its not often i go out! i feel like im doomed to hell and that i cant turn to God anymore cos im got a little drunk last night...i feel really depressed
:(:(:(

Willow
07-05-2008, 05:36 AM
(((((((((((LEELEES))))))))))
She was just jealous coz she isn't free enough to have fun like that. Don't let her take it away from you hon! And please don't hurt our LeeLees! She's very valuable and we don't want her hurt!

Hope 98
07-05-2008, 07:00 AM
Thinkin....

heard a sermon at one point that struck me as having to be true:

Conviction that comes from the Holy Spirit draws you toward God.

If you feel condemned and pushed away from God, it is an accusation from the enemy.

If it makes you feel awful, you may ignore it, as NOT FROM GOD.

Hope that helps :o

Reg
07-05-2008, 07:28 AM
leelees,

I think it's called a hangover. :)

leelees
07-06-2008, 03:04 PM
its still hugely bothering me...i cried a lot the past few days...dont know whats the matter with me, EVERYTHING is getting me stressed, ive just wanted to jump in front a car the past couple of days! :(

riverdove
07-06-2008, 04:52 PM
Leelees, you're going through a very difficult time now and you're hurt and in pain. It's sad that sometimes the people we meet are more interested in talking than listening, or worse still, judging. It seems you already know what's good or not good for yourself with regards to drinking. Jesus is a good shepherd and His voice is gentle because He knows how hard we struggle. I struggle a lot too by what others say of me. I'm learning that there are some old tapes way back from my own dysfunctional family background that I need to erase. Plus the abusive church situation only compounded the problem. It's not easy and it will take this one whole life to work things out. Many things that happened to me in the past, really were not what I woulld have chosen. I always imagine if Jesus was still on earth, He would definitely seek out people like us first. He was most gentle with the prostitute who the crowd wanted to stone. It is for the outcast that he came and not for the righteous ones. That msn person is nobody to judge you. They don't know who you are and you don't know who they are. If I could imagine Jesus speaking to you right now, He probably would have put His arm around you and said, "Leelees my child, I love you and it's for you that I came." Jesus will be crying if you do anything to hurt yourself ..... Please do take care Leelees and feel better soon.

hornblower
07-06-2008, 05:04 PM
Leelees I so agrewe with Hope about these things. Ive gotten high and I dont think Im not a Christian. David got drunk and danced before the Lord naked and it didnt bother God one bit, in fact when his wife thought he was making a display of himself and she thought shamefully of her husband for being that way God struck her barren because of her attitude.

The truth is drinking is not forbidden in the bible. Its maybe not very smart sometimes and it can be very unhealthy if we have a tendency to be alcoholics or compulsive which I am one of these people very much so I try very hard to be careful to not overdue.

Anyone that acts overly pious is being a pharisee and thats all there is to that. We need to stay away from them.
Jesus' first miracle was to turn water into wine at the wedding so that the people could have a good time.

Now its up to us to get strong leelees. Im not strong and I can tell your not strong either. Thats ok because the word says that when we are weak God strength is what is magnified. Now what does that mean? Im not sure but heres what I believe it means.........I believe He looks on our hearts and sees how scared we are and that we need so much love and caring. He loves us so much that when we are down and out and depressed and we drink too much His heart is caring and loving towards us. He knows we are fragile and He came to help us not to put us down.

Jesus said that He wont put out a dimly burning wick.
Whats important to God is that you and I learn to care about ourselves the way God cares about us.
God loves us so much He died for us and so do you think He really wants something like one night out seperate you from the Love of God? No way so please my dear friend take good care of yourself and dont hurt your body. God made you because He loves you so much and you are beyond beautiful to Him. To me too.

Hold on leelees.

Willow
07-06-2008, 05:35 PM
I'd drink if I wasn't so obsessional about it. I really would! It's the best social lubricant in the world if you're socially awkward like I am.

leelees
07-07-2008, 12:55 PM
aww willow lovely, im not an alcoholic, my uncle is and ive seen what its doing to him, but i have tendencies towards it! it makes me more confident when i go out, its a mask i guess!
im feeling much better today though, its tiring being so hurt all the time, it drains you so much...

just want to say thankyou all so very much for you love towards me, i guess ive not known anyone so genuine as you all! its a strange feeling!
hornblower, youre a dream!
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Willow
07-07-2008, 03:56 PM
((((((((((leelees)))))))))))
I'm glad you're on the upswing today!

Jerry
07-08-2008, 06:24 AM
"yh you say ur a christian and you go and get drunk it ant good"

me- "dont judge what i do"

"its true"





im really really p****d off at that, i feel really low now and i ended up cutting my leg to try and help, i feel really angry and fustrated inside...its not like i go out all the time getting drunk as i live a distance from work so hardly ever drink really, i didnt this time for once cos its not often i go out! i feel like im doomed to hell and that i cant turn to God anymore cos im got a little drunk last night...i feel really depressed
:(:(:(

Cutting your leg ????,,,,,,Hmmmmmm,,,,,hows that workin for ya??? Let's talk about "Drunk" .......Sorry,no such thing as a "Little Drunk"...That would be like being a "Little Pregnant" :D ....No sweetie,your either Drunk or your not,that is all there is to it... :( ...........There is an upside though !!!! :D The last time I checked,getting drunk was not the "Unforgivable Sin" so it would seem to me that your a lot more upset about it than God is ;) No ,I think the extent of Gods wrath is that headache ya got :p ,,,,,,and that is kinda "Built In" shall we say......Hope that helps ,,,,,,,,,, and Hey!!!! enough with the cutlery,,,OK ?????
Love Jerry

Janice
07-09-2008, 02:36 AM
((((((((((((leeless))))))))))

Don't beat urself up over this! We've ALL been there at one time or another. God loves you STILL!! He will NEVER leave you or forsake you!
Many times I've felt like running my car into a telephone poll or something cause I was so mad at myself. It happens.
YOU'RE OK!!!!!!
We can't change the past. Fagedaboutit and move on sweetie. This will eat you alive if you let it.

hornblower
07-09-2008, 10:59 AM
aww willow lovely, im not an alcoholic, my uncle is and ive seen what its doing to him, but i have tendencies towards it! it makes me more confident when i go out, its a mask i guess!
im feeling much better today though, its tiring being so hurt all the time, it drains you so much...

just want to say thankyou all so very much for you love towards me, i guess ive not known anyone so genuine as you all! its a strange feeling!
hornblower, youre a dream!
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leelees nope no dream am I Im an old woman that cares very much about you and I put myself in the mental hospital years ago. I had HAD it with all of my d*** A** family and other so called christians and felt like I was loosing it so what else is new??????? I am loosing it all of the time but anyway when I did it was pure heaven in there.........except there were all of these people that were either on drugs or they were cutters.
This was a new thing to me?
But maybe not.........?????......... since I used to cut my wrists on a regular basis when I was in my early twenties and was married to a ............ there are no words for what thst so called ex human dwoid was............
I thought I loved him but then that quickly left me when he began beating me senseless.
The last time I cut my wrists was when I really did a bang up job and it hurt me so bad for many many days that I knew I wouldnt ever do that again so that ended my cutting days.
Believe me there is no reason on this earth to hurt ourselves if you see us from Gods perspective and that my dearest friend is our problem.
WE DONT see ourselves the way He sees us, me included.
Some how and I pray for the day to come soon we will begin to understand and know who the enemy of us is.
We are not the bad guys.
Heres the thing about christians that talk that way down to you and to me. They hurt just as much as we do but their way of dealing with it is to pretend its not happening. They shove the hurt to a 'no place dark cave' place inside of them and their it sits waiting for some unknowing sap like us to come along.
We share our lives with them thinking they were nice to us once so they will still be nice again...........haha! BANG!
They shoot us dead and then here we are bleeding again just like we did the last time someone shot us so then we take it to mean that there must be something wrong with us. Thats way too much pain so off we go cutting drowning abusing ourselves so we can finish off the job they started.
Im with kermit the frog on this one...........its not easy being green?

leelees you are human...........God sees you and His heart is melting for you Hes in love with you my dearest. Hes your real true white knight in shining armour and someday he will come for you and for me and we will ride off into the sunsets with his great big white horse...........we got to keep it going till He gets here! One way or another!
If you dont believe me read Revelations 16 I think thats where it is. I forget these things cause Im so silly but anyway I know its there maybe its 13 dont know but anyway there He is on that white horse all of us are wanting to be picked up on.......... it aint no fairytale.

If you can deal with it Ill tell you the absolute truth this is exactly as I saw Him appear to me on the freeway down here in this godforsaken state of cowboys and indians and cow manure....I shouldnt have said indians I think they killed all of them! That was way over thirty years ago. Its been tough ever since. That cross is a killer but my husband Jesus is the good guy and I know He loves me and leelees Hes into loving you the exact same way too!

In the meantime hopefully we should be trying to help each other.

leelees
07-09-2008, 12:45 PM
yeah i feel a bit better today, im talking to a hot guy which is prob the reason why im happier lol ;)

leelees
07-09-2008, 12:52 PM
i wasnt really that drunk, just a bit, i didnt have any headache, just fell asleep as i didnt sleep all night!
thanks horn blower (still going with the dreeam!)
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hornblower
07-10-2008, 07:18 AM
i wasnt really that drunk, just a bit, i didnt have any headache, just fell asleep as i didnt sleep all night!
thanks horn blower (still going with the dreeam!)
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I love you leelees but stay away from the hot ones youll get burned.........just kidding.

leelees
07-10-2008, 10:48 AM
hehe yeah ill try and remember that one hornblower!
im going though a "i really want to get married" thing, waaaah! had it a few years back now its come back strong!!! specially as im talking to a really lovely bloke...kind of depserate to get with him and for it to work out....its really hard as im the most impatient person ever!!