I think I've turned a corner...

[Sheep]

in my recovery and feel free to attend church again. I actually have a desire to go to church tomorrow! It used to be such a trigger for me while working through some trust/betrayal issues with my husband and my dad. The staff there has never pressured me to attend services (even though I am a member) and have extended nothing but grace to me during my recovery these past couple of years.

Baa...

Sheep

[Beautiful_Dreamer]

That is wonderful...this is what a church *should* be like...

[Pinkie Pie]

What a wonderful way to start the new year!! I am happy for you. :)

[Ontheroad]

Sheep,

This is great news! It's wonderful to here of breakthroughs in healing.

Did you end up going to church yesterday, and if so, how did it go?

Ontheroad

[Doug64]

Great news, Sheep:

Another milestone passed.

Doug

[Sheep]

Sheep,

This is great news! It's wonderful to here of breakthroughs in healing.

Did you end up going to church yesterday, and if so, how did it go?

Ontheroad

Yes, I did end up going to church yesterday. Just before my son and I were leaving my husband wanted to put a halt to it so he could ride w/us, but I am so proud of myself for setting good boundaries! I let hubby know that we needed to leave early so I could put gasoline in the car. Reminded him that he could just drive separately and meet us there. I had prepared our son for his class as he hasn't been there for a long time and needs routine due to his autism. Then here classes don't resume for children until next week! But hubby did end up coming and let our son play games on his cell phone during the service. :D

The associate youth pastor led the service. He started off w/communion and giving the congregation insight into a Hebrew custom of Atonement where they would use goats - one as a scapegoat for sin. Anyway, I got kinda triggered by that as that was a role I stepped into throughout my childhood/adulthood. But I think the Holy Spirit used that bit of preaching to shed awareness into that area of my life. The assoc. youth pastor asked us to contemplate what area(s) of our lives needed atonement.

During the worship time my eye caught a little girl (about 6 or 7 yrs. old) dancing freely to the music up in front. I had to choke back tears as I thought of myself and how carefree I felt before I'd been abused (younger than that - I was only two when issues of abandonment entered my little life). It was a delight to watch her freely worship the Lord and somehow that little girl inside of me got to grow up just a little that morning!

The sermon was based out of the book of Esther. Our head pastor had given a sermon awhile back from this same book. I think his focus was more on Esther and her being a remnant, whereas the associate youth pastor focused more on Mordecai. I'd like to get a CD to compare notes. The assoc. youth pastor also taught us what the seven eunichs' names meant and also what the seven wise men's names meant. He spoke comparing resolve vs. resolution. He referred to Queen Vashti a bit and what events took place in her life due to her insisting on living her life by her own opinion :(

Then at the end of the service our youth pastor shared a portion of Scripture - Psalm 63. I think I memorized this chapter when I was a new believer because I started to quote the passage word for word as he was reading it! So, the service gave me some things to "chew on" this week. When I had shared w/my teenage daughter that she missed Pastor So and So's preaching today (she went to church with a friend after a sleepover) and told her it was from the book of Esther and was really good, she asked if I would purchase a CD for her. When the head pastor preached out of the book of Esther it spurred her on to read the entire book of the Bible and also a fiction book called "Esther" that I had picked up at a second hand store one time.

So, that's how church went yesterday. It was good to be with the flock!

Baa...

Sheep

[Theodora]

Yes, I did end up going to church yesterday.

(snip)--re your adventures.

So, that's how church went yesterday. It was good to be with the flock!

Baa...

Sheep

SO much that is positive in this post!!!! I am SO proud of you for so many things...your boundaries with your husband, preparing your son for his class--even if it didn't happen, WORKING THROUGH BEING TRIGGERED AND ARTICULATING WHAT WAS GOING ON!!!.. AND...last, but not least, being able to feel that it was "good to be with the flock!" AWESOME!!!

As you may have seen, yesterday I also got back to "regular" church for the first time in a long while (other than the Christmas eve service with our older son...which was nice, but not a Eucharist, which is a key to where I feel most "connected." ) More thoughts to share on that when I can/if I can...or if it seems pertinent, but won't go into that right now.

In any case, just wanted to touch base a bit before heading off to bed and to THANK you for taking the time/having the courage to share with us about your experience. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all get together sometime, as Reg as mentioned and be able to affirm each other in where things HAVE gone "right" with us as we've moved into healing? I'm thankful to begin to "know" you a bit more and posts like this do help me come to better understanding of what you're experiencing, so I do thank you for this post!

Well....MUST stop! My chronic problem with insomnia is very active right now--for which I'd ask your prayers, please---!---and I find that it really is not a good thing to get my head too engaged in "reflective thinking" while trying to get back to sleep! (Have had what has become my evening "first-stage" sleep...now need to get back to more of the same if I can!) This is getting "tiresome".....LITERALLY! ;) :D Hope you have a good night!

Love and prayers from your sister in Christ.

Theodora

[Satscout]

He referred to Queen Vashti a bit and what events took place in her life due to her insisting on living her life by her own opinion :(
I couldn't help chuckling to myself, wondering just what yet another pastor had to say about Vashti. What most preachers covering that passage don't want their congregations to realize - because it would blow their nicely symmetric three point outlines - is that Vashti's own husband wanted her to parade about at his little bachelor party. To show off her beauty. Her "great" beauty. In nothing but her crown. She wasn't very pleased with this. She objected. IMNSHO, God used her VERY appropriate boundary-setting behavior to bring about her removal from the office as queen - so that He could put Esther in a place of influence to save HER people. So while the king was a major jerk, two WOMEN did the right thing... of course the king redeems himself later by getting rid of Haman, but that's another story. ;)

Just my 2¢ of course...

[Sheep]

...is that Vashti's own husband wanted her to parade about at his little bachelor party. To show off her beauty. Her "great" beauty. In nothing but her crown. She wasn't very pleased with this. She objected. IMNSHO, God used her VERY appropriate boundary-setting behavior to bring about her removal from the office as queen - so that He could put Esther in a place of influence to save HER people. So while the king was a major jerk, two WOMEN did the right thing... of course the king redeems himself later by getting rid of Haman, but that's another story. ;)

Just my 2¢ of course...

Didn't mean to mislead anyone. The pastor didn't speak fondly of the king - he was a jerk. The pastor did mention these things listed here about the king wanting to show her off, etc. But he didn't mention anything about the queen "standing her ground" as in setting appropriate boundaries.

Thanks for your 2 cents! I think it's important to have teaching done in context and your input/feedback here put some different insight into the book of Esther. I know how important it is to know about the culture of the day and history around the books/chapters of the Bible. In fact, they aren't even put together in chronological order in the Bible in the way the events happened! I am not a Bible scholar, but I do enjoy studying the Bible!

So much of what I had learned about the Bible growing up was based on traditional Sunday School stories, not necessarily Biblical teaching. I'm not sure I ever heard a sermon challenged or that my mom or dad discussed what God had been teaching them from church or their lives as they lived as "Christians". I want to be like the Bereans - checking to see if what was preached from the pulpit lines up with what the Word of God has to say. This is a real challenge for me!

Sheep

[Pinkie Pie]

I couldn't help chuckling to myself, wondering just what yet another pastor had to say about Vashti. What most preachers covering that passage don't want their congregations to realize - because it would blow their nicely symmetric three point outlines - is that Vashti's own husband wanted her to parade about at his little bachelor party. To show off her beauty. Her "great" beauty. In nothing but her crown. She wasn't very pleased with this. She objected. IMNSHO, God used her VERY appropriate boundary-setting behavior to bring about her removal from the office as queen - so that He could put Esther in a place of influence to save HER people. So while the king was a major jerk, two WOMEN did the right thing... of course the king redeems himself later by getting rid of Haman, but that's another story. ;)

Just my 2¢ of course...


That's a very refreshing way of looking at Vashti's role, that God in His infinite wisdom, knowing that He needed to put Esther in the role of queen, and knowing that Vashti would set appropriate boundaries, had the king request this ludicrous thing of her because God knew she would refuse. It's amazing the things we miss in God's word when we just look at the surface. I've never heard it taught from that perspective.

[Satscout]

That's a very refreshing way of looking at Vashti's role, that God in His infinite wisdom, knowing that He needed to put Esther in the role of queen, and knowing that Vashti would set appropriate boundaries, had the king request this ludicrous thing of her because God knew she would refuse. It's amazing the things we miss in God's word when we just look at the surface. I've never heard it taught from that perspective.
:)

I get the impression the king STILL didn't want to take Vashti down - it took a gaggle of (male) advisors demanding it before he did, and he was still reluctant. He may have actually loved her, or at least preferred her, and they had to "insist" because - according to them - if he tolerated this "rebellion" out of the queen, then the households of all the nobles (at least) would start having independently thinking women in them. Heaven forbid such a thing. ;)

So yes, God took it to extremes to get Vashti out of the way. If the king was partying, the boast and subsequent demand to show her off may have been alcohol-induced. *tuneless whistle*

And the odds of hearing this from the pulpit are small, lest the congregation's households start having independently thinking women in them. Heaven forbid such a thing. (LOL!) Most preachers would rather focus on how submissive Esther was to Uncle Mordecai...

This sort of thing makes what Jesus taught about women that much more liberating - we are neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, bond nor free but ONE in Him...

Sharon

[Sheep]

:)

This sort of thing makes what Jesus taught about women that much more liberating - we are neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, bond nor free but ONE in Him...

Sharon

Amen! You can preach at my church anytime!! :D

Sheep