Question about Calvary Chapel

[angel885]

Hello everyone. I have questions concerning Calvary Chapel. My boyfriend and I are attending one in NJ, recommended by a friend. Although I like the teachings, and the pastor seems to be great, Ive been having questions about how this mega church is run. I looked up Chuck Smith, and I dont like his authoritative style of governing the church. I also want to know what his views on women are, especially concerining the roles of women in marriage. My boyfriend and I share a wonderful relationship and I do not beleive in authority/submission stucture in marriage. I am a women with God given intelligence, hold a 4.0 GPA in college and hold alot of wisdom, given to me by God. I plan to work outside the home and use those gifts God has given me. I do not beleive in the woman putting her fate in a man's hands becuase a marriage is a partnership, not a president-vice president relationship. I went on blueletterbible.com and found a commentary by Chuck Smith regarding women in marriage. It seems he likes the authority/submission arugument and not mutual deferrence like I had thought a Godly marriage was. My boyfriend wants to get involved in church and I am worried that these teachings may change him. I fell in love with him becuase he loved the way I was and considers me his equal. Im also assuming if Chuck Smith beleives in the old school view of marriage, then the pastor at the church must also, becuase he must abide by the teachings Calvary Chapel upholds. I need some advice and of course Chuck Smith's views on marriage. Thank you. Also, please forgive me if my sentence structure and grammar are off. I am in the middle of an assignment and trying to do two things at once.

[Hope 98]

I don't know what has gotten into me, but I feel up to tackling these questions!

First - I hear you about the authority/submission thing. I struggle with that teaching also. It tends to get really twisted. What I've found however, is that if your relationship works, that teaching won't change things. My husband & I have had a few go-rounds with pastors, and when it seemed like it may have helped, we tried to adjust. It just seems we tend to fall back into old patterns, and we'll be married 20 years this fall.

I've also found that it's not really fair to paint a whole denomination with a single brush. I've been through several churches and found that the real character of the church is primarily determined by the personality of the people who attend. That MAY be a reflection of the pastor's personality, but only if the pastor has been there long enough.

I know one pastor who has a personal theology that sometimes seems to stray very far from the denomination's doctrine, but he's very cautious about how he presents some points. If you researched that denomination and decided against attending, it's likely you would be missing something good.

The church I've attended for a long time has changed denomination since we first went there. A change in the national organization of the original denomination went contrary to the beliefs held by the leadership of the church, and being aware of the impact, the national organization allowed individual churches to choose to disconnect. The real bottom line is that the reason I've chosen to attend this church is the same as it was at first - in spite of a lot of changes in the congregation, location, and affiliation, the people there have a history and habit of showing a Christ-like love, even in the midst of disagreement, and through major changes.

I guess the main thing I'm saying is that any individual church can be abusive no matter what the denomination. And any individual church can be healthier than the overall denomination appears to be.

The truest test is in the general sense of the attendees. Watch what issues come up, and how they're handled. The response of those in the seats will give you a picture of whether you want to be part of this church or not.

[Jerry]

Dear Angel855,,,
You seem to be a very astitute intelligent woman.Never do what many christians do when entering a Church . Do not check your brain at the door! Not for Chuck Smith,or any other man. ;)
Love Jerry

[FedUP]

I fall in the category of having checked my brain at the door frankly. I think that my chief complaint regarding my treatment at CC is more about that particular pastor moreso than it is about CC though. I did sense however, a bit of an atittude of changing the scheme of things to fit the times instead of sticking to God's word, just like Robert Schueller is doing these days, wanting the church to be more compliant with the world, and in that sense, I want nothing to do with any churches who engage in that regardless of denomination, even if that means I don't darken the doorways of any of them.

[Anna Marta]

Authority and submission is one of the worst twisted scriptural teachings. If you read carefully, the concept is that of "mutual submission" meaning basically exactly what you already do... respect and love each other for who you are and what your strengths (and areas of challenge) happen to be. Trust me I SUBMIT to my husband when he tells me what to do with my computer and he SUBMITS to me when it comes to how to care for healthcare stuff... Got the idea? It is merely acknowleging the strengths and complementing the other areas. LOVE AND RESPECT. God did not bless a woman with a great mind to have her be pushed down by some Neanderthal

Hugs
Anna Marta

[Jerry]

God did not bless a woman with a great mind to have her be pushed down by some Neanderthal

Hugs
Anna Marta

HEY !!!! Watch it there :D

[jane]

angel-

from the words of the gingerbread man.....

"RUN RUN as fast as you can"

been there done that, was robbed by the pastor, wasn't helped by the NEW JERSEY over seer......AND not only were the leaders sexist, they were racists and twisted scriptures as well as "lifted up leadership" in a way that created incompetent, ignorant leaders.

PM me privately if you want to know more......but my husband and I dealt with the leadership in NJ when they were supervising a horrible church split outside of Hartford CT.

RUN.

it feels good to be there........but like drugs.......when the high is gone, you are left depleted, empty and attacked.

JMO

Jane

[angel885]

Hey Jane. Id like to know more and I tried PMessaging you and it says your inbox is full. Hope to talk to you soon.

[jane]

give me a moment and I'll clear it.....sorry.......

[jane]

In gathering the information about the experiences we had with the Calvary Chapel church, I realized an error on my part.

I want to clarify for honesty- sake-

We had no contact with a New Jersey Church.

We had contact with the overseer from Philadelphia which is in Pennsylvannia.

My Apologies........

jane