Been a Long Year

[SueJean]

Hi yins guys.:) Where to begin... ears: appt. scheduled 9/10/07 to see the ear/nose/throat MD who did original surgery back in '01 to remove a tumor next to my left ear.:mad: I feel as if I'm inside of an empty hollow room. sigh. Tinnitus 24/7. :mad: Will someone answer that ring? One result from the cult, my counselor said that I have Post Traumatic Stress.:mad::( The psychiatrist (the 3rd one) I'm now going to diagnosed me as being bipolar. I feel relieved. :) Questions I've had for years are being answered. I'm concerned about any of the cult people hearing of this. The meds seem to be helping. I have my part: diet changes, moderate exercise, practice relaxing. Next is beginning a journal. I've attempted that over the years. My writings came out dark. Talk about depressing! The counselor wants me to try again. I'm awaiting the arrival of the book entitled "Waking the Tiger." She thinks it will help me to write my thoughts with purpose. Emotions: I feel safe and accepted at 12 Step meetings.:) At church meetings, I feel very much an outsider.:confused::mad::(:(:( I'm thinking the way I can best take care of myself is to put effort into where I see the best return and that is with the 12 Step meetings. Other than my sponsor, I have yet to get any phone numbers. I will endeavor to change that. I tend to isolate. The ear problems, lack of energy, tinnitus, etc. have contributed to this and I have just gone along. The meds must be working as I notice my thinking is racing less. I feel less anxious. My hubby and I are going on a well-needed vacation to Shenandoah National Park the week of Sept. 10. :) After seeing the ENT MD, I'll want to get away.:D
I'm better able to see GOD as a loving, compassionate, gentle Shepherd. He already knows me. As I spend time with Him, I'm getting to know Him better.
Ex-shep, I'm so sorry to read about you and your wife.

[Anna Marta]

Wow Sue Jean - what a looooooooong year you have had!!!

It sounds like you are making a lot of progress and getting some important answers and working hard.

Tinnitus is annoying and takes a lot of getting used to. Steinar has it from his years in the music industry along with some hearing loss in certain ranges.

Keeping a journal can be hard, not the discipline of it, but as you say dealing with the things (darkness) our words reveal to us. I want to encourage you to keep trying; it became a life line for me. "Tiger" is an apt word for what I felt I wanted to tame inside of me.

So glad to hear you are doing well at 12 step and beginning to peek out of the isolation. Know how it feels to be able to see God as loving and compassionate and gentle again. Go for it!

Have a GREAT vacation!!!

Love
Anna Marta

[butterfly]

Hi Sue Jean,
Thanks for sharing. Writing has helped me alot. It takes alot of energy and it would wipe me out somedays.

I hope you will find healing and realease of anixity from your writing.

I have PTSD for childhood abuse and church abuse.
I felt like I would never make it some days but the writing helped.

Hope you will find help for your ear.

Your vacation sounds so nice. I have found I can feel God close to me when I am in the woods or somewhaere close to nature.:D
I hope you will find some special moments. butterfly shirley

[SueJean]

Thank you both for writing back. The ENT MD's assessment -- allergies. He wants me to return to an Allergist MD. sigh. :eek: Been there; done that. I'll make more diet changes. yeah, yeah, I'll end up going to an Allergist. Hmmm, attitude adjustment needed.:o sigh. I've begun yoga to help me to deal w/ stress. I'm willing to give it a try. I just started reading "Waking the Tiger." :confused:I need to reread what I read to better understand what the author wants me to get in order to go on w/ life. A gal from the church we're now attending suggested I look into Theotherapy.:confused::confused: Anyone know about this? Is it of any value? Is it just a one time, flash in the pan, pray for ya one time and yer problems are all over kind of thing?

[mary]

Thank you both for writing back. The ENT MD's assessment -- allergies. He wants me to return to an Allergist MD. sigh. :eek: Been there; done that. I'll make more diet changes. yeah, yeah, I'll end up going to an Allergist. Hmmm, attitude adjustment needed.:o sigh. I've begun yoga to help me to deal w/ stress. I'm willing to give it a try. I just started reading "Waking the Tiger." :confused:I need to reread what I read to better understand what the author wants me to get in order to go on w/ life. A gal from the church we're now attending suggested I look into Theotherapy.:confused::confused: Anyone know about this? Is it of any value? Is it just a one time, flash in the pan, pray for ya one time and yer problems are all over kind of thing?

Never heard of theotherapy, SueJean, but here's a link that defines it:
http://www.theotherapyseminars.org/beliefs.html#anc1

Personally, for myself, I would be wary of it. But if someone else wants to give it a shot, who am I to criticize? "Not gonna go there..." :)

You're in our prayers... I've known several people with tinnitus and the researchers are always looking for cures and symptomatic relief for it. There's hope!

mary

[SueJean]

Thanks for the link, Mary. :) I'll check it out. I'm leery about attending something like this already. :eek: However, because this gal at the church we're now attending put forth the effort, I'll at least read more about it. Thank you so much for keeping us in your prayers.:D I appreciate it. Ohhh, this tinnitus has to go! The MD said that my age is involved. :p Oh, brother!:p Ahhh, yes. I can hear my hubby now..."Take another pill." :rolleyes: He means well. I love him. He is much more attentive to my needs since we left the cult. That's a good thing.:D

[mary]

Thanks for the link, Mary. :) I'll check it out. I'm leery about attending something like this already. :eek: However, because this gal at the church we're now attending put forth the effort, I'll at least read more about it. Thank you so much for keeping us in your prayers.:D I appreciate it. Ohhh, this tinnitus has to go! The MD said that my age is involved. :p Oh, brother!:p Ahhh, yes. I can hear my hubby now..."Take another pill." :rolleyes: He means well. I love him. He is much more attentive to my needs since we left the cult. That's a good thing.:D

Um, has anyone mentioned Meniere's Syndrome to you? If so, or even if they haven't, then the good news for you is that if it's Meniere's, it's self-limited... You won't always have it; eventually, it'll go away by itself. It generally does.

If they mentioned that your symptoms are age-related, SueJean, maybe they're talking about Meniere's. I'm no doctor, of course (but I play one on television - ;) :p), but that's what I'm thinking they're thinking about.

"Post-cult marriage" -- ah, yes! My husband and I are getting along so much better since the "cult residue" is dripping off of us... We had a real tough time there for awhile, but things are looking up!

Take care and keep us apprised! :)

mary