Hope 98
01-07-2005, 10:15 AM
Hello folks,
I know that I've posted some about the most recent struggles in my churches (I work for one, attend another). I've also had a few chats with Jerry - and I'm unsure of what I've already shared. :confused: Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but your prayers would be appreciated.
Late in November, a friend from the church I attend (I'll call that church A - for attend), asked if I wanted to know something that I'd have to keep to myself for a while. I said yes, and she told me that she had made arrangements to move out of the home she shared with her husband of 26+ years and out of the area. She had shared with me the agony of her relationship with her husband and she knew I would not find her at fault. However, she would also be leaving the church I attend because the doctrine of the church considers her behavior sinful. The doctrine of the church also maintains the responsibility to discipline sinful behavior. Had she not left, she would have been excommunicated and subject to a private, but stern lecture. :rolleyes:
I don't believe that her behavior is at all sinful, but rather a healthy step toward self-preservation. We've had a number of conversations over the course of the past three years. And in that time, I've become completely convinced and I influenced her to agree, that God will NOT "strike her dead and send her to hell".
At first her escape was understood, and it saddened people. But rumors surfaced and allegations of adultery have stirred an undercurrent of anger and uncertainty. To the best of my ability to discern - which is usually pretty good - the rumors are unfounded, and simply judgemental speculation.
So now I'm still here in this church, KNOWING I encouraged a member to act against stated doctrine and knowing that the leadership ALSO knows that I know. But this is all coming under the blanket of privacy and discretion, and it is not openly discussed. I can hear inferences in the sermons, but they're not all that obvious to most people.
I am not a member and I never will be. I am not willing to submit to the discipline of a doctrine that is simply not God. :mad:
Weird thing is that in so many ways - not related to this marriage thing - I see God's Spirit at work, and the love of Jesus in these people. It's just this one area that's like a blind spot or something. And it's totally out of line with everything else that goes on in this church.
I think I've been here for this length of time because I didn't feel required to believe the whole doctrine, or become a member of the church. What brings this all to something of a crisis point is that I now understand that everything that God has given me, spiritual gifts, passion, and experience is to do the work of disputing the "Christians can't divorce and/or remarry" doctrine and encouraging abused women to escape marriages that are killing them - usually one small insult at a time.
I could probably contruct a scriptural defense of my belief that God has not made the rule that divorce is the unforgivable sin except when a woman is adulterous(It's not quite what they say, but what it seems to mean). But somehow, it feels just wrong to even attempt that. I want to say that everything that I know that I know about God tells me that this is a "tradition of men". And only God can know the heart of a person and He may free them, rather than give the grace to endure.
I don't know how everyone feels about "hearing from God" in this forum. But I am more certain that I've heard from God in this situation than I have ever been about anything at all in my life. He said "NO ONE has the right to imprison someone whom I have set FREE!" When I asked "God is that YOU?" The response was a dramatic YES!!! There was no room for doubt. Having discussed it with the pastor at church W (the church where I work), I am all the more certain.
I can just imagine trying to tell the pastor at church A that I'd heard from God on the matter and that is what God said... :eek:
It is getting quite uncomfortable! Just wondering what you all think...
I know that I've posted some about the most recent struggles in my churches (I work for one, attend another). I've also had a few chats with Jerry - and I'm unsure of what I've already shared. :confused: Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but your prayers would be appreciated.
Late in November, a friend from the church I attend (I'll call that church A - for attend), asked if I wanted to know something that I'd have to keep to myself for a while. I said yes, and she told me that she had made arrangements to move out of the home she shared with her husband of 26+ years and out of the area. She had shared with me the agony of her relationship with her husband and she knew I would not find her at fault. However, she would also be leaving the church I attend because the doctrine of the church considers her behavior sinful. The doctrine of the church also maintains the responsibility to discipline sinful behavior. Had she not left, she would have been excommunicated and subject to a private, but stern lecture. :rolleyes:
I don't believe that her behavior is at all sinful, but rather a healthy step toward self-preservation. We've had a number of conversations over the course of the past three years. And in that time, I've become completely convinced and I influenced her to agree, that God will NOT "strike her dead and send her to hell".
At first her escape was understood, and it saddened people. But rumors surfaced and allegations of adultery have stirred an undercurrent of anger and uncertainty. To the best of my ability to discern - which is usually pretty good - the rumors are unfounded, and simply judgemental speculation.
So now I'm still here in this church, KNOWING I encouraged a member to act against stated doctrine and knowing that the leadership ALSO knows that I know. But this is all coming under the blanket of privacy and discretion, and it is not openly discussed. I can hear inferences in the sermons, but they're not all that obvious to most people.
I am not a member and I never will be. I am not willing to submit to the discipline of a doctrine that is simply not God. :mad:
Weird thing is that in so many ways - not related to this marriage thing - I see God's Spirit at work, and the love of Jesus in these people. It's just this one area that's like a blind spot or something. And it's totally out of line with everything else that goes on in this church.
I think I've been here for this length of time because I didn't feel required to believe the whole doctrine, or become a member of the church. What brings this all to something of a crisis point is that I now understand that everything that God has given me, spiritual gifts, passion, and experience is to do the work of disputing the "Christians can't divorce and/or remarry" doctrine and encouraging abused women to escape marriages that are killing them - usually one small insult at a time.
I could probably contruct a scriptural defense of my belief that God has not made the rule that divorce is the unforgivable sin except when a woman is adulterous(It's not quite what they say, but what it seems to mean). But somehow, it feels just wrong to even attempt that. I want to say that everything that I know that I know about God tells me that this is a "tradition of men". And only God can know the heart of a person and He may free them, rather than give the grace to endure.
I don't know how everyone feels about "hearing from God" in this forum. But I am more certain that I've heard from God in this situation than I have ever been about anything at all in my life. He said "NO ONE has the right to imprison someone whom I have set FREE!" When I asked "God is that YOU?" The response was a dramatic YES!!! There was no room for doubt. Having discussed it with the pastor at church W (the church where I work), I am all the more certain.
I can just imagine trying to tell the pastor at church A that I'd heard from God on the matter and that is what God said... :eek:
It is getting quite uncomfortable! Just wondering what you all think...