I'm a Newbie Here!

[He Is Mine]

Hi all!

My family left our spiritually abusive church almost 10 months ago, but the hurt remains. I am wondering when I'm going to get over this. We were only members there for 5 years, but were DEEPLY involved. I worked, volunteered, and attended as a member. I was there every day of the week, many days for 12+ hours.

I'm tired of my walk with God being hampered by foolish feelings towards the old church, and fear of finding a new church.:(

I joined the forum to find others trying to recover from similar circumstances. Can't wait to learn how others got better. :D

[FreeinJesus]

Dear He Is Mine,

WELCOME to the forum!!!:):D

Unfortunately I can't write much now, but I hope
that you can get some good information & encouragement
from this forum.

We left our abusive church, which we were members (myself 19 years ) my husband 18 years....we walked away April, 2007...so it's been about the same time you left your SA organization. All I can say is that it's a journey & hopefully over time you will heal.

For me, I have read & read & read some more....anything about 'spiritual abuse, abusive churches, thought reform, narcissistic pastors, etc. That information helps me to see things from a different perspective & I've learned a lot. I hope this forum will help you, these are good people & we are all on the same journey, but at different places.
God bless & guide you!!
FreeinJesus

[yeshua'smags]

Hi He Is Mine! I'm glad you are here! You can read our stories if you go into the archives...
We had a hard time of it at first, but we are better now...it gets better, I promise....I was at our old church for 10 years and my husband his whole life. We were also deeply involved as were my sister and brother-in-law, they were employed there. We were all badly beaten and battered, and left about the same time.
Just coming here and not feeling so freakishly alone will help tons!:D

[ex-shep]

Welcome aboard. I have been out my groups for over 20 years; nevertheless I can relate to the deflated feeling of uselessness after one's group. Make yourself at home. As you have discovered from the posts, there are many who have been there, done that, seen it, and got the T shirt. We can all relate. Virtual coffeepot is always brewing. :)

[hornblower]

Hi all!

My family left our spiritually abusive church almost 10 months ago, but the hurt remains. I am wondering when I'm going to get over this. We were only members there for 5 years, but were DEEPLY involved. I worked, volunteered, and attended as a member. I was there every day of the week, many days for 12+ hours.

I'm tired of my walk with God being hampered by foolish feelings towards the old church, and fear of finding a new church.:(

I joined the forum to find others trying to recover from similar circumstances. Can't wait to learn how others got better. :D



I dont know that I Am better.........sorry to say. Im very glad though that things happened the way they did. I feel very fortunate to have been through what I went through.
This is what I have learned.........when you suffer for doing wrong then what else is new????? You need to suffer!
But........when you suffer for doing right you are righteous and there is great reward...........not here.........but there!
I believe in that now.
Its all I cling too.
Because I dont ever want to be anything like those people. I always want to be kind and giving and understanding never pompous never ambitious never looking for a peer group always looking at my sweet Jesus.
I was lucky because I wasnt mad at God.
Still though never the less all of my spirituality went whoosh out the door!
I felt like I had failed God and this might have been the problem.
Now I can hear better.
I hear Him telling me He is proud of me. Thats a hard one for me to listen and believe that God might actually like me and love me and think that I do well.
We are supposed to TEST spirits.......what kind of spirits? The kind that whisper in our ears telling us that we are no good those kind..........this is how you teast them..............now lets see spirit, where are you coming from, if you are telling me I did something wrong?

Check things out in the word just you and Jesus......some people cant even open that book theyve been so burned I wasnt like that but I definitely get what they are saying because I have expwerienced my stomach turn from any religious anything........
I couldnt even breathe when I walked into a church.

Thats ok cause I am the church!

The church is where God resides and Im it! Jesus told Peter "On this rock I will build my church" He wasnt talking about no building code or building program..........Jesus was talking about Peters heart a heart that believed that Jesus is who He says He is.

Thats it, thats the church, aint no other one! Someone comes to you and tells you that theres some other way then who are they????????


WOLVES! in sheeps clothing.

I know God lives inside of me. If Im wrong then so be it, because then there isnt any hope for any of us. Either the story is true or it isnt? If its true Jesus is alive if it isnt we arent wasting our time anyway. Look around you there isnt anyone doing too many good things anyway?

There all listening to music on their IPODS and watching reality TV like the worlds just going to keep on going and honey it aint, because its almost 80 degrees down here in Texas and thats what I call some global warming!

Dont get me wrong Im ok with IPODS and Tv and reality TV at that but there isnt a writers strike on my bible.

So yeah its been six years for me since the big one (my SA)and its hard getting back in there (churches) but its ok.......Im ok with God and Gods ok with me. He was kicked out too, big time! Well I wasnt kicked out but if they would have been smater they would have kicked me out before I got started someone just might look back and think about something...

..Not like we DONT have a club or something we all do have a mighty club! This is the club of those who have been smited in the name of Christ Jesus..........bring it on so called sisters and brothers.........weve got each other now!

[SpinningHead]

Hi HIM,

Welcome.

It gets better. It helps to keep reminding yourself that your membership/participation to the church is not your definition as a Christian. And those who ran that church aren't the ones who determine that definition either.

It's weird to not belong to something all of a sudden when you were so involved. Take this time to remember who you are in Christ, not who you were to the church. (Easier said than done.)

Well, that's what helps me on bad days. I hope maybe it will help you too.

[ex-shep]

Hi HIM,

Welcome.

It gets better. It helps to keep reminding yourself that your membership/participation to the church is not your definition as a Christian. And those who ran that church aren't the ones who determine that definition either.

It's weird to not belong to something all of a sudden when you were so involved. Take this time to remember who you are in Christ, not who you were to the church. (Easier said than done.)

Well, that's what helps me on bad days. I hope maybe it will help you too.

Well said. Next latte on me.

[Willow]

Dear He Is Mine,

I hope you can relax your expectations on yourself a bit. 10 months is not long at all. Welcome to the forum family!

Amy aka Willow

[what comes next]

Welcome to the forum,
I hope you get as much from just being here as we have. My wife and I read many posts on this forum until we reached the point where we were comfortable to start participating, and the outpouring of love and concern was overwhealming, it has played a major part in our recovery. Just to have a place to come to and realise that you were not the only one who has been taken for a ride, helps somehow. There will be times when someone hits the nail on the head for you and you will be able to really drill down into a subject and find answers, and there are times to just soak up the accumulated wisdom.
The one thing I would say to you now is be patient with yourself, take time, there's no rush....the world isn't going to end tommorrow (despite what many of us have heard!) You take the time you need to become whole again.
For me that was the hardest thing to come to terms with and for a while I could not comprehend what it meant to give myself a break or stop being so hard on myself....its funny how you can worry about something and then one day without noticing it seems to come naturally. You'll get there and so will your family it just needs a little time.
Telling your story is an important part of comming to terms with the ordeal and you couldnt have found a better place to let off steam.
Jerry once said to me "we're not all virgins here, we know all the words" and now after a time I can understand where he was comming from.
We wish you all the best on your road to a full recovery and look forward to the oppurtunity to share what we have learned along the way.

Have a great Christmas

[Jerry]

I joined the forum to find others trying to recover from similar circumstances. Can't wait to learn how others got better. :D

Hi HeIsMine,,,
Keep reading posts,,,,post questions yourself,,,,"Rants" are allowed let her fly :D....The longer your here the more you will help others,the more you help others the better you will get.Ya can't keep what you don't give away....I think your already beginning to learn why "Time" is a four letter word :D ;)
Love Jerry