The "It's not about me" movement

[gracefull]

I am sick to death of hearing this whole "It's not about you" teaching. It is a cop out for christians to not care for each other, to not listen when someone is hurting, to not uphold, support, edify, or even allow a believer to express their needs, hurts, or concerns. The minute a person expresses anything at all about the realities of their own circumstances, they are harshly reprimanded, scolded for being a "whiner," accused of being self centered, seeking attention, etc. THIS IS ABUSE!

Did not the psalmist say when he kept silent his bones waxed old within him?

[hornblower]

I am so with you on this one when I read this saying in that you know whos book I almost threw up literally!

Here I was trying as hard as my little self could muster after everything I have been through just to do something anything the least bit spiritual and what does my son give me???????????????????????

You got it honey............the book!

Two to three years later and I can pick the silly thing up and read it and its not making me puke any more but its still like so what dummys?????

I have discovered that what is happening is not the writers of these fad books or the evangelists that preach fadish stuff that are really the ones to blame. At least I dont think it is, what does it matter whos fault it is anyway I just want God to get em! Its simpletons that are basically like carnal christians if they are even christians in the first place that do these things.

I always knew it wasnt ALWAYS about me for heavens sake what kind of a fool would I be if I thought that way????? Nothing is always about me all of the time.........but...........when I am hurting over my daughter having a constant incurable illness that is ruining the little sanity I had left, cant I get a little decent sympathy from somewhere??????

Guess what? I guess not.

Im facing three medical procedures next week.......Im so week I can barely stand up.......my sister hates me for no reason at all except maybe I am a better person than she is and she cant live with that information on her pee brain..........my one friend this week after I listened to her pour her heart and anger and rage out to me for way over an hour said to me........... after I finished with my trials that are happening..........'well I sure dont have any idea what you're going to do about any of that, but it seems like to me that you are sure putting up with way too much and you should quit it!'


Lol! quit it?????? like do what, stop breathing?

Thats not exactly what she was saying but it was along the same lines of 'its not about you'


You know what I am deciding? Im deciding that I am going to just crawl back into my hole that I can barely stick my face out of and leave it all to them............they can have it for all I care.

I told the Lord on Easter that I hate people now. I know its wrong, but truth is, its wrong to lie about it too, and I just cant fool around pretending the love is left in me like it used to be.

They killed it.

Maybe it was supposed to die.

Whatever it is, that is the real truth. I dont like people very much, so what Ive been doing is pleading, actually, with God to give me that love to love them with. Ive asked Him to love them through me because I cannot love them any more at all!

They say such hideous things and they are so mean and so self centered I just cannot deal with them.

Anyway thankyou for posting this. This is the very thing they all hurt me with, (my former church)this very thing..............and I didnt read the book, those idiots!

What do they think (?) that all of life is a catch phrase?

Its just the worlds way, they are mixed up in being in the world and doing what the world does.........fads, thats what it is.

Now that guy that wrote that book we know he made a pile of money but do you think for one minute that it was worth it? Ill bet not!

[Jerry]

I am sick to death of hearing this whole "It's not about you" teaching. It is a cop out for christians to not care for each other, to not listen when someone is hurting, to not uphold, support, edify, or even allow a believer to express their needs, hurts, or concerns. The minute a person expresses anything at all about the realities of their own circumstances, they are harshly reprimanded, scolded for being a "whiner," accused of being self centered, seeking attention, etc. THIS IS ABUSE!

Did not the psalmist say when he kept silent his bones waxed old within him?

Dear Gracefull,,,,
I agree with you 100%......What do they say in the south ???,,,,,,Oh ya :) "Them people is just plain ig-nernt " :D

[Willow]

Maybe I should change my tagline... LOL

I never thought about it as a church thing. To me it was an AA slogan.

But now that you mention it... the short stint that I was working for a large sunday school publisher... someone did use the line on me, "Amy... it's not all about you." I had just made a joke about why he didn't sit by me at the table. Nothing serious... and he came up with that line. It really hurt my feelings coz I was totally joking.

[broken_hearted_sheep]

Reading this post made me think of a song the former church sings by Bishop Noel Jones, "It's Not About Us, It's All About Jesus"

If only that were true in abusive fellowships, none of us would been wounded.

Here are the lyrics...makes me cringe. :eek:

[I]It's not about us
But it's about Jesus
It's not about you
But it's about Jesus
It's not about us
But it's about Jesus
It's not about you
But it's about Jesus

I present my body
A living sacrifice
Holy, acceptable
Unto You now
Everything I am
And everything I'll be
I lay it all at Your feet

Chorus

It's not about money
It's not about fame
It's not about titles
You don't even have
To know my name
I'm an instrument of praise
No I'm not ashamed
I'll praise Him all my days

Chorus

It's not about us
It's not about us
It's not about us
But it's about Jesus

But it's about Jesus
It's about Jesus

Perhaps if it really were about all Jesus instead of those things, people would actually get to know Him.

To me, the movement is like telling a pregnant woman in labor, "Oh, I know you are in pain, but it's not about you, so why don't you just clean your room while you wait for the baby to be born." :eek:

It's true, people can go overboard focusing on themselves, but at the same time, if you hurt and are healing, focusing on healing should be expected.

[hornblower]

Of course its obvious whats wrong with that phrase........at least to me its obvious. Jesus came telling us only one thing, to love on another, its what He is all about. Jesus said if you love Me then love each other.

Jesus said you can sum up all the law all the prophets everything there is in that one word to 'Love' each other. God is Love! So when we love then we are like Him as much as we can be.

What I noticed and still see that is going on is a tremendous lack of love and compassion and a sort of smirk everytime you even mention that word.

Jesus died and He is not with us any longer except in our hearts so to me its very simple........I can only love Jesus by loving His people, His children, because that is what He told me to do.

So I ask you how is it not about US?

[SpinningHead]

I am sick to death of hearing this whole "It's not about you" teaching. It is a cop out for christians to not care for each other, to not listen when someone is hurting, to not uphold, support, edify, or even allow a believer to express their needs, hurts, or concerns. The minute a person expresses anything at all about the realities of their own circumstances, they are harshly reprimanded, scolded for being a "whiner," accused of being self centered, seeking attention, etc. THIS IS ABUSE!

Did not the psalmist say when he kept silent his bones waxed old within him?

It's not about you...
It's about the church as a whole...
of which you are a part of...
So it is about you.

Wait...what'd I just write???

:p

The "it's not about you" lessons have been so twisted that the intended point is indeed lost....and it's a good point.

Just like this forum doesn't exist for me, it exists for those of us who have endured spiritual abuse...like I have experienced s/a...so it does exist for me.

We're supposed to be here for each other...and you're part of "each other". When that obviousness is lost, watch out!

See? :rolleyes:

[Hope 98]

It's not about you...
It's about the church as a whole...
of which you are a part of...
So it is about you.

Wait...what'd I just write???

:p

The "it's not about you" lessons have been so twisted that the intended point is indeed lost....and it's a good point.

Just like this forum doesn't exist for me, it exists for those of us who have endured spiritual abuse...like I have experienced s/a...so it does exist for me.

We're supposed to be here for each other...and you're part of "each other". When that obviousness is lost, watch out!

See? :rolleyes:


Thanks for pointing that out!

Sometime in the past two years, I heard a sermon that made exactly that point and I was really pleased to be a part of the church where it was preached. Wish I could remember more of the sermon...

What I remember most though was how the sermon was "staged" as an interruption of our worship set, as they were singing "It's All About You, Jesus". I don't know how it went over with the congregation, because I was in on the staging as Power Point presenter. I was worried at first, not knowing where the sermon was going to end up!

Christianity is so full of paradox, it is truly hard to get it sometimes. Even harder when someone knows just how to rework the truth to his or her own advantage...which is why we're all here...in this forum...for each other.