this [B][I]HURTS[/I][/B]

[FoxInSox]

I've heard and read from recovery folks that resentments and revenge and anger and bitterness and our addictions really all cover one thing -- pain.

I'm noticing that cycle seems to occur more quickly as I am more willing and supporting in my recovery.

And today, the bitterness and resentments I have towards the church rolled away for a while, and the pain churned in.

IT HURTS.

[Jerry]

I've heard and read from recovery folks that resentments and revenge and anger and bitterness and our addictions really all cover one thing -- pain.

I'm noticing that cycle seems to occur more quickly as I am more willing and supporting in my recovery.

And today, the bitterness and resentments I have towards the church rolled away for a while, and the pain churned in.

IT HURTS.

YUP it sure does :( ,,,,,,,,,,,,it gets better ;)

[ex-shep]

It is part and parcel in recovery from our groups. I had to go through it too. I wanted to tear apart limb by limb the person who introduced me to the whole movement I was involved 1980-1984. I had bitter resentment that I was out and she was in her group happy as a clam. I had to process the anger.

In all fairness, neither of new what was really going on. It was really nobody's fault. It was just the way it was. The sage advice I have heard is to find an inanimate object to take out one's frustrations. With the phlethora of phone books which arrive at one's door step, I am sure taking it out on one's former group and the phone company should be a relatively easy chore. Just think one can take out two "phoneys". Hope this helps. Must get back to work.

[FoxInSox]

"Just think one can take out two "phoneys". "

OH WOW. That is too funny!!!! Especially with the pun!!!

[hornblower]

dear fox in the sox.............one thing I am learning of late not that I have arrived for I really think I never will until I am there with Him and safe at last but right now I am learning to not be ashamed of my pain and that helps me. Ive always wondered about Jesus despising the 'shame' of the cross. We read that scripture and think well of course it means that He despised the shame of being treated like a criminal when He wasnt He was God Himself so it all stands to reason doesnt it?
Yes but.......why not the 'pain' why not the 'loneliness' for none of His friends stood by Him, why not all of the other horrible things that happened during those hours of His death? No it was the shame of it all that Jesus despised. Am I ashamed of being persecuted? Am I ashamed of being lonely? Am I ashamed of being hurt? Do I think that maybe something I did caused all of these things to happen to me and am I ashamed of myself? Am I ashamed of being abused......in a church from a leader or a friend or in a home with my own family?
Inside of Jesus there is no room for shame because there is no guilt, and if we are struck down for doing a righteous thing something we are totally innocent of only the world puts shame on us...........not Jesus.

My dearest friend Jesus is so proud of you for standing beside Him and He has never nor will He ever be ashamed of you He is so happy that you are with Him and that you are His friend..........because you have believed His goodness and His truth you were abused spiritually but now on top of that do not add to it a feeling of being ashamed that you are hurt.
Jesus hates that shame that is being placed on you because in heaven you are lauded as being His close friend forever and you are greatly blessed even though right now, it sure doesnt feel that way, Jesus is not ashamed of you, He is so proud to have you close beside Him willing to suffer the same punishments that He suffered.
He didnt deserve it and neither do you.
Soon this will all be a bad dream for us my friend and we will be with Him and live forever happy once and for all.

[PatriciaM]

Thank you, hornblower, for saying, basically, that shame is of the devil. I've had so many "well meaning" christians say the phrase "shame on you" if you didn't go to a certain service, go to sunday school, come late to church, go to a certain Christian concert, join a certain group, etc. etc. the list goes on. Why would people who love the Lord and know the scriptures put shame on another brother or sister.

By the way, I am new here to the forum, so I say "hi" to all you brave recovering individuals, and thank you for sharing your stories, however painful. They have helped me greatly, and I am comforted in knowing that I am not alone!

Hugs, not shame!
:cool:

[Willow]

Hi PatriciaM welcome to the forum :)

[PatriciaM]

Thanks, Willow! By the way, you have a lovely eye....:D

[Reg]

FoxInSox,

Here's something that has been posted here before about what hurts us.

IT HURTS
The following is how former cult members and members of spiritually abusive systems described how they felt when they finally left their group. This may give you some insight into their pain and why there are no easy answers for them.

This material may be distributed freely but please leave our original details for identification of source.

http://www.indian-skeptic.org/html/ithurts.htm

Here's the thread we discussed this....

It Hurts
http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?t=3910&highlight=hurts&page=2