Got kicked out of church

[ex-shep]

I have to get ready for work. I would appreciate PMs of support. I can go into detail off forum. The general consensus of opinion is that it would have been an uphill battle. It turns out my wife was also abused by one of the elder's wife. After the Metro Airlines mess a few years ago with the witchy poo, I decided to vote with my feet. More later.

[ex-shep]

I wish I could get some quality internet so I could collect my thoughts. Headlines in Brief: What triggered the whole episode was I made a inadvertant flip comment about a seminar. My wife overreacted. Unfortunately an arguement blew up in church. After the service the we pulled into a back room by the elders. The pastor was out shaking hands. We were accused of disrupting the service, making obscene gestures, and not sitting together. The elder did not like the fact that I went to another church for mens fellowship. We were told to get help, but there were no resources we could use.

Later that afternoon, we replaying what happened. My wife confided that the elder's wife would yell at her if she did not do her homework for bible study or if she missed a meeting. I saw the elder's wife tear into some of the kids. After the adventures with the witchy poo at Metro Airlines, I decided it was not worth playing that game. So made a decision to leave.

I must get to work, but that is what happened in brief. I just thank the posts in forum and own adventures in recovery to recognize what was going on and get out unscathed.

[PatriciaM]

Dear Ex-Shep,

I am SO sorry to hear that this happened to you. It seems every time this kind of thing takes place, it gets harder and harder to take. What part of the bible that commands us to treat eachother with kindness do these people not understand?

You made the right decision to beat feet and high tail it out of there. Run and don't look back!

[Willow]

This has been a helluva year for you and Michelle so far. It's no wonder you are having breakdowns in public places. I wish the church would have extended a hand of help rather than a slap in the face. Even when they don't know how to handle a situation... they should have a network set up to refer you to. A disruption in their service is not the end of their church.. them stonewalling you is a much worse offense... at least the way I see it.

[ex-shep]

Dear Ex-Shep,

I am SO sorry to hear that this happened to you. It seems every time this kind of thing takes place, it gets harder and harder to take. What part of the bible that commands us to treat eachother with kindness do these people not understand?

You made the right decision to beat feet and high tail it out of there. Run and don't look back!


Trust me I have. I guess I have enough recovery not to be cynical.

[mary]

Ex-Shep, this sounds like a really nice church not to be in. ;)

They should have helped you and Michelle, not become a participant in your problem. This could have been a molehill, but these dunderheads enlarged it...

This would be a good thing for the two of you to join forces against. I pray that the Lord would make that come about and that you find a real church to attend, not some place where an elder's wife feels free to "let her inner b****" run roughshod over poor Michelle.

God bless you both.

mary

P. S. Like husbands and wives never fight in church?! :cool: :D What planet are these people living on? I've seen some major set-tos in church! I even saw "pastor" and his wife get into some pretty good go-rounds in church (usually in the narthex; obviously, they weren't sitting together). If I had a nickel for every time I've gotten mad at my husband in church and sat somewhere else, or seen another married couple do just that, I'd be driving something a lot sportier right now... :cool:

[ex-shep]

Ex-Shep, this sounds like a really nice church not to be in. ;)

They should have helped you and Michelle, not become a participant in your problem. This could have been a molehill, but these dunderheads enlarged it...

This would be a good thing for the two of you to join forces against. I pray that the Lord would make that come about and that you find a real church to attend, not some place where an elder's wife feels free to "let her inner b****" run roughshod over poor Michelle.

God bless you both.

mary

P. S. Like husbands and wives never fight in church?! :cool: :D What planet are these people living on? I've seen some major set-tos in church! I even saw "pastor" and his wife get into some pretty good go-rounds in church (usually in the narthex; obviously, they weren't sitting together). If I had a nickel for every time I've gotten mad at my husband in church and sat somewhere else, or seen another married couple do just that, I'd be driving something a lot sportier right now... :cool:

It is interesting how a slip of tongue blew up to an excommunication. The problem with the church was its size. It was the complete opposite of a megachurch. It was smaller than the chapel at my alma matar. I support their building campaign. They truly need it. Most buildings there is usually a hallway, classroom, or some open space one can duck into. No such luck. It had the makings from the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers movie Night of the Opera.

[mary]

It is interesting how a slip of tongue blew up to an excommunication. The problem with the church was its size. It was the complete opposite of a megachurch. It was smaller than the chapel at my alma matar. I support their building campaign. They truly need it. Most buildings there is usually a hallway, classroom, or some open space one can duck into. No such luck. It had the makings from the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers movie Night of the Opera.

That's "the modern church," isn't it? Slip of the tongue = excommunication. Short trip from one to the other; there are no stops on the way at Matthew 18, either. Happened to me...

If this church has a building fund, it doesn't "need" your further contributions to it now that it has treated both of you so cruelly. Some of these places that are so badly in need of cash should think about it before they put on their steel cleats and start stomping all over the sheep. Kind of hard to dig deep into your wallet when you're down on the floor, bleeding all over the place from their attacks... :mad:

Re: "...makings of the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers movie..." I love that scene, Ex-Shep -- :D -- but -- I'm so sorry that it was you and Michelle who were involved...!

mary

[ex-shep]

That's "the modern church," isn't it? Slip of the tongue = excommunication. Short trip from one to the other; there are no stops on the way at Matthew 18, either. Happened to me...

If this church has a building fund, it doesn't "need" your further contributions to it now that it has treated both of you so cruelly. Some of these places that are so badly in need of cash should think about it before they put on their steel cleats and start stomping all over the sheep. Kind of hard to dig deep into your wallet when you're down on the floor, bleeding all over the place from their attacks... :mad:

Re: "...makings of the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers movie..." I love that scene, Ex-Shep -- :D -- but -- I'm so sorry that it was you and Michelle who were involved...!

mary

Sounds likes it is just a couple of trouble makers. The pastor I could reccomend highly. I was getting burned out on urban ministry anyway. As far as the building fund, they need the space. We were always tripping over something.

[Jerry]

That's "the modern church," isn't it? Slip of the tongue = excommunication. Short trip from one to the other;

Read that quote again :eek: Yes it is the modern church,,,,,"Angels and Ministers of Grace defend us !!!!!!! Do those morons actually believe that that is what God wants ????? Of course we try not to have disruptions in a service,but we must also remember what we are there for ,,,,,to express Love of God .....That isn't done by singing,praying,donating.Christ said,"A new commandment I give you,that you love one another as I have loved you,so you also should love one another (here's the important part)By this all will know that you are my disciples."They didn't love ExShep and his wife.Quite simply,they do not love God.They can have all the perfect services they want,,,,,,God isn't listening :mad:
Love Jerry