P.T.S.D. and Spiritual Abuse

[Voyager]

The effects on an individual from leaving a spiritually abusive group have been compared with those of post traumatic stress disorder. It's like a shock to our system when we go from one environment to something extremely different - similar to that of war veterans who suffered P.S.T.D. after returning to their homeland. Not only did they come from an environment that no one home-side could relate to, but many of the people in their homeland opposed the war - which caused war veterans to be looked down upon. This process is very similar in nature to exiting a spiritually abusive group.

There is a lot of information on the Internet about P.T.S.D., but most of it is very heavy, full of sad stories and complex ideas. However, I did find an article that outlined the means of recovery from P.T.S.D. - which seems to be about the best thing I found on the subject. It'd great to find articles that validate your experience, but it's even better to find articles on how to recover from it.

Here is the article:

The task of every trauma victim is to discover healing and direction in events that not only injure but have the power to destroy. How to develop hope and spiritual deepening in the midst of despair is a challenge that every survivor must meet. Most humans experience some form of trauma during the course of their lives. Life, in the final analysis, is forever on the verge of overwhelming one's capacities to cope. Traumatic injuries, along with other wounds, are not accidents. They are catalysts that have the potential to place one on the spiritual path.

Every traumatized individual must transcend limited visions of self, while at the same time, aligning him/herself with something greater. Most human restlessness and pain is the result of the Spirit's incessant demand that humans live from the deepest part of their being.

Discovering growth and healing, in the face of traumatic injury, is very difficult. As a result, few choose this path. Most settle for lives of quiet desperation structured around compulsive, repetitive and addictive behaviors designed to draw attention away from the truths exposed by their wounds. Those taking up the path of healing become modern-day mystics who inspire the rest of humanity to keep reaching for wholeness and the Spirit.

Blood, sweat and tears are required to overcome the despair and suffering generated by traumatic injuries, along with the cherished versions of self, world and God. Initially, a spirituality of trauma is a spirituality of disillusionment and grief. Ultimately, it can become a spirituality of compassion, liberation and peace.

May this be the vision for ourselves and for a world in pain.

Thoughts?

:cool:

[ex-shep]

Very accurate. Paul Martin at Wellspring has done research that many former member do actually go through a form of PTSD. Actually the DSM-II diagnosis for cult mind control recovery is environmental disasociative disorder. Former member, myself included, go through stages like they are back in the cult dynamic. It is frightening. I had to leave an exceptional good mainline church which I could recomend in heartbeat because the flashbacks.

I commented to my wife as we walked out the door from a great Christmas concert at church, that I would feel bad if I took some newly exited from a spiritually abusive church or cult. I could see where it could have been a sensory overload.

Your comments were right on. Thanks for sharing.

[Sheep]

Thanks, Voyager.

I am recovering from PTSD, so your post was helpful and hopeful. Just like my son will not "outgrow" his autism but is learning how to overcome learning disabilites that come with it and sensory difficulties so I too can manage my PTSD symptoms. God is gracious!

Sheep :)

[mithsmile]

This drives the "touchy, feely" people crazy. I literally had a group of women on a worship team I led arguing over my leadership style because a couple of them wanted me to be more "sensitive" by focusing on "how is everybody feeling today?" even if it meant spending hours and hours preparing for a 15-minute worship set. The rest of the group was elated that they finally had a leader who knew how to get the job done to the best of our ability in the least amount of time and everyone back home to their families at a reasonable hour. Of course, it turned out that I was the "bad-guy" because the "touchy, feely" gals were wives of doctors and investment gurus and the rest were just ordinary stay-at-home moms who were sometimes wondering how they were going to buy groceries that week. And in my church, money always wins. But I digress . . . .

[ex-shep]

This drives the "touchy, feely" people crazy. I literally had a group of women on a worship team I led arguing over my leadership style because a couple of them wanted me to be more "sensitive" by focusing on "how is everybody feeling today?" even if it meant spending hours and hours preparing for a 15-minute worship set. The rest of the group was elated that they finally had a leader who knew how to get the job done to the best of our ability in the least amount of time and everyone back home to their families at a reasonable hour. Of course, it turned out that I was the "bad-guy" because the "touchy, feely" gals were wives of doctors and investment gurus and the rest were just ordinary stay-at-home moms who were sometimes wondering how they were going to buy groceries that week. And in my church, money always wins. But I digress . . . .


I hate that crowd. I could never get anybody to see that the christian life was not all smiles. I do not think touchy feeling would work well with Were You There or the Dies Irae from Verdi Requiem. Try that in a Greek Orthodox and see how far you get.

[Hennie]

Voyager posted: "Voyager posted: "The effects on an individual from leaving a spiritually abusive group have been compared with those of post traumatic stress disorder. It's like a shock to our system when we go from one environment to something extremely different - similar to that of war veterans who suffered P.S.T.D. after returning to their homeland."

I am glad you posted this. Your description is exactly how I often feel. It has been three years since I left a Calvary Chapel worship group and I have been filling the void with work and school. But now the time has come to face my demons so to speak. I will never go back to my life in that church but I often find myself thinking, "Maybe if I try it one more time . . ."

I can relate to how our veterans must feel when they return after combat. It is hard to find anyone who understands what spiritual abuse is.

I believe in God. I always will. But I don't understand what is happening in our churches today -- or why.

Thank you for your post, Voyager. I am fairly new to this forum. I feel lucky to be here with people who can relate to where I am coming from. This is a path to healing for me.

[rlt30]

I am doing this for a class project, your information has been very helpful.
Thank you and good luck.

[gracefull]

It's not just that it is compared with PTSD, spiritual abuse can actually cause PTSD. I have verified, documented PTSD. Three physicians and two social workers have confirmed that the spiritual abuse I suffered was a major factor in my PTSD. Yes, I have been the victim of horrific physical abuse, but that has been much easier to recover from than the spiritual abuse. It is the effects of the spiritual abuse that has caused the severity and the persistance of the PTSD in my life. What I endured physically pales in comparison to what I endured spiritually.

What makes spiritual abuse so difficult to recover from is that it takes from you the very source of healing and comfort. 2 Corinthians 1 calls God the "God of all comfort." If that source of all comfort has been misrepresented in a person's life, or used as a source of mistreatment, it makes trust and healing very difficult.

[KSM]

Excellent post, Gracefull.

Most of my spiritual abuse was verbal. The pastor would literally stand and tell me that "God doesn't need you and this church doesn't need you," or "you don't deserve anything but hell." I began to see myself as worthless to God. From what I've read of others' experiences (on other boards), at least some who've been spiritually abused are left feeling that we can't please God, that our eternal fate has already been determined, and/or that God doesn't love us.

But He does, and very much.

[Jerry]

Excellent post, Gracefull.

Most of my spiritual abuse was verbal. The pastor would literally stand and tell me that "God doesn't need you and this church doesn't need you," or "you don't deserve anything but hell." I began to see myself as worthless to God. From what I've read of others' experiences (on other boards), at least some who've been spiritually abused are left feeling that we can't please God, that our eternal fate has already been determined, and/or that God doesn't love us.

But He does, and very much.


John 11/35

[stillworkingthroughit]

Hi, I was looking up cults and PTSD on the internet and found a link to this discussion. I've been wondering for the past few months if I had some form of PTSD after I left the church I was part of.

My father was in Vietnam, and I KNOW what PTSD looks like, so comparing my symptoms to his, I thought I didn't have it. Yet, when I read about it, I relate to so many of the symptoms. After I left, I felt this horrible sense of impending doom (like I was going to die in the next six months). It was not fun and I couldn't shake it. I couldn't concentrate in school, couldn't remember anything, felt "on edge" all the time, etc. At the same time, though, I don't remember any problems sleeping (actually I couldn't wait to go to bed, then I could stop feeling the way I was), didn't have flashbacks or outbursts of anger (though I was angry a lot).

I was wondering if anyone who has PTSD would feel comfortable sharing what their symptoms were, and how they were diagnosed.

[riverdove]

Stillworkingthroughtit,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through now. I for one have felt that way shortly after leaving the abusive group--the thought of going to sleep and not getting up again has happened a lot before. All I can say is that PTSD cuts deep into the wounds (especially those from religious abuse). I felt so "crazy" and at some point in time and have even thought of myself as "subhuman." This is how messed up abusive religion can land people up! If I had to go back in time, I would join a recovery group as soon as I left the abusive place. Even going to AA meetings at some point in my road to recovery has helped me tremendously in staying in touch with my own humanness. Since SA is so heinous ... you can't talk and that's what drove me to my own "insanity" ... I've learned that talking about it is ok, healthy and even therapeutic ... especially to people who aren't abusive and who have a heart filled with genuine care and love for others. They're willing to listen without any judgment or condemnation. Listening to others sharing their life stories has also helped me realized that I'm not alone and I'm not crazy and there are many others like myself out there suffering .... albeit for a multitude of reasons.

Thank you for sharing. Please be very gentle with yourself and give yourself plenty of time to heal. Take care.

[ex-shep]

Hi, I was looking up cults and PTSD on the internet and found a link to this discussion. I've been wondering for the past few months if I had some form of PTSD after I left the church I was part of.

My father was in Vietnam, and I KNOW what PTSD looks like, so comparing my symptoms to his, I thought I didn't have it. Yet, when I read about it, I relate to so many of the symptoms. After I left, I felt this horrible sense of impending doom (like I was going to die in the next six months). It was not fun and I couldn't shake it. I couldn't concentrate in school, couldn't remember anything, felt "on edge" all the time, etc. At the same time, though, I don't remember any problems sleeping (actually I couldn't wait to go to bed, then I could stop feeling the way I was), didn't have flashbacks or outbursts of anger (though I was angry a lot).

I was wondering if anyone who has PTSD would feel comfortable sharing what their symptoms were, and how they were diagnosed.


I am not a professional, but many forums members including myself, have had similar experiences after leaving their groups. Flashbacks are very common. The process is known as floating. An innocent trigger can cause one to disassociate. It is a form of preoperant conditioning on the part of the group. I felt deep wells of anger at the friend who got me into the movement which caused me grief. Of course, she had no idea what was going on. The person had some issues herself. The best I could do was acknowledge the anger and move on. Obviously I could not act on it. I share my feeling in safe recovery communities. I used the AA 12 steps as a point of recovery. It took time, but I got through it.

Keep in mind, this is just one poster's experiences.


http://www.icsahome.com/infoserv_articles/giambalvo_carol_copingwithtriggersandptsd.htm

is a good thumbnail resource. Feel free to browse the website. If you have any questions or just need a safe place to hang out for a moment, feel to post away -- within reason. Virtual coffeepot is always brewing.

[KSM]

I haven't been professionally diagnosed, but I'd say I have some PTSD-like symptoms, at least. :) There are certain words, phrases and actions (clapping during the preaching and certain songs, for instance) that make my heart beat faster and leave me short of breath. There are a few things that have been said or done (major changes in staff, someone saying they disagree with the pastor) that can put me in a major tail spin.

My grandpa fought in WWII. He was a navigator on a bomber. He wouldn't go to fireworks displays, or get in small spaces. Both reminded him too much of getting shot at. He'd tailspin too. I don't know if he had nightmares. I don't usually. I just see mental flashbacks when awake, or hear snippets of sermons or things people said during the time I should be hearing a lesson or sermon or music.

When I realize what's happening I can talk myself into calming down and remind myself that everything's ok and I'm not there anymore. Most of the time it works at least to a large degree. But if it comes as a surprise, I have a lot of trouble with it.

[KSM]

Crnth, Please forgive the spam on this site. It should be cleared up within a day or two, I hope.

[stillworkingthroughit]

Thank you for the responses regarding PTSD. It helps so much to hear what others have experienced. For so long I just thought something was wrong with me. Now I realize, there was! But it was normal considering the experiences I had. Thanks for the encouragement.

[KSM]

I don't remember any problems sleeping (actually I couldn't wait to go to bed, then I could stop feeling the way I was), didn't have flashbacks or outbursts of anger (though I was angry a lot).


My understanding is that this might be a sign of depression, though I'm sure it can indicate other things too.

I'm not sure, but what a person exhibits in PTSD might depend on the circumstances they faced, how long they faced them, whether they came in sudden surprise bursts or were continuous for months or years, and how they've been wired to deal with unthinkable situations.

[ex-shep]

There has been a lot of discussion on the forum over the years on PTSD. Sometimes an innocent remark can send a former member into a traumatic tailspin. I remember one group used to color code devotion to the Lord. Blue was connotative of death. It must hard on the little old who made the sweet, but inadvertently naive comment, "Honey you are looking blue today" to see the former member have complete emotional melt down as a result of the trigger.

My favorite tail spin happened decades ago at an temporary agency. The receptionist just happened to be dressed a blue dress with a white collar -- the same style of dress exactly like the uniforms the women wore at the pentecostal bible school. I quickly collected myself, offered a brief explanation, and moved on with filling out the paperwork. Still it was a psychic occurrence I could have done without.

[Gizmo]

I am not a professional, but many forums members including myself, have had similar experiences after leaving their groups. Flashbacks are very common. The process is known as floating. An innocent trigger can cause one to disassociate. It is a form of preoperant conditioning on the part of the group. I felt deep wells of anger at the friend who got me into the movement which caused me grief. Of course, she had no idea what was going on. The person had some issues herself. The best I could do was acknowledge the anger and move on. Obviously I could not act on it. I share my feeling in safe recovery communities. I used the AA 12 steps as a point of recovery. It took time, but I got through it.

Keep in mind, this is just one poster's experiences.


http://www.icsahome.com/infoserv_articles/giambalvo_carol_copingwithtriggersandptsd.htm

is a good thumbnail resource. Feel free to browse the website. If you have any questions or just need a safe place to hang out for a moment, feel to post away -- within reason. Virtual coffeepot is always brewing.

[ex-shep]

[QUOTE=ex-shep;73027]I am not a professional, but many forums members including myself, have had similar experiences after leaving their groups. Flashbacks are very common. The process is known as floating. An innocent trigger can cause one to disassociate. It is a form of preoperant conditioning on the part of the group. I felt deep wells of anger at the friend who got me into the movement which caused me grief. Of course, she had no idea what was going on. The person had some issues herself. The best I could do was acknowledge the anger and move on. Obviously I could not act on it. I share my feeling in safe recovery communities. I used the AA 12 steps as a point of recovery. It took time, but I got through it.

Keep in mind, this is just one poster's experiences.


http://www.icsahome.com/infoserv_articles/giambalvo_carol_copingwithtriggersandptsd.htm

Wow!! One of my posts brought forward. Carol Giambalvo, the author of the above link, is a great lady. If one can break the piggy bank and go to one of her retreats with Refocus or ICSA, it is well worth the trip and time off from work.

The person, with whom I was angry, and I actually reunited in 2007. I am blessed to have her back as a friend. My wife loves her for the world. 20 + years of hard fought prayer have paid off in dividends.

[ex-shep]

There has been a lot of discussion on the forum over the years on PTSD. Sometimes an innocent remark can send a former member into a traumatic tailspin. I remember one group used to color code devotion to the Lord. Blue was connotative of death. It must hard on the little old who made the sweet, but inadvertently naive comment, "Honey you are looking blue today" to see the former member have complete emotional melt down as a result of the trigger.

My favorite tail spin happened decades ago at an temporary agency. The receptionist just happened to be dressed a blue dress with a white collar -- the same style of dress exactly like the uniforms the women wore at the pentecostal bible school. I quickly collected myself, offered a brief explanation, and moved on with filling out the paperwork. Still it was a psychic occurrence I could have done without.


updated the thread and brought the comment forward

[Gizmo]

Voyager, Thank you for sharing that. I found it insightful and helpful. Ptsd is somthing I personally deal with everyday. I have suffered nightmares and alot of anxiety. It is a struggle to deal with the spiritual abuse. It is so insidious . I have suffered alot of grief over this. It has affected my family as well. I wish it never happened to me. I was doing so much better before it happened. It is the mindset of the toxic religious that has done the most damage. The gossip is a evil, a thing in a small community, does so much damage. The denial, the beliefs, the fact that people have so much wrong inside of them, and they consider themselves sinless. It makes my brain tired just thinking about the whole thing. Anyways, thank you again.