That shes finds the right church [Archive]

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christian sister

06-18-2008, 03:18 PM

A friend of mine that left the same abusive church that I did around the same time I did, I would ask prayer for her that she would find the right new church to attend. There for awhile she even went back to the old abusive church cause she wasnt happy at the other churches she tried,but she realized she had to get out and stay out. She thinks she might have found a new church to go to. Wether its this place or another church that she would find somewere that she would be happy at and get a healing from the wounds from are old church.

FreeinJesus

06-18-2008, 04:49 PM

Reg

06-19-2008, 07:36 AM

Dear Christian Sister,

I said a prayer for you & your friend.

I hope your friend realizes that GOD & his spirit & son are who will heal her...not a religious organization.

Also, she may be of the mindset that she has to be a member of a church or God will be unhappy w/ her.
I just don't believe that is true, though many churches teach this as my old SA church did.

I tell you keeping away from "church" has done me a world of good!:) Isn't that terrible????..:o..but it's true.

Anyways, God's people ARE the church....so...I just don't get this "going to church".....how can I go to something that I am?? Oh well....I think I'm confusing myself!:p:o

Anyhooo...she might just want to stay away from "church" altogether & just spend Sunday's enjoying God's nature & sleeping in....:)
FIJ,

Great advice. It's what we call --- DETOX.

On the show "Interventions" that Jeff is on, that's what people have to do first to get away from chemical dependancy -- DETOX! They have to leave the circumstances in a facilty that deals specifically with their problem.

It's called rehab.

You need to get out of your system what it depended on to control you first before you can be re-educted in a rehab centre.

Leaving an abusive system is necessary first. Attending another church may be too harsh right away because there will be many triggers that cause flashbacks. A drunk doesn't go to another bar to get away from drinking.

JaniceB

06-19-2008, 10:16 AM

Reg wrote: Great advice. It's what we call --- DETOX.

Oh, yes it is so important to detox! I spent years doing so but I missed the music in the church. So on Sunday mornings while I worked out I would watch a local church on TV. I'd sing along with the music and then when the preacher got up and started his ranting and raving I'd take the remote and zzzt! he was gone. Great therapy!:p

JaniceB

FreeinJesus

06-19-2008, 12:06 PM

FIJ,

Great advice. It's what we call --- DETOX.

On the show "Interventions" that Jeff is on, that's what people have to do first to get away from chemical dependancy -- DETOX! They have to leave the circumstances in a facilty that deals specifically with their problem.

It's called rehab.

You need to get out of your system what it depended on to control you first before you can be re-educted in a rehab centre.

Leaving an abusive system is necessary first. Attending another church may be too harsh right away because there will be many triggers that cause flashbacks. A drunk doesn't go to another bar to get away from drinking.

Reg, It makes sense because the principle is the same....

getting the bad stuff out & the bad influences away & hopefully filling up w/ something better.:)

hornblower

06-19-2008, 11:49 PM

Its been so long for me now I dont know if Ill ever go back to church again. I must say its scary to not go. On the other hand its nopt that I WONT go its that I dont traust anything I see happening there and I dont really think I did in the beginning so maybe in a lot of ways Im just right back where I began in the first place.
I know that sounds crazy but for me 'church' or now I just believe it is 'religion' never looked like Jesus. Some people I met there did. They looked just like Him but most didnt. When I went back and tried this BSF thing it was the same way. I met quite a few good people that I really believe knew Him as I do but somewhere something had gone wrong and I couldnt hang with what was happening. So many rules.
Now I believe in good manners coming and trying to be on time thats always good to do. Being courteous dont talk so much that nobody else has time to speak, thats a good one, and one I certainly know well so I work hard on it. Always be helpful and help people that are less fortunate, be kind all of that stuff its all good stuff.
Heres the rules I cant take.........
#1we all need to dress the same way.
#2 we all have to wear our hair the same or similar
#3 we have to agree with everything that is said and done
#4 being sick is no excuse you should have done your lesson so you cant have an opinion
#5 theres no excuse for not having your lesson even if you werent there to get it......because you were sick
#6 dont come to get to know anybody smile but dont go out the door together and talk with each other
#7 tell us all about yourself but dont tell us anything we dont want to hear
#8 if your life is hard we dont want to know about it keep it to yourself
#9 sadness is next to ungodliness always wear a smile no matter whats going on
#10 never be to happy especially if its about God
#11 dont sing to loud
#12 dont say this or that is in the bible and know something the teacher doesnt know
#13 do everything we expect out of you but dont really tell you what those things are......... figure it out........after all you havent arrived yet
I could go on and on and on there are so many rulwes to try to deal with.

Church should feel like going home if any of us has ever had a good home that is............I had one once. I had a church home and so I know what a real church is like. It wasnt perfect..........people were humans..........I dont think they knew what they had until it was gone. I saw them dismantle it brick by brick, one by one. I tried to help and I tried to stop it but it was no use. They didnt understand.

God showed it to me a long time ago. I saw two people hanging on crosses, each cross facing the other, one person had a gun and lifted their hand off of the nail and shot the other person on the cross and so then the other person on the cross before them shot them as well.

I guess you call it do unto others as you DONT want them to do to you.:(

JaniceB

06-20-2008, 09:32 AM

Heres the rules I cant take.........
#7 tell us all about yourself but dont tell us anything we dont want to hear
#8 if your life is hard we dont want to know about it keep it to yourself
#9 sadness is next to ungodliness always wear a smile no matter whats going on
:(

I love it! That used to make me so angry even before I started really seeing reality. I go to a very liberal Lutheran church now which is very accepting but they still have trouble with #7. However, even though I shock them at times they seem to love me--most of them. God has a few Lutheran jerks as well.

Usually I'm at a point in my life now where I can just chuckle about it but if things got too weird I wouldn't go to church probably for a long time. There are other ways to "not forsake the assembling" besides going to a formal church service.

I think if Jesus were here today He'd be going to a lot more AA meetings than church services.

JaniceB.

Hope 98

06-20-2008, 07:24 PM

I think if Jesus were here today He'd be going to a lot more AA meetings than church services.

JaniceB.

I've been thinking that for years!

I'm finding myself kinda frustrated lately as it seems people I've learned to trust over a number of years seem to be drifting back into a "put on a happy face" brand of christianity.

One guy keeps saying "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood", when it's pretty clearly not. And that's the message behind it - that even if it's NOT a beautiful day, we can't let it show.

I KNOW we can't afford to get stuck in the down and angry mode. But it seems obvious to me that denial doesn't help change it.

I wonder if we just finally gather up all that anger and aim and fire it in the right direction, maybe we would have used it all up and really be completely free of it.

Just thinking out loud...

FreeinJesus

06-20-2008, 08:50 PM

Your thinking is helping me Hope!!!

Keep thinking out loud, I need it!:)

FIJ

Anna Marta

06-21-2008, 03:16 AM

What to do....

We continue to struggle with the whole organized church question.

I relate to the whole concept of needing to leave the destructive behind before one can enter a rehabilitative place to be able to DETOX.

We go round and round about the pros and cons of being in an organized church. Hope's sharing that she is beginning to see the very things she wanted to escape (pretending and putting on a mask) is invading the place she finally thought was safe (or safer).

WHY do we want to belong or attend a church? Maybe if we could clearly examine our reasons it would help.

I like to worship God with others. I like to listen to a good speaker. I like to be people who are authentic. I like to read books and talk about them. I like to study the bible. I like to have discussions and exchange ideas that provide the opportunity for mutual growth.

WHY oh why, can't a church BE like that? WHY do the people need to criticize and judge and accept and reject only certain kinds of people?

Being in church for me, as I look back on it, was a lot like being in junior high school. It was a place where everyone had not yet matured enough to have developed a healthy sense of self. Where the rules were followed or the authorities punished you (at least they were adults) and where the strongest and loudest person in the peer group had the most power.

Even if we were to find a new church (box), I doubt we could stop being "out of the box" kinds of thinkers.

Have we returned to the 60s and 70s, the rebellious years, where we discovered that the people we had entrusted with power and authority could not be trusted? I have not trusted/believed a politician since that time. It's getting to be the same with "in the box" clergy and leaders.

My 2 kroners worth
Anna Marta

hornblower

06-21-2008, 10:52 PM

Hmmm Anna good points there I wonder if we have gone back to that time of the sixties within churches. For me I saw that time as a good thing.....I think it did have a lot of destructive elements to it, the drugs and free sex, but the exchange of being free to say what you thought had to happen sooner or later the fifties were stifling for me in a lot of ways. Contrary to the movies I never did find 'Father Knows Best'. Where is that family?

My son has given me some new books and he says the church is changing radically. Blue Like Jazz.........The Velvet Elvis..........I found these young men saying what I have now come to believe.

How wide spread it is I dont know.

Im slightly encouraged that in my own sphere maybe these experiences had to happen in order for me to be able to now be a friend to someone I would have never known had I stayed where I was.

Anyway its a thought that is helping me have hope in myself.

I dont 'think' Jesus would be attending 12 step programs, I know Jesus is attending them, and to boot started them in the first place and loves them.

I can tell because in these daily meditations there so much love that it cant be anyone but Him.

Hope 98

06-22-2008, 05:32 AM

I dont 'think' Jesus would be attending 12 step programs, I know Jesus is attending them, and to boot started them in the first place and loves them.

I can tell because in these daily meditations there so much love that it cant be anyone but Him.

Yeah - I agree. I think I was talking that if he were still wearing his "human clothes" and could only be at a 12 step meeting or church at a given time, he'd be at the 12 step. Generally speaking :)

JaniceB

06-23-2008, 09:49 AM