Difficulty This Time of Year

[SueJean]

:( This time of year is difficult for me. My physical body is taking it tough: the TMJ is on overtime as well as the fibromyalgia...oh, and the Post Traumatic Stress. Ugh. :( Counseling is helping. The 12 Step meetings are helpful. I'm still struggling and hurting and upset from the Christian cult. ohhhhhh mud! At times, it feels as if I'm dreaming...a nightmare...and I'm going to wake up. Take another pill. sigh. Being treated for bipolar is helping. My counselor said that it's going to take time to unlearn the unhealthy habits and replace them with healthy ways of living. sigh. One day at a time.

[mary]

:( This time of year is difficult for me. My physical body is taking it tough: the TMJ is on overtime as well as the fibromyalgia...oh, and the Post Traumatic Stress. Ugh. :( Counseling is helping. The 12 Step meetings are helpful. I'm still struggling and hurting and upset from the Christian cult. ohhhhhh mud! At times, it feels as if I'm dreaming...a nightmare...and I'm going to wake up. Take another pill. sigh. Being treated for bipolar is helping. My counselor said that it's going to take time to unlearn the unhealthy habits and replace them with healthy ways of living. sigh. One day at a time.

Praying for you, SueJean... Been exactly where you are; I have some degree of fibromyalgia, too, I've been told. Psychotropic meds help, sure, but don't discount their "cost" in other ways, too. Your counselor is right, obviously. Stay in prayer... After decades of December misery, year after year, I have my own ways of dealing with "this time of year," and boy, do they help! :)

Love to you in the Lord,

mary

[SueJean]

Praying for you, SueJean... Been exactly where you are; I have some degree of fibromyalgia, too, I've been told. Psychotropic meds help, sure, but don't discount their "cost" in other ways, too. Your counselor is right, obviously. Stay in prayer... After decades of December misery, year after year, I have my own ways of dealing with "this time of year," and boy, do they help! :)

Love to you in the Lord,

mary And, what, may I ask, are some of those ways of dealing w/ this time of year? Help! I'm all ears. I'm open to suggestions. Lay it on me, baby. Bring it on. I'm eager to learn healthier ways of living. :)

[Jerry]

Dear Suejean,,,
It gets better,,,,,one foot in front of the other,,,,,breath,,,,cry,,,,,and laugh............Don't forget to laugh,find something,,,,,,it's important ;)
Love Jerry

[SueJean]

Dear Suejean,,,
It gets better,,,,,one foot in front of the other,,,,,breath,,,,cry,,,,,and laugh............Don't forget to laugh,find something,,,,,,it's important ;)
Love Jerry
Thank you, Jerry. I need to be reminded to breathe, to cry, and to laugh. I think that I'm going to watch "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World" today. It's cold here in Pgh, PA. I'll curl up w/ a hot cup of apple cider and enjoy a funny movie ... after I've finished house cleaning :) I'm doing a quick job... a hit and miss kinda cleaning today. Then, this evening, my hubby and I will attend midweek service. I gotta breathe.

[yeshua'smags]

You are so lucky! It is 75 freakin degrees today and I'm so pissed! I hate warm weather when it's supposed to be cold! How is it supposed to feel like Christmas? :confused::p:mad:

Sorry...I needed to vent that...haha:D:mad:

[Reg]

I saw this guy beating his head up against a brick wall and stopped and asked him if he was OK.

He stopped and said, “Thanks for asking. It feels so good when I stop.

I think we can all learn a lesson from that.

Just STOP! --- when you find yourself up against a brick wall. Don’t hurt yourself by beating your head against it.

[ex-shep]

I can relate to the holidays being rough. I left my group and lost Tammy during the fall of 1984. My parents playing blame the victim. December was rough. Hang on in there. It does get better with each passing day. Keep on posting. Virtual coffeepot is always brewing. :)

[SueJean]

You are so lucky! It is 75 freakin degrees today and I'm so pissed! I hate warm weather when it's supposed to be cold! How is it supposed to feel like Christmas? :confused::p:mad:

Sorry...I needed to vent that...haha:D:mad:

hahahaha
Thank you sooooo much for the good laugh :D I needed that.

Yesterday, the temperature here was 60 something or other. Today, it's 30 something. Brrrrrr. Where's the fireplace w/the blazing hot fire when ya want one? And, an overstuffed chair. And, some good books. And, something hot to drink? Hmmmm? Oh, and the supplies can be dropped off at the cabin which is up in the mountains. Let is snow then! heehee

[Jerry]

Today, it's 30 something. Brrrrrr. Where's the fireplace w/the blazing hot fire when ya want one? And, an overstuffed chair. And, some good books. And, something hot to drink? Hmmmm? Oh, and the supplies can be dropped off at the cabin which is up in the mountains. Let is snow then! heehee

My house in the Eastern Upper Peninsula of Mich.On the stove tonight????,,,,,,,,,,A copper kettle of "Hot Buttered Rum" W/Cinnamon Stir Stix and Hot Pecan Pie :D ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Your all invited,,,,,,,got lots of Rum :D

Love Jerry

[SueJean]

My house in the Eastern Upper Peninsula of Mich.On the stove tonight????,,,,,,,,,,A copper kettle of "Hot Buttered Rum" W/Cinnamon Stir Stix and Hot Pecan Pie :D ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Your all invited,,,,,,,got lots of Rum :D

Love Jerry

Ohhhh, now, that's what I'm talkin' about :D

[jimsmuse]

mmmmmmm, r-r-r-r-rum punch! :p

anyone remember that from Mary Poppins? yeh? :cool:


Hey Mags,
Snows comin Sunday so your BIL says, 19 degrees by Sunday night, keep the faith baby!!!

[yeshua'smags]

Hey Mags,
Snows comin Sunday so your BIL says, 19 degrees by Sunday night, keep the faith baby!!!

I'll believe it when I see it! And then you can bet Christmas Day it will be back up into the 80's and sunny just to kick me in the ass a little more....:mad::cool:

[jimsmuse]

I'll believe it when I see it! And then you can bet Christmas Day it will be back up into the 80's and sunny just to kick me in the ass a little more....:mad::cool:



merry christmas bah humbug :p :D we'll just wear our Hawaiian shirts to Christmas dinner

[mary]

And, what, may I ask, are some of those ways of dealing w/ this time of year? Help! I'm all ears. I'm open to suggestions. Lay it on me, baby. Bring it on. I'm eager to learn healthier ways of living. :)

Okay, here ya go. My tested and tried methods for getting through a time of year that used to make me dissolve daily/hourly into crying jags:

1. Ignore completely whatever it is that you feel as though you have to ignore. This is the First Commandment of Getting Through Christmas for those of us who simply can't do it. This means, in my case, that I don't send out cards; I don't decorate; I don't bake. I don't do things that people expect me to do just because they're on their list for me to do. Guess what? They're not on my list - and so I don't do them. I do buy presents for family and friends, but I wrap them beautifully in "all occasion" paper. They don't like it? Tough toenails!

2. Feel free to pretend that it's July whenever/wherever you want. Refuse to feel guilty about any and all "failures to get into the holiday spirit." What holiday spirit? :) :cool: I don't have to have one if I don't want one! Make yourself a summer salad for dinner; keep lemonade around and spike it if you have to... ;) Spike it good. But still remember to take care of yourself and eat well. Watermelon tastes awfully good this time of year! :) :D

3. Try to find it in the Bible where it says that "Christmas" and its trappings must/should be observed. It ain't there. Instead, there's Galatians 4:9-10, and Jeremiah 10:1-6. I "subject them to my own interpretation" and use them as a warrant for myself, as "permission slips," if you will, to spend Christmas Eve planning a trip to Tahiti (that maybe I'll never take, but one can dream) or watching a DVD of "In the Heat of the Night" or something. I have done both. Anything un-Christmas-y. Don't watch "Miracle on 34th St.," "It's a Wonderful Life," the Peanuts Christmas shows/movies, "A Christmas Carol," "Since You Went Away," etc. On the other hand, "Shop Around the Corner" (1940), arguably a Christmas movie, is an upper and can be watched happily at any time of year!

4. I do not participate in Christmas cookie exchanges or Christmas walks or neighborhood New Year's Eve parties or countless other Christmas activities that we used to do. They're set up to be, and are in actual fact, relentless downers. I refuse to feel guilty about refusing to do, be, attend or feel anything in particular at this time of year.

5. I do not attend church Christmas or New Year's services, dinners, carol-sings, etc., etc. ad nauseam. Where are those things warranted in the Bible? Not there. I refuse to wear Christmas clothing or jewelry. I look ghastly in both red and green anyway. Fortunately. :p

Christmas, in my view, is simply our culture's attempt to hijack a particular holyday of obligation for its own mercenary and faux-jolly purposes. I'm not buying into it anymore; I never really did. Christmas in the home in which I was raised was just another occasion for a drunken brawl, one in which the tree would hit the floor a few dozen times in the process - a tree to which the above-referenced passages in Jeremiah applies. Nuts to it all!

In the long-ago past, I was a party girl who used office Christmas parties as, well, might be expected. I'm now a forgiven, former party girl whose sins have been purged by the blood of Christ. He told us to remember His death and resurrection, and I remember what I was saved from and what I was saved for. He never said a thing about remembering His birth with pageantry and gifts for each other, etc. We know some of the details of His birth thanks to Matthew and Luke. Two things we do know: it didn't happen in December, and as to nativity scenes, etc., well, there is the Second Commandment. And I can never forget that.

The new church we're starting is of a denomination that believes in celebrating only the Lord's Day, not man-made, man-designated holidays. I'm cool with that.

Every year I come up with new ways of undoing the pain of Christmas for myself. And I haven't had one of my formerly "de rigeuer" Christmas crying jags in several years! :D

I will post any new ways that I find this year for avoiding Christmas hassle and stress...

mary

[mary]

A "this-year" addition to the list of "Christmas blues remedies:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA

If you're one of the very few people who haven't yet seen this video, I defy you to watch it and still harbor a case of blues of any kind.

I've watched it about 40 times, and I still cry happy tears during each viewing! (Make sure your speakers are turned up!)

Love to all,

mary

[SueJean]

mmmmmmm, r-r-r-r-rum punch! :p

anyone remember that from Mary Poppins? yeh? :cool:


Hmmm, Mary Poppins and rum punch? Now, I'll probably get the movie so I can watch and wait for that part to appear :)

Hey Mags,
Snows comin Sunday so your BIL says, 19 degrees by Sunday night, keep the faith baby!!!

[jimsmuse]

Ha Ha! Yes! It's there during "A Spoon-ful of Sugar" She gives the kids

medicine out of one bottle but to the kids it has it's own individual flavor. I

think Jane thinks it's strawberry and Michael thinks it's butterscotch and

when Mary takes some too she says "mmmm (trill your "r") rum punch!!

A good movie to watch anytime of year, we all need a spoonful,,,,take that however you need to.....:D

[Reg]

I'm with Mary on a lot of that.

One of the best ways I spent Christmas was skiing on Christmas day in the mountains. The slopes were uncrowded. It was one of the best skiing days of the year. :p

[SueJean]

Ha Ha! Yes! It's there during "A Spoon-ful of Sugar" She gives the kids

medicine out of one bottle but to the kids it has it's own individual flavor. I

think Jane thinks it's strawberry and Michael thinks it's butterscotch and

when Mary takes some too she says "mmmm (trill your "r") rum punch!!

A good movie to watch anytime of year, we all need a spoonful,,,,take that however you need to.....:D

hahahahah. Ohhhh, thank you soooooo much. I needed the laugh. Hugs a bunch :D

[mary]

I would like to express my deepest apologies to all and anyone whom I may have offended with my second-to-last post in this thread. It was unnecessarily snarky, revealing and idiosyncratic to my own problems. It's not "all about me," as others have so wisely stated here. To the administrators: please delete that post.

Thank you. Once again, I'm so very sorry. :( :( :( :(

mary

[yeshua'smags]

A "this-year" addition to the list of "Christmas blues remedies:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA

If you're one of the very few people who haven't yet seen this video, I defy you to watch it and still harbor a case of blues of any kind.

I've watched it about 40 times, and I still cry happy tears during each viewing! (Make sure your speakers are turned up!)

Love to all,

mary

Oh my gosh, this is my favorite Auria, and he is so cute singing it! I saw him do this on a talk show and cried and cried! They even fixed his teeth! ahha:D

Mary, don't sweat your post. People asked for your list and you told them what you thought. We deal with things how we deal with things and if you need to be snarky and idiosyncratic...well that is how you deal. My way is to be sentimental and irritatingly nostalgic, and try to make it as magical and wonderful for my kids as it was for me. But I was lucky, I had a kickass family and amazing parents that made everything magical and wonderful.
We love you!

[jimsmuse]

:D Yeh, love you Mary, we understand!! And besides we are to bear each

others burdens! YOU ROCK! ;)

[SueJean]

I would like to express my deepest apologies to all and anyone whom I may have offended with my second-to-last post in this thread. It was unnecessarily snarky, revealing and idiosyncratic to my own problems. It's not "all about me," as others have so wisely stated here. To the administrators: please delete that post.

Thank you. Once again, I'm so very sorry. :( :( :( :(

mary

Hi Mary,
I read your post. This is one lady who thanks you for sharing. I wasn't bothered...and I'm still not bothered by what you wrote. In fact, I'm going to reread it. It helps me to read things and hear things from another perspective. I like my thinking to be challenged. Soooo, please accept my cyber hug :)

[mary]

Maggie, yes, I was very pleased to notice, when I saw Paul Potts on "Oprah," that he'd recently undergone some outstanding cosmetic dental procedures. He deserved them! I'd buy his CD but for the fact that it has some Christmas music on it. I'll just wait for his next release, I guess. The man has a beautiful voice and I definitely want him on CD.

Sometimes (on the other matter), I should just shut the heck up. :cool: So I grew up in a thoroughly rotten "home." So what? I've been in nothing but thoroughly rotten churches ever since I got saved, but I haven't stopped believing in God.

I was a way overprotective mom to my son - and sometimes still am. But that's because I was underprotected, to say the least. (I used to run around downtown Detroit by myself all day and into the night when I was 11 or so... No one ever looked for me... :rolleyes: Gee, I wonder why?! :cool: :p Maybe because I was the same horse's backside then that I've shown myself to be here! :D )

Thank you, Maggie, for your kind words of encouragement. They're deeply appreciated! :) :) :) I'm sure you're a fantastic mom: everything you've written on here ever certainly indicates that! Your children are blessed!

And -- Merry Christmas!

Love,

mary

P. S. I guess I'm really not doing all that well with "the season..." And I'd still like that post deleted...

[mary]

Hi Mary,
I read your post. This is one lady who thanks you for sharing. I wasn't bothered...and I'm still not bothered by what you wrote. In fact, I'm going to reread it. It helps me to read things and hear things from another perspective. I like my thinking to be challenged. Soooo, please accept my cyber hug :)

((((SueJean!)))) and ((((Marcy!))))

You're all so dear!

What I said on another thread last month - that this is a cyber-church - still holds true.

It's the only church I've ever known.

Love to all,

mary

[FreeinJesus]

Dear Mary,

I understand where you are coming from, Believe me.:)

You're a blessing & you're a passionate person. Just be who God made you to be, Mary!!!:)

My views have changed over the years on different issues, I think I see both sides now. For 18 years I didn't "celebrate"....my views have since changed after exiting abusive Xchurch, but I understand those who don't. I've had a long talk w/ God about this.......

Anyhow Mary, you are greatly appreciated! None of us will agree 100% on everything....& God knows that!;)
You are blessed sister!!
Peace be with you!
FreeinJesus

[butterfly]

[[[[Sue Jean]]]]

I have difficulty this time of year too. For many years I would over due.
So now I do what makes me happy.
No more baking, rushing for presents to buy, No more christmas cards.:D:D.

I will tell you that I feel very good about it. I am still depressed because I have depression anyway.

I like Marys ideas that help her during this time of year. Alot of things she does I do.
Sadly I too grew up with drunk parants around this time of year. Which puts PTSD in full blown memories.

I put up a table tree a few snowmen and that is it. I collected some old christmas earings and jewerly and put them on the tree last year.
This did give me good memories of my grandmother who would wear these kinds of things.

Mary I didn"t take offence to your posts. I could of wrote them myself.

Mags I want the heat. We had ten inches of snow today and this weekend a noreaster is coming.:(
Jerry rum for me with coke. Thank you very much.

Doing what I only want to do at this time of year sure gives me blessings.:D

Its a feel good about myself feeling. I don"t have much of those feelings very much. Shirley

[mary]

Dear Mary,

I understand where you are coming from, Believe me.:)

You're a blessing & you're a passionate person. Just be who God made you to be, Mary!!!:)

My views have changed over the years on different issues, I think I see both sides now. For 18 years I didn't "celebrate"....my views have since changed after exiting abusive Xchurch, but I understand those who don't. I've had a long talk w/ God about this.......

Anyhow Mary, you are greatly appreciated! None of us will agree 100% on everything....& God knows that!;)
You are blessed sister!!
Peace be with you!
FreeinJesus

Dear (((FIJ!))), (((Reg!))) and (((Butterfly!))),

Awww... You're the understanding - and blessed - ones!

I thank everyone here who puts up with my out-of-the-mainstream (and mainline!) views and doesn't invite me to "step outside!" :)

It's too hard to change after a certain age. I've been through too much, seen too much... Taken a few too many karate chops to the head (maybe that's my problem! :cool: ;) ). Anyway, anytime I feel as though I'm working "against purpose," i.e., my purpose being to help people here, I get mad at myself. But you guys are so gracious!!!! It's incredible! :) :) :)

Butterfly, you and I are sort of in parallel universes from those who didn't grow up with alcoholic parents, aren't we? We guess at what's normal - constantly. We try valiantly, sometimes to our detriment, to hide even our slightest weaknesses so that no one can use them against us; our parents did that, and we're not going to allow anyone else to do it. We had no human authority figures we could trust from as early as when we were toddlers, so we fumble along, trying to guess at what a real mom or dad would have told us and shown us. We weren't cared for, not even our most basic needs, and so we guess even at those things as adults. Our parents die of their alcoholism when we're still fairly young adults, if they make it that far - and then there's no chance to go back and make anything right. It's hard, folks, and it doesn't get easier as you get older.

However, Nov. 15, 2005 was a blessed day for me. That was the day I found this forum.

May the Lord shower you, FIJ and Shirley, and everyone else here with year-round evidences of His matchless grace, mercy, peace and love.

Love,

mary

[Jerry]

I would like to express my deepest apologies to all and anyone whom I may have offended with my second-to-last post in this thread. It was unnecessarily snarky, revealing and idiosyncratic to my own problems. It's not "all about me," as others have so wisely stated here. To the administrators: please delete that post.

Thank you. Once again, I'm so very sorry. :( :( :( :(

mary

Nah,,,,,,,,,,Snarky is cool,,,,,,,I am going to leave it unless you kick and scream in a huge temper tantrum :D Seriously,,,,The reactions to that post are wonderful and the thread should remain in tact in my opinion ;)
Love Jerry
P.S. Idiosyncratic !!!???? Mary ,,,,you hang around with too many Lawyers :D

[mary]

Nah,,,,,,,,,,Snarky is cool,,,,,,,I am going to leave it unless you kick and scream in a huge temper tantrum :D Seriously,,,,The reactions to that post are wonderful and the thread should remain in tact in my opinion ;)
Love Jerry
P.S. Idiosyncratic !!!???? Mary ,,,,you hang around with too many Lawyers :D

Okay... :D Well, truth be told, "snark" has been my style since I was about 6 months old... :cool: ;) :) No, I'm not going to throw a huge temper tantrum. I've conquered that -- as of about a year and a half ago. >snark, snark< ! :rolleyes: :D

"Hang with too many lawyers?" You bet! :o :p Guilty as charged! I work for 'em, and a number of my buds are lawyers... :eek: :eek: :eek: Generally speaking, though, they're more honest and upstanding citizens than most clergy I've known. At least none of my lawyer friends has ever said they'd "like to strangle" my cat, which my old "pastor" once did... No kidding. :mad:

No more digressions; "never complain, never explain" (Henry Ford II). Thanks, Jerry, for your kindness... You are deeply appreciated, along with everyone else here. Onward and upward.

Love,

mary

[mary]

This guy kind of explains what I was talking about earlier:

http://www.dailylocal.com/WebApp/appmanager/JRC/Daily?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=pg_article&r21.pgpath=%2FDLN%2FLife&r21.content=%2FDLN%2FLife%2FTopStoryList_Story_126 8949

mary