had a weepy moment...

[leelees]

i am definately getting more "over it", if thats what you'd call it but while looking around face book i found one of my "best friends" from old church, i started looking at all her photos and soo much has happened that i wish i could have been part of..another one of the best friends has now got married and it made me feel so crap seeing all of them again, like its something god never wants me to have, and then ive just thought thats what old pastor said on the fone those many years ago, that i'd never be happy in anything and surely god wouldnt go along with that would he? amzingly i saw myself in one of the photos, about 4 years ago it was taken!
it was just really really hard to deal with so i cried a lot! my friend told me its cos i miss that fellowship i had with them once, it was really nice for the 6 years i was there and it was a huge part of my life from 13...6 years is going to take a long time to deal with fully!

p.s. i had my tongue pierced yesterday...it hurt alot!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[JaniceB]

I'm sorry you're feeling badly. Has it been long that you've been away from these people? It takes time for the wounds to heal and it takes time to find new friends and new joys.

One of the reasons it takes time is because it takes so much time to find ourselves. That's what we have to do in order to find new friends who won't be abusive like the old ones. Hang in there and love yourself or let us love you until you can.

Janice B.

[leelees]

itll be 3 years...actually it was the time of the new live aid concert 3 years ago...so itll be this time of year...that would explain it, i have funny moments every year it comes to that time!
i try not to think too much about it as it sets me off, but im surrounded by my triggers that i can't do much about at the moment!