Christmas Eve Service Triggers

[Sheep]

I'm in a place in my life right now that I don't care if I ever attend another Christmas Eve service in my life! I feel apathetic. Sometimes numb. Other times I am in totally disillusioned. I grew attending Christmas Eve services. Looking good on the outside is what really mattered to my parents (still does, I think). Then as an adult I've attended churches where what things looked like on the outside ie. the community appearance, how the elder board's decisions would look to outsiders, etc. is what really mattered. I feel "stuck" in getting back to attending church. I don't care. What matters to me is that the Lord is healing me whether I'm attending church or not, but I question whether I am drifting farther and farther away instead of drawing ever nearer to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Wandering Sheep :confused:

[Jerry]

Sheep,,,,your not wandering,,,,your ears have been opened ;) John10 Verses 1-9
Love Jerry

[Willow]

Hi Sheep,

I have some of the same concerns. It seems that when I am around christians, I am growing increasingly sensitive and aggravated rather than more accepting and tolerant. I hope we are on the right track. I believe I am a better person today than I was when I went to church. I'm just not sure how to get the community I need outside of church.

[Voyager]

I question whether I am drifting farther and farther away instead of drawing ever nearer to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I believe that many of us heard so much about "drifting away from God" and "backsliding" from our former abusers that it put a dreadful fear within us that constantly torments many of us. Is the fear and guilt justified? I don't believe it is. Let me use an analogy to explain my point.

God is supposed to be a Father, right? Okay, how often do we grieve over drifting away from our natural fathers? I never do. I am not close to my dad because I never knew him (he was in prison until I turned 18). But if I did have a relationship with my dad and hadn't seen him for a while, I would just call him up and talk to him. I wouldn't grieve about not seeing him or "backsliding" from him.

Therefore, I believe that all the guilt about "drifting away" or "backsliding" from God is simply remnants of the fear, guilt, and shame that was projected onto us by our former churches. If we'd never been warned about "backsliding" to begin with, we wouldn't even be worried about it. Our former abusers used our fear of losing God's favor for their own selfish purposes. They abused their authority, and instilled a fear in us that kept the "sheep" from leaving their "flock". It was a bait-and-switch. They taught us to equate leaving their church with leaving God.

God is not 4000 miles away from us. He is right next to us. He is all around. It's the people in the abusive churches that we have drifted away from. It's the religious charlatans and spiritual dictators that we have backslidden from. And to them I say good riddance!

:cool:

[Voyager]

I'm just not sure how to get the community I need outside of church.
I'm in the same boat as you Willow. I wish I could find an anti-religious church where people are real and not plastic religious phonies following the leader like programmed puppets. A place where there is true shared responsibility, and no fake religious fear tactics. A place where there are good programs for singles, divorcees, addicts, married couples, kids, etc. - without a religious agenda.

Maybe we could call it the "First Church of the Religious Refugees".

:D

[Willow]

I have a dream of finding a church I can call UNCHURCH. Hehehehe... same principle :)

[ex-shep]

Sheep,,,,your not wandering,,,,your ears have been opened ;) John10 Verses 1-9
Love Jerry

That passage jumped off the page. Good Call. Buy that poster a latte!!

[ex-shep]

I'm in the same boat as you Willow. I wish I could find an anti-religious church where people are real and not plastic religious phonies following the leader like programmed puppets. A place where there is true shared responsibility, and no fake religious fear tactics. A place where there are good programs for singles, divorcees, addicts, married couples, kids, etc. - without a religious agenda.

Maybe we could call it the "First Church of the Religious Refugees".

:D

I think I may have found it for me. It is a rare treasure. Very rare can I reccommend a church for those spiritually abused. It was worth the wait.

Of course I understand the gunshyness. Oh, No I am not going through THAT again!!

The tragic thing with spiritual abuse is that it can drive many away from the faith. It has taken 18 years before I could find a safe church home. Paul does make reference to the shipwreck of our faith,

Trying find a healthy faith has taken years, but is has been worth the wait

[Willow]

I'm very happy for you ex-shep. May we all find the local spiritual community in which we feel safe.

[ex-shep]

I'm very happy for you ex-shep. May we all find the local spiritual community in which we feel safe.

Indeed!!